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About Me

Thanks for checking out my site - the ENTIRE point is FREE self-help with agony aunt-style advice on lots of topics. That said, no article (in full or in part) may be reprinted or used (apart from reading it on this site) without my express premission.

I work as an agony aunt, life and solutions coach, commentator and writer on sex, relationships, and behaviour.

I hope you'll find the articles & tips useful! I've sorted them into the main areas of: sex, love & relationships, parenting, life coaching, and others.

Please get in touch about anything else at 'e-mail me' on my homepage - would love to answer every e-mail but as I run my site without assistance and work full-time sadly I can't. So I select 1 per week to answer on Thursdays.

In my work as an agony aunt, solutions coach and writer I've written 13 self-help books my latest are Sex Academy, How to be a Happy Human and Steamy Sex I'm also...

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...an occasional broadcaster - bit of radio & telly - so a little bit of everything to do with life.

Love having provided lots of sex and love tips in my fortnightly online sex and love advice column for the Sun newspaper that I've been writing for a few years. It was called 'Sex and Love Academy' - and now we've launched a new online column - Dr Pam's Pleasure Zone - please do visit the Sun online and a new column goes live every other Friday from 10th January 2014. It's full of top tips.

Recently I did a fun project as a regular celebrity news/relationships commentator on a small satellite show - fab to have new experiences.

Last summer I presented a series of agony aunt programmes on BBC radio Western regions - it was so much fun - worked with a great team and heard from many lovely people.

Occasionally I pop up on different TV programmes as an agony aunt and social commentator like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Daybreak, Loose Women, Sky News, the spin off Big Brother programmes and was a regular guest on the Vanessa Show on C5.

Since 1997 I've presented radio programmes and was over-the-moon to win a Sony radio award when I was at Heart 106.2 FM. That's the only award I've ever won - I'm not counting a fashion award I won in high school, for creating an entire outfit out of purple - quite frankly my fashion sense nowadays could be politely described as "eclectic".

For two years I had a weekly agony slot on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as lots of freelancing on various stations - popping up weekly on stations around the country - and used to do a weekly slot on George Lamb's previous BBC 6 Music shows...Oh George, that was quite an experience!

I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology - my BSc Hons in psychology from a London university, MPhil in psychology from the London teaching hospital I received my PhD from + ad hoc counselling-type and self-improvement/life-coaching courses. I'm a Chartered Research, Teaching & Academic psychologist with the BPS.

I have worked with a number of charities and presently am a patron of Kids in the Middle that advises parents who are breaking up on how to help their children during this difficult time.

It's fun writing a weekly 'Love Doc' page for Miss Independent Woman website - check them out here!

I also support the fantastic work of Kevin Healey and to his autism bullying campaign as well as being a founding member of Kids in the Middle - a charity that aims to promote awareness in parents who are breaking up and how this can affect their children.

I'm delighted to support Saying Goodbye a  charity supporting and providing national services for those who have suffered a miscarriage, still birth or early years loss. 

No two days are the same and I enjoy fresh challenges and always look for new things to do. Please check out my weekly agony column on iVillage.co.uk and my regular contributions to MSN.co.uk, as well as the Goodtoknow.co.uk, Men's Health, Orange and GQ websites amongst others.

I hope you find the site helpful - it's packed with tips and advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates!

Keep happy, keep hopeful, Dr Pam x

p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate (I'm a complete chocoholic) + music including artists/bands - off the top of my head  and in a completely random order - Foos, Kings of Leon, Royal Blood, Bloc Party, XX, The Drums, Wild Beasts, Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Strokes, The Dead Weather, Them Crooked Vultures, Jack White, Alabama Shakes, Biffy Clyro, Enter Shakari, MGMT, Band of Horses, Arcade Fire, White Lies, Example, Calvin Harris, Mark Ronson, Black Keys, Plan B, MIA, Tinie Tempah, Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, JayZ, plus newcomers like AWOL Nation, TEED, Wretch 32, Angel, Jay James Picton, Kendrick Lamar, Spector, Wolfgang, Ed Sheeran and Liam Bailey, Ben Howard, plus dubstep Magnetic Man, Modestep, Nero and Katy B + so many more... like the amazingly fab Lady Gaga to poptastic (sometimes guilty) pleasures like The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Britney, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, Robert Harris, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports - I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (funny enough not related to Karate). And my biggest loves of all are my hubby and children.

My 'hates' include...well, I might just keep those to myself.

I pop up on different TV programmes like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Big Brother's Little Brother, GMTV, Loose Women and others. I've presented radio programmes since 1997 and won a Sony radio award when I was at Heart 106.2 FM. Think that's the only award I've ever won - I'm not counting a fashion award I won in high school, for creating an entire outfit out of purple, as quite frankly my fashion sense nowadays could be politely described as "eclectic".
I presently do two weekly radio slots - have been doing Wednesdays on George Lamb's BBC 6 Music show for months, but when he moves to weekends in December I'll be doing contributions to his new shows. Tuesdays on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as lots of freelancing on various stations - popping up weekly on stations around the country.
I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology + counselling-type areas.
No two days are the same as quite frankly I have a low boredom threshold - I need fresh challenges and I'm always looking for new things to do.
I write about love, sex, life - and even celebrities' behaviour - for newspapers like The Express, The Sun, The Times and others, magazines like Love it! and Scarlet plus the 'glossies' like Cosmo, Glamour, Red, Now, More, and so on. Check out my new weekly column on iVillage.co.uk and my regular contributions to MSN.co.uk, as well as the Goodtoknow.co.uk, Men's Health, Orange and GQ websites amongst others. 
I hope you find the site super helpful - it's packed with advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates like the little sex tip films I plan plus other interesting things!
Keep happy, Dr Pam x 
p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate + music including artists/bands (off the top of my head) from Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, Kings of Leon, Bloc Party, Wild Beast (v happy to see them on Jools Holland as have never caught them live), Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Foo Fighters, and so many more to pop like my guilty pleasures of The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports - I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (funny enough not related to Karate). And my biggest loves of all are my hubby and two children.
My 'hates' include...well, I might just keep those to myself!

 

 

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News

Dilemma: Im falling for a game player. Back out to Big Brother studios tonight

28/07/2014

Hasn’t everyone fallen for a bad boy at some point? So-called players can be a bit irresistible and in my Miss Independent Woman website ‘Love Doc’ page this week I’ve answered one woman’s dilemma about this. Hope you find it helpful

Without giving the details of what Rylan and I are chatting about tonight at Bit on the Side let's just say there are many behavioural and emotional aspects to the housemates this week to discuss.

The power trip returned in such a big way last week and the repercussions and changes in the house since Friday night's eviction of Steven rumble on.

TODAY’S TIP: Back to our real lives – one thing we should learn from the housemates about how not to treat others is not to judge them too fast. They seem to have completely misjudged new housemate Pav who seems far less confident then his pre-entry VAT and is finding it hard going.

The old saying 'don't judge a book', etc., continues to be true.

Take care, Pamx

The sun, sea and sex of holiday romances

25/07/2014

Today on the Love Doc slot on Heart North and Wales I’m discussing holiday romances with Spence and Fiona. They are the most fun breakfast show team - if you have a chance to listen to them on the net and you want a giggle then do.

We’re talking the dos and don’ts of holiday flings at 8:10 AM. 

TODAY’S TIP: Remember you’ve got your holiday-head on when you’re abroad and it’s easy to make decisions that you regret. Have fun but play safe.

Enjoy the weekend, Pamx

Looking forward to a sex talk for mothers. And she feels so "fat and ugly in bed"

24/07/2014

I’m so looking forward to chatting to a group of mothers at Shoreditch House this morning about life-after-baby including having a sex life after the baby arrives.

It’s Thursday and National Agony Aunt Day is back - thanks for your emails and I’ve answered one from ‘Louisa’ about feeling fat and ugly in bed - those are her words not mine.

I hope you find my advice is helpful to her if you’re struggling with body image issues.

To love yourself - start by liking yourself, Pamx

 

Caught up in the passion of a whirlwind? Plus fantastic GIVEAWAY!

22/07/2014

With news of Cheryl Cole’s wedding after three months of dating (although evidently they’ve known each other for longer) whirlwind love and relationships have been on everyone’s minds.

In my Sun newspaper online column today – The Pleasure Zone - I’ve written about whirlwind passion and also when people have sex a bit sooner than they plan to.

Do check the lovely giveaway Ann Summers have provided me to 2 lucky winners.

TODAY’S TIP: Whirlwind feelings aren’t always equal and if you’re being pressured by someone to jump into living together or getting married too soon then do listen to your all-important intuition. If they really love you in a mature way (and not an immature demanding way) they’ll wait for the right time.

Happy TUesday, Pamx

Off to Borehamwood TV studios to chat about Big Brother

21/07/2014

Without revealing what I'm going to discuss with Rylan tonight let's just say there are plenty of things going on with the housemates to analyse.

Armageddon week lived up to its promise of causing extra stress and we saw various stress reactions in the housemates.

TODAY’S TIP: Back to real life – if you're going through a period of high stress make sure you connect with those people who understand you and that you can lean on.

Often there is a particular person in life who is very good when we're overly-stressed so spend some time with them and let them know how much you appreciate them.

Take care,Pamx

Chatting Royals. And in celebration of Prince Georges first birthday on Tuesday

19/07/2014

In today’s Sun newspaper there is a special pull-out celebrating Little George’s first birthday. It was a lot of fun doing the body language analysis of the family for the special celebration pull-out.

If it goes live on their website I will put the link here later.

At about 11:45 AM this morning I’m talking to Jon Gaunt on Fubar radio about the Royals - he’s always a lively host and I thoroughly enjoyed being interviewed by him!

Happy weekend, Pamx

Its back to the Big Brother studios tonight

16/07/2014

The upheaval in the Big Brother house has far reaching implications and I'm looking forward to chatting about it with the lovely Emma Willis tonight. Armageddon week's started and some of the housemates don't know how to cope with it - paranoia's on the increase.

TODAY’S TIP: Back to real life again – if unpredictable things are happening in your life maybe with your partner or work-life - remember you can manage them best by controlling your responses to them.

Once you decide you can help shape your own destiny - and what's happening with these changes - you cope much better. Good luck!

Pamx

 

The ups and downs of whirlwind relationships

15/07/2014

With Cheryl Cole in the news having got married within three months of meeting her French boyfriend people are interested in what goes on with whirlwind relationships.

I did a piece on This Morning television with the lovely Ruth Langsford and Eamon Holmes about the rollercoaster ride of whirlwind relationships. 

TODAY’S TIP: Some can be so successful and full of love - but first and foremost if you’re plunging into a whirlwind marriage (or maybe just moving in together after a very short time) stop and ask yourself what the rush is? Are you doing so because you truly think you’ve met your soulmate or are you doing so for reason like feeling insecure and wanting to tie them down?

That’s the starting point for giving your whirlwind relationship the best possible chance.

Look after each other, Pamx

He's too close to his ex

11/07/2014

Ex-partners have a lot to answer for when it comes to relationship problems… many people complain about isssues like when an ex can't let go, etc.

Then again, if a person spends too much time with their ex - when they're in a new relationship - that’s can also be a real problem. In my Miss Independent Woman magazine column today I’ve answered one woman’s dilemma about this. 

TODAY’S TIP: time to have full and frank 'ex-related' conversations if you’re in this situation. You can be made miserable knowing your partner's going off spending time with their ex. That truly is having their cake and eating it. Hope my advice in the column is helpful.

Take care, Pamx

I want to take up lapdancing to earn extra cash but

10/07/2014

It’s National Agony Aunt Day as I call it – thank you for your emails - I wish I could answer them all but I’ve chosen one today about one woman’s career decision that has caused problems with her boyfriend. Please check my homepage for my advice to her at “the dilemma I’ve answered this week”.

TODAY’S TIP: Ultimately people make choices that sometimes the partners don’t like but I think when your emotional well-being is at stake you need to think carefully. Also understand how a partner might feel about you doing something quite extreme.

Best of luck, Pamx

Books

The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!


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Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!


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How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.


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Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!


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Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.


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Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.


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The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

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The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

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Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!


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Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.


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Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'


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Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!


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