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About Me

Thanks for checking out my site - the entire point is free self-help with agony aunt-style advice on lots of topics. That said, no article (in full or in part) may be reprinted or used without my premission.

I work as an agony aunt, life and solutions coach, commentator and writer on sex, relationships, and behaviour.

I hope you'll find the articles & tips useful! I've sorted them into the main areas of: sex, love & relationships, parenting, life coaching, and others.

Please get in touch at 'e-mail me' on my homepage - I'd love to answer every e-mail but as I run my site without assistance and work full-time sadly I can't.

In my work as an agony aunt, solutions coach and writer I've written 14 self-help books, my latest are Sex Academy, How to be a Happy Human and The Emotional Eater's Diet. I'm also...

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...an occasional broadcaster doing a bit of radio & TV.

For over three years I've had a fortnightly online sex and love advice column for the Sun newspaper - please do visit the Sun online - a new column goes live every other Friday full of top tips on sex and love.

Recently I did a fun project as a regular celebrity news/relationships commentator on a small satellite show and I pop up on different TV programmes as an agony aunt and social commentator like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Loose Women, Sky News, and the spin off Big Brother programmes.

Since 1997 I've presented radio programmes and was over-the-moon to win a Sony radio award when I was at Heart FM London here I presented shows for five years. I then presented for 4 1/2 years on LBC before going freelance. Since then I've presented and 'guested' on a huge number of BBC regional stations inclduing BBC London, Western regions and Surrey and Sussex.

For two years I had a weekly agony slot on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as a weekly dream analysis slot on George Lamb's previous BBC 6 Music shows.

I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology - my BSc Hons in psychology from a London university, MPhil in psychology from the London teaching hospital I received my PhD from + ad hoc counselling-type and self-improvement/life-coaching courses. I'm a Chartered Research, Teaching & Academic psychologist with the BPS.

I have worked with a number of charities and presently am a patron of Kids in the Middle that advises parents who are breaking up on how to help their children during this difficult time.

It's fun writing a weekly 'Love Doc' page for Miss Independent Woman website - check them out here! And I'm starting a new agony column with the Yummy Mummy website.

I also support the fantastic work of Kevin Healey and to his autism bullying campaign as well as being a founding member of Kids in the Middle - a charity that aims to promote awareness in parents who are breaking up and how this can affect their children.

I'm delighted to support Saying Goodbye a  charity supporting and providing national services for those who have suffered a miscarriage, still birth or early years loss. 

No two days are the same and I enjoy fresh challenges and always look for new things to do having written self-help columns and articles for many websites and magazines.

I hope you find the site helpful - it's packed with tips and advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates!

Keep happy, keep hopeful, Dr Pam x

p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate (I'm a complete chocoholic) + music including artists/bands - off the top of my head  and in a completely random order - Foos, Kings of Leon, Royal Blood, Pulled Apart by Horses, Jack White, Mallory Knox, Bloc Party, XX, The Drums, Wild Beasts, Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Strokes, The Dead Weather, Them Crooked Vultures, Alabama Shakes, Biffy Clyro, Enter Shakari, MGMT, Band of Horses, Arcade Fire, White Lies, Example, Calvin Harris, Mark Ronson, Black Keys, Plan B, MIA, Tinie Tempah, Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, JayZ, plus AWOL Nation, TEED, Wretch 32, Angel, Jay James Picton, Kendrick Lamar, Spector, Wolfgang, Ed Sheeran and Liam Bailey, Ben Howard, plus dubstep Magnetic Man, Modestep, Nero and Katy B + so many more... like poptastic (and sometimes guilty) pleasures like The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Britney, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, Robert Harris, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba, Cambodia, Thailand and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports like water skiing, skiing, paragliding, hiking and I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (not related to Karate).

 

I pop up on different TV programmes like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Big Brother's Little Brother, GMTV, Loose Women and others. I've presented radio programmes since 1997 and won a Sony radio award when I was at Heart 106.2 FM. Think that's the only award I've ever won - I'm not counting a fashion award I won in high school, for creating an entire outfit out of purple, as quite frankly my fashion sense nowadays could be politely described as "eclectic".
I presently do two weekly radio slots - have been doing Wednesdays on George Lamb's BBC 6 Music show for months, but when he moves to weekends in December I'll be doing contributions to his new shows. Tuesdays on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as lots of freelancing on various stations - popping up weekly on stations around the country.
I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology + counselling-type areas.
No two days are the same as quite frankly I have a low boredom threshold - I need fresh challenges and I'm always looking for new things to do.
I write about love, sex, life - and even celebrities' behaviour - for newspapers like The Express, The Sun, The Times and others, magazines like Love it! and Scarlet plus the 'glossies' like Cosmo, Glamour, Red, Now, More, and so on. Check out my new weekly column on iVillage.co.uk and my regular contributions to MSN.co.uk, as well as the Goodtoknow.co.uk, Men's Health, Orange and GQ websites amongst others. 
I hope you find the site super helpful - it's packed with advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates like the little sex tip films I plan plus other interesting things!
Keep happy, Dr Pam x 
p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate + music including artists/bands (off the top of my head) from Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, Kings of Leon, Bloc Party, Wild Beast (v happy to see them on Jools Holland as have never caught them live), Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Foo Fighters, and so many more to pop like my guilty pleasures of The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports - I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (funny enough not related to Karate). And my biggest loves of all are my hubby and two children.
My 'hates' include...well, I might just keep those to myself!

 

 

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News

Rinsing… rinse your morals and well-being away…

18/12/2014

Despite there being many potential consequences for ‘rinsers’ there is a burgeoning industry of rinsing that’s developed online. If you don’t know, rinsing is where a woman has a wish list of gifts or cash and a man asks her to do certain things in return for buying them. And of course there are young men who also ‘rinse’.

In today’s Sun newspaper I’ve commented on one woman’s story and her “pay pigs” as she calls the men she rinses.

TODAY’S TIP: Check out the consequences because cash and gifts from strangers are never ‘free’.

Look after yourself, Pamx



How to seduce an older woman plus lovely GIVEAWAY!

12/12/2014

With the news that one of the new James Bond beauties in the forthcoming film Spectre is 50 years old, dating agencies have reported a huge jump in men looking for dates from 45 to 55 years old. In my fortnightly Sun newspaper online column I’ve written a little guide for men to ‘catch a cougar’.

There are some fun tips – and do check out the lovely Ann Summers giveaway for two lucky readers.

Happy weekend, Pamx

 

Don't let that flirting with a colleague turn into a fling at the Christmas party...

09/12/2014

Who doesn't love a Christmas party? I do! But I hear from so many people who screw up their relationships because they've been flirting with a colleague all year... then they go to the Christmas party and throw lots of alcohol into the mix and they end up having a fling.

I've commented on one woman's story in today's Sun newspaper. There's a few tips to help you avoid this kind of heartbreak.

Take care, Pamx


GIVEAWAY - My publisher is giving away two copies of my book on emotional eating!

08/12/2014

An early Christmas treat for you – my lovely publisher is giving away two copies of my book The Emotional Eater's Diet! (check my book out on the upper right of my homepage)

All you have to do to be in with a chance to win is follow me on twitter (you can follow me from my homepage) and retweet one of the relevant tweets.

Good luck, the two winners will be informed by my publisher by Wednesday, December 10th.

Take care of yourself, Pamx

From how to have phone sex to handling an ex…

04/12/2014

Lots of dilemmas in my monthly life coaching and agony aunt column for Magnet magazine. Here’s the link if you want to check out the advice about trying phone sex, a boss that harasses, and an ex who won’t get the message (please note> the link takes a little while to open). 

Take care, Pamx

Can you affair proof your relationship? Men who use sex workers.Plus GIVEAWAY!

28/11/2014

With the statistics on cheating remaining high it’s one of my prerogatives to get people thinking about how they can stop that slippery slope into an affair.

My fortnightly Sun newspaper online column today tackles this. Check out the tips but also there is a fabulous Ann Summers giveaway for two lucky readers.

That’s my aim – spread some happiness for the weekend with a giveaway.

Plus - I have some concerns about men who use sex workers almost exclusively. There’s a place for sex workers and men use them for many different reasons - but I’m always concerned when someone uses them exclusively. How does such a man relate to real women when he decides he wants a relationship?

I’ve commented on one man’s story in today’s Sun.

TODAY’S TIP: If you’re that rare man who believes they never want to have a relationship with a woman - and you do have a sex drive - there’s nothing wrong with paying sex workers as long as you practice safer sex and do it all safely.

But if you think you might want to have a relationship at some point then you need to think carefully about how very different having a full relationship and sex life is with a woman compared to the sex workers you pay to fulfil your needs.

It’s a very naive man who doesn’t think their behaviour towards sex workers - they’re selling a commodity, he’s buying it - will ever impact on the way they treat women generally.

Take care of yourself, Pamx

Happy Thanksgiving⋘ ❤ ⋙ ♥♡❤♡♥ ⋘❤ ⋙ whether you're American or not!

27/11/2014

It doesn't matter if you're American or not – use Thanksgiving as a time to take a moment and think of all your thankful for – a particular friend, a supportive family member, a colleague who helps you out, the partner who's there for you.

Give thanks and let them know you appreciate them, much love, Pamx

Once you’ve been conned it’s tough to trust again…

26/11/2014

The Shirley Valentine syndrome is far more common than you’d think and in today’s Sun newspaper I’ve commented on one woman’s story. She had her heart broken and her bank balance destroyed by her young, Turkish toyboy.

TODAY’S TIP: It’s crucial whether you meet someone online, on holiday - or at your local pub - that until you really know and trust them you don’t loan or give them money. You may desperately want to help out because you think you’re falling in love (and your knickers are on fire with lust) but it’d be horrible to discover they only wanted your cash.

Be of yourself, Pamx

 

Check out the fabulous giveaway I have...

24/11/2014

Today through Wednesday on twitter you have a chance of winning a fabulous Twenty One Vibrating 'Diamond' worth £49.95. All you have to do is retweet my competition tweet on twitter and follow me on twitter for a chance to win.

The lovely people at Bijoux Indiscret will be choosing the winner on Wednesday late afternoon November 26th. Good luck! This is just in time for Christmas and would be the perfect sexy gift for yourself or to give someone special.

Love from me xx

She faced a double blow of betrayal…

22/11/2014

In today’s Sun newspaper I’ve commented on a terrible story about betrayal. A woman’s husband and friend had an affair and deceived her in the most terrible way

TODAY’S TIP: Think before you slip into an affair – the consequences can be horrible for so many people including any children the couple may have.

I simply can’t fathom the selfishness of so many people. If only they’d think about the consequences then they might not cheat in the first place.

Take care of your relationship, Pamx

Books

The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!


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Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!


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How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.


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Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!


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Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.


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Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.


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The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

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The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

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Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!


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Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.


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Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'


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Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!


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