Have you been hit by a crisis and wonder how to cope?

19/06/2013

In my roles of agony aunt and life coach you can imagine how often I hear someone is facing a crisis. I thought I'd post an article I've written on coping in a crisis. If you or a loved one need some advice please check my homepage at "hot off the press". It was written about facing profound illness but many of the tips apply to practically any type of crisis.

On another note I was sad to miss my weekly Love Doc slot with the lovely Angela and Spence on the Heart Northwest and Wales breakfast show but my schedule didn't allow it today. Back next week with those two!

TODAY’S TIP: When you're smack in the eye of the storm of crisis you feel you can't see a way out. There will be, one step at a time.

I hope my tips are helpful, take care, Pamx

Discussing impulsivity on Big Brother last night...

18/06/2013

It was so much fun meeting Rylan and AJ last night out at Big Brother - although I have met AJ in the last series we were both guests.

If you watch Big Brother you’ll know it was an exciting programme with housemate Michael having full responsibility for the nominations this week - of course the other housemates don't realise the public have been guiding Michael on what to do.

Although inside the house it's an extreme version of real-life we can take some lessons from how the housemates cope with stress especially a sense of rejection when you're nominated. So much depends on how impulsive you are and how you react to stress - whether you make it obvious to everyone exactly how you feel or if you're less impulsive you can keep things closer to your chest. Sometimes it's a good thing not to show your entire hand.

TODAY’S TIP: Recognising how impulsive you can be is part of self-knowledge. People who talk about "flying off the handle" are usually highly impulsive. One excellent tip is the classic tip of stopping yourself before you say anything, give yourself a few minutes to calm down and think about the repercussions of what you do say.

Practise makes perfect and this can help with impulse control.

Take care of yourself, Pamx

Off to Big Brother’s Bit on the Side tonight...

17/06/2013

A fantastic start to the new Big Brother series with a real mix of characters - I'm so looking forward to meeting Rylan and AJ tonight on BBBOTS as there's so much to talk about.

Obviously at this point it top secret what we’re talking about so hope you'll be able to watch after 11 PM tonight

TODAY’S TIP: my biggest tip to anyone being thrown in with a group of new people is to keep your mind open. When under stress and feeling nervous people adopt all sorts of ‘fronts’ or put up barriers. Give people a chance to settle in before deciding whether they're going to be a friend, an acquaintance, or someone you steer clear of! Just as Sallie said about Jemima on last night's Big Brother show - how she'd got her wrong at first.

Happy Monday, Pamx

When people say nasty things in anger. Plus Big Brother rolls into town...

15/06/2013

Fantastic start to Big Brother - what a magnificent collection of personalities - I so look forward to discussing them on Monday night’s Big Brothers Bit on the Side.

Now, if In my Miss Independent Woman website Love Doc page this week I've tackled one woman's dilemma where her boyfriend told her she was useless in bed - an incredibly hurtful thing to say! Undoubtedly he has anger issues and I've given her some advice along those lines. Here's the link and if this dilemma is something you're facing I hope my tips help.

TODAY’S TIP: no one has the right take out their anger issues on you - hold this firmly in mind and you'll be able to set your boundaries if someone tries this.

Yes of course we're all human and take sometimes our little stresses and strains on our nearest and dearest but that shouldn't include nastiness and saying deeply hurtful things.

Have a lovely weekend, back here on Monday, Pamx

Has a physical attributes put you off someone?

13/06/2013

Please don't tell me it's Thursday again - National Agony Aunt Day has arrived already! Thanks as always for your e-mails and today I've answered one from "Chloe". Chloe has a new boyfriend and when she finally went to bed with him recently she was put off by scarring on his body. Do check my straight talking answer on my homepage at "my answer to this week's dilemma".

TODAY’S TIP: Too many people make snap judgments about someone's desirability based on a physical attribute. We should all check ourselves if we're being shallow about someone - shallowness is not a desirable trait!

Happy Thursday, Pamx

Divorced? Have you had a divorce party?

12/06/2013

So you've got divorced and life is changing - and has been for a while obviously as divorces don't happen overnight! Do you want to flag up a new phase of life? I'm chatting divorce parties at 8:05 AM on my Love Doc slot today at 8:05 AM with Angela and Spence on the Heart Northwest and Wales breakfast show.

TODAY’S TIP: Divorce parties can signal that you're moving on and are ready to start your new life. But divorce party should come with a word of warning - if you have children they certainly shouldn't get wind of the fact you're celebrating with friends. Sadly there are some parents so tactless that they don't think how a divorce party could break their child's heart.

So keep it subtle and say you're going out for a quiet dinner - and then you can let your hair down with your friends.

There are some who will say this is distasteful and downgrades marriage - they don't have to have one if their marriage ends - I for one don't agree tempting for many it signals a new lease of life - and I'm a strong believer in marriage!

Take care of yourself, Pamx

Online dating can be fantastic with a little caution...

11/06/2013

New research shows that many couples who met online have very successful relationships and I contributed to an article in the Telegraph newspaper about this. I was asked for any particular issues that should be flagged up. And there are a couple crucial ones - do check out the article here.

TODAY’S TIP: it's crucial that you don't adopt the ‘grass is always greener mentality’ when you're searching profiles for potential partners. It's easy to come across some great profiles and then think... hang on a minute, there might be someone even more perfect!

Time limit your search to avoid this issue.

Wishing you so much good luck searching for love, Pamx

Is your partner complaining of boredom in the bedroom?

10/06/2013

I don't think any long-term couple are being honest if they say they never feel a bit bored in the bedroom. This is a quite natural state of being in all aspects of our life - including sex. Of course if boredom is left unchecked the relationship rot can set in and worst case scenario a bored partner has an affair. I'm not excusing affairs I'm just stating a fact.

In my Miss Independent Woman website 'Love Doc' page this week I've tackled one woman's problem - her board partner has suggested a threesome. Check my advice here.

TODAY’S TIP: every partner should aim to sort out bedroom boredom but should never feel pressured to do something they feel is extreme. You'd be foolish to ignore boredom that goes on and on. But please find ways to spice things up that both of you are happy with.

Happy Monday, Pamx

Do you or your partner want to go a bit kinky in the bedroom?

07/06/2013

In my work I constantly hear from people who either want to try something a bit kinky her with their partner or whose partner has asked them and they are a little bit unsure of it.

Being asked to try something new and different - that pushes the boundaries a bit on your bedroom behaviour - can make a partner feel anxious. Due to all these requests for tips and suggestions I've tackled this in my Sun newspaper online Sex and Love Academy column. If this is on your mind or on your partner's do take a look at my tips.

TODAY’S TIP: We're already under enormous pressure to ‘perform’ in the bedroom because we think everyone else is having a grand old time. It seems the rare couple that doesn't worry about this. The most important tip is to think about your secret desire and how you could put it across to your partner without them feeling they don't satisfy you in bed.

Doing it in a loving, caring and flirty/sexy way and you'll probably be successful...here's to a bit of kinky love for you this weekend!

I'm back Monday and will tweet a few tips over the weekend, take care, Pamx

Could my weight be putting him off?

06/06/2013

It's crazy but it's Thursday again already so it's National Agony Aunt Day - lots of different dilemmas this week but I'm answering Sarah’s as I think it might resonate with an awful lot of women... Weight issues and sex.

Thanks for your questions and I wish I could answer them all! Please check out my advice to Sarah on my homepage at "dilemma I've answered this week".

TODAY’S TIP: Whenever you're worried about your weight you have to ask yourself this question - is your worry a realistic worry? Or are you getting caught up in the pressure to be extra slim.

You are what counts, you shouldn't be comparing your weight, we should all aim to be a weight that's healthy and where we can be active.

Take care of yourself, Pamx