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The Ultimate Christmas Relationship Survival Guide


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About Me

Thanks for checking out my site - the entire point is free self-help with agony aunt-style advice on lots of topics. That said, no article (in full or in part) may be reprinted or used without my premission.

I work as an agony aunt, life and solutions coach, commentator and writer on sex, relationships, and behaviour.

I hope you'll find the articles & tips useful! I've sorted them into the main areas of: sex, love & relationships, parenting, life coaching, and others.

Please get in touch at 'e-mail me' on my homepage - I'd love to answer every e-mail but as I run my site without assistance and work full-time sadly I can't.

In my work as an agony aunt, solutions coach and writer I've written 14 self-help books, my latest are Sex Academy, How to be a Happy Human and The Emotional Eater's Diet. I'm also...

Read More » occasional broadcaster doing a bit of radio & TV.

For over three years I've had a fortnightly online sex and love advice column for the Sun newspaper - please do visit the Sun online - a new column goes live every other Friday full of top tips on sex and love.

Recently I did a fun project as a regular celebrity news/relationships commentator on a small satellite show and I pop up on different TV programmes as an agony aunt and social commentator like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Loose Women, Sky News, and the spin off Big Brother programmes.

Since 1997 I've presented radio programmes and was over-the-moon to win a Sony radio award when I was at Heart FM London here I presented shows for five years. I then presented for 4 1/2 years on LBC before going freelance. Since then I've presented and 'guested' on a huge number of BBC regional stations inclduing BBC London, Western regions and Surrey and Sussex.

For two years I had a weekly agony slot on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as a weekly dream analysis slot on George Lamb's previous BBC 6 Music shows.

I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology - my BSc Hons in psychology from a London university, MPhil in psychology from the London teaching hospital I received my PhD from + ad hoc counselling-type and self-improvement/life-coaching courses. I'm a Chartered Research, Teaching & Academic psychologist with the BPS.

I have worked with a number of charities and presently am a patron of Kids in the Middle that advises parents who are breaking up on how to help their children during this difficult time.

It's fun writing a weekly 'Love Doc' page for Miss Independent Woman website - check them out here! And I'm starting a new agony column with the Yummy Mummy website.

I also support the fantastic work of Kevin Healey and to his autism bullying campaign as well as being a founding member of Kids in the Middle - a charity that aims to promote awareness in parents who are breaking up and how this can affect their children.

I'm delighted to support Saying Goodbye a  charity supporting and providing national services for those who have suffered a miscarriage, still birth or early years loss. 

No two days are the same and I enjoy fresh challenges and always look for new things to do having written self-help columns and articles for many websites and magazines.

I hope you find the site helpful - it's packed with tips and advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates!

Keep happy, keep hopeful, Dr Pam x

p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate (I'm a complete chocoholic) + music including artists/bands - off the top of my head  and in a completely random order - Foos, Kings of Leon, Royal Blood, Pulled Apart by Horses, Jack White, Mallory Knox, Bloc Party, XX, The Drums, Wild Beasts, Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Strokes, The Dead Weather, Them Crooked Vultures, Alabama Shakes, Biffy Clyro, Enter Shakari, MGMT, Band of Horses, Arcade Fire, White Lies, Example, Calvin Harris, Mark Ronson, Black Keys, Plan B, MIA, Tinie Tempah, Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, JayZ, plus AWOL Nation, TEED, Wretch 32, Angel, Jay James Picton, Kendrick Lamar, Spector, Wolfgang, Ed Sheeran and Liam Bailey, Ben Howard, plus dubstep Magnetic Man, Modestep, Nero and Katy B + so many more... like poptastic (and sometimes guilty) pleasures like The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Britney, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, Robert Harris, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba, Cambodia, Thailand and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports like water skiing, skiing, paragliding, hiking and I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (not related to Karate).


I pop up on different TV programmes like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Big Brother's Little Brother, GMTV, Loose Women and others. I've presented radio programmes since 1997 and won a Sony radio award when I was at Heart 106.2 FM. Think that's the only award I've ever won - I'm not counting a fashion award I won in high school, for creating an entire outfit out of purple, as quite frankly my fashion sense nowadays could be politely described as "eclectic".
I presently do two weekly radio slots - have been doing Wednesdays on George Lamb's BBC 6 Music show for months, but when he moves to weekends in December I'll be doing contributions to his new shows. Tuesdays on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as lots of freelancing on various stations - popping up weekly on stations around the country.
I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology + counselling-type areas.
No two days are the same as quite frankly I have a low boredom threshold - I need fresh challenges and I'm always looking for new things to do.
I write about love, sex, life - and even celebrities' behaviour - for newspapers like The Express, The Sun, The Times and others, magazines like Love it! and Scarlet plus the 'glossies' like Cosmo, Glamour, Red, Now, More, and so on. Check out my new weekly column on and my regular contributions to, as well as the, Men's Health, Orange and GQ websites amongst others. 
I hope you find the site super helpful - it's packed with advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates like the little sex tip films I plan plus other interesting things!
Keep happy, Dr Pam x 
p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate + music including artists/bands (off the top of my head) from Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, Kings of Leon, Bloc Party, Wild Beast (v happy to see them on Jools Holland as have never caught them live), Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Foo Fighters, and so many more to pop like my guilty pleasures of The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports - I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (funny enough not related to Karate). And my biggest loves of all are my hubby and two children.
My 'hates' include...well, I might just keep those to myself!



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If you’re single, looking for love and not online you’re missing out! Plus GIVEAWAY…


In my Sun newspaper online column today I’ve delved into online dating research for you singles and give some top tips on what to watch out for in online 'profiles'. On top of that there are some sexy tips for you to try when you find someone special plus a fabulous giveaway from the lovely people at Ann Summers.

Check it out and good luck with the giveaway!

Happy weekend, Pamx

Doing a phone in on This Morning TV Wednesday 21st January…Plus colour therapy!


Hope you’ll join in the phone in on This Morning which will be about inappropriate relationships. Have you ever felt vulnerable with someone older or more powerful pressurising you? Did you end up in what you think is an inappropriate relationship? How did you cope? How did you end it?

I hope to hear from you on the phone in.

Also I have a fun piece on colour 'therapy' (well, not exctly therapy!) in the Sun newspaper today - it's about celebrities on the red carpet and the colours they choose to wear and what those colours reveal about their personality. 

Remember anything visual – the colours and styles you choose to wear, etc. give signals about your personality.

Look forward to hearing from you if you need help with your relationship, Pamx

An awful story about revenge porn…


It’s so cruel when someone uses home-made porn to get back an ex. But how about when a supposed friend captures you in the middle of ‘it’ and puts it online? I’ve commented on this tragic story in today’s Sun newspaper. It’s traumatised the woman it’s happened to.

TODAY’S TIP: You must be aware of who you bring into your life and whether they have a manipulative and/or dark side to their personality. Any signs that a person could hurt you in this way and you must show them the exit from your life.

Put yourself first, make the choice even if it’s a tough one to relegate a so called friend to ex-friendship status.

Take care, Pamx

A special GIVEAWAY to cheer up your January blues…


January can be a tough month for many people. You're facing those credit card bills (yes, why did you give such overly-generous Christmas presents?). The rave you had on New Year’s Eve seems a year ago and spring seems a long way off.

No fear, you know I like rising to the challenge so to combat those ‘blue’ feelings I’ve teamed up with the lovely people at online, sex toy retailers Jo Divine UK to giveaway two fun, sexy goody bags. Just check my Twitter feed on my homepage for the details.

Good luck – you might be one of the two winners!

Happy Monday, Pamx

Spice up your weekend with this sexy discount-offer…


The lovely people at online sex toy retailer Jo Divine UK are offering you a 10% discount on everything you buy until mid-day Monday! Use this offer code: DRPAMat their website here - go on, have some fun and enjoy… have a divine time J

Happy weekend, Pamx

The know-it-all parent who criticises your parenting – advice!


If you're a parent you'll know there's always someone in your social circle who thinks they're a better parent than you. I know, it's happened to me, especially as I was a very young mother and on a couple occasions people assumed they were better parents because of their age.

Nothing's more annoying for parents!

In my Yummy Mummy Beauty column this week I've tackled an extreme example of a sister-in-law who just keeps putting her nose in things. Here's the link, check it out - use the advice if you're going through this.

And try not to see too much red - instead put them in their place with a couple of my methods.

Take care, Pamx

Caesareans, natural birth and your sex life…


On Yahoo Lifestyle today I’ve commented on new statistics about Caesareans and how many women have them thinking they’ll prevent issues with their sex life. Hope you find the tips helpful at the end of the article.

I always advocate as natural a birth as possible – of course Caesareans may be necessary in certain circumstances but why have the anaesthesia and surgery if you can avoid it?

Take care of yourself, Pamx


Your 10 top sex questions answered plus GIVEAWAY!


There are questions on every person’s lips when it comes to sex but sometimes they’re too embarrassed to ask or don’t know who to ask. Well, I have some advice to come to your rescue in my Sun newspaper online column today.

I also have a fabulous giveaway have We Vibe Plus for vibrator worth £129.99 for one lucky reader. Good luck!

TODAY’S TIP: There’s always help somewhere – an agony aunt, a counsellor or psychologist to get some answers to your questions. Don’t worry in silence.

Happy weekend, Pamx

Have a great giveaway on Twitter celebrating the release of Cameron Diaz DVD!


I have a fabulous giveaway on twitter to celebrate the release of the DVD of Sex Tape starring Cameron Diaz - still time to enter - check my twitter account and good luck! Winner announced tomorrow, Pamxx

Phone in on age gap relationships on ITV This Morning! Plus sex toy joy!


Wednesday 7th January I’m doing a live phone in on This Morning to answer any problems you have in your age gap relationship. Do get in touch!

Also today I have some sex tips for couples in the Sun newspaper. One woman's story is a fantastic eye opener - a positive example of the joy of sex toys.

I hope you join me for the phone in after 10:30 AM, Pamx


The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!

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Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!

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How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.

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Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!

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Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.

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Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.

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The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

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The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

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Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!

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Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.

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Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'

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Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!

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