Latest From the Blog

Full of cold? Don't let that put you off sex because...

Increasingly research shows that sex boosts your immune system. Check out why it's good for you in my Sun newspaper comment.

Go on, it's time for some caresses and cuddles between that coughing!
Do what the doc's ordered...

Take care, Pam x


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Some seriously sexy tips for you...

In my Sun newspaper column I've highlighted some intriguing and unique ways that some women can climax in.

This doesn't mean you should feel the pressure to climax in these seven different ways!
Not at all. Instead use them as a guide to discovering all your pleasure-zones that may or may not help you to climax.

Have fun, Pam x

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5 classic deal breakers and tips to cope...

I was just speaking to someone who broke up with her 'new-ish' boyfriend due to his lack of passion in the bedroom. She's a passioante woman and she wanted more.

After only dating for 8 weeks she decided to cut loose, her perogative!

But I remembered this article I wrote about deal breakers, here you go...

Relationship deal breakers - the toughest things to negotiate with him

Problems in the bedroom are a classic deal breaker when it comes to relationships but there are others too.

Here are five of the most common deal breakers and how you might turn them around into deal makers.

The Deal Breaker No 1:  Different expectations in the bedroom

The most common culprit is when you have different levels of sex drive. We always assume it's going to be the man who wants more sex but very often the tables are turned as in Katie's experience. This causes hurt feelings and misunderstandings

The Deal Maker:

Definitely start positively - think about what ‘works’ when you have sex. For instance, you might not have a lot of sex because of different sex drives, but when you do you're quite experimental trying different positions.

Begin the conversation with, e.g., "we’re so hot when it comes to trying new positions but I know it's frustrating we don't want sex at the same time."

Have this conversation when chilled out - not after you've rowed about sex. Set an optimistic mood with an understanding, confident tone of voice. Ask for his suggestions and definitely suggest a compromise between your desires.

Finally, ensure the partner with lower sex drive isn't overworked, has health issues, or is unhappy in the relationship. And that the partner with a higher drive isn't using sex to boost their confidence because they feel insecure.

The Deal Breaker No. 2Baby makes three

One of the biggest decisions you two will ever make is whether to have a baby. It can be devastating when you don't agree.

The Deal Maker:

As soon as a couple feels they're getting serious they should discuss feelings about starting a family. Best to know early where you stand. That said, if down the line you can't agree first explore why the person that doesn't want a baby feels this way.

Secretly inside do they harbour doubts about whether they'd be a good parent? Or maybe they harbour doubts about your relationship? Time for honesty about such feelings - because once on the table there might be solutions.

Equally, does the baby-loving partner want a baby for the wrong reasons - secretly fearing your relationship's falling apart and a baby might patch things up? Never a good reason to become parents!

Try spending time with friends’/relations’ children so you get a feel for the responsibilities parents face.

After thoroughly discussing feelings about parenthood agree a period of time - maybe six months - in which the ‘B’ (baby) word isn't mentioned. Revisit after this time of ‘no pressure’ and you might find changes in your/their feelings.

The Deal Breaker No. 3: Money, money, money

Money differences are cited in a third of breakups. You love each other, have fun together, and assume you’ll have the same attitudes towards money. Think again!

The Deal Maker:

If you're not living together (and not fully committed) you simply need to decide how you share out spending on dates. You both need to consider the other's earnings to keep things fair.

If living together/committed it's incredibly helpful to look at where your different attitudes come from. Maybe one of you comes from a background where money was tight and you can't bear wastage. Once you understand such things you're less likely to fight and more likely to discuss expenditure.

Think in ink - sit down together and write out your incomings and outgoings. Seeing these in black-and-white can focus your minds on how much extra you have to play with.

Discuss what ‘big ticket’ items need saving for and look at what's left over - discuss how best to share out any extra money between you.

The Deal Breaker No. 4: Whose house?

When you're not living together rows often revolve around who’s flat to stay at. You're both likely to have individual needs that mean staying in your own place makes your life easier.  When it comes time to moving in the big issue becomes where to live.

The Deal Maker:

If you're really into each other - but not living together - the key word is "compromise”. Either agree a straightforward ‘every other night’ rule. Or simplify it and make it an ‘every other fortnight’ thing - where for a fortnight you always stay at one person's place when you've been out together. Then swap over staying at the other partner's place for a fortnight.

When it comes to moving in there are many factors. You might have a gut feeling about one neighbourhood over another - but that's not good enough. Spend the time to get to know both of your favourite neighbourhoods. Get practical and, e.g., time the journeys to each other's work-places from both neighbourhoods.

Ultimately if you're going to work as a couple you need to be able to work these things out.

The Deal Breaker No. 5The in-laws/the outlaws

It's amazing how the parents you love can so annoy your partner - and vice versa. There can be many reasons why this dynamic is tricky.

The Deal Maker:

Discuss why issues have arisen with either or both sets of your parents. When they visit do they impose their opinions and give unwanted advice? You both need to stand up to your own parents and ask them not to butt in. This can be done firmly but tactfully.

Or do you have a problem ‘sharing’ your partner with their parents? Maybe you need to consider being a little more generous about spending time all together. Or sometimes you two see your individual parents on your own.

Finally, beware of criticising your partner's parents. Even if their parents can be a pain they may not want to hear it put that way!

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Wham Bam It's Dr Pam ariving in a couple weeks...

I can't wait for this to happen! My new shows and linked-podcast on Love Sport Radio are coming soon and I get up, close and VERY personal interviews with amazing celebrities as well as special guests including an ex-SAS operative, an ex-racdical Jihadist who now works to de-radicalise jihadists and orgasm experts! And so much more...

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I've a BRILLIANT giveaway for one lucky winner! Check out the details here...

THIS COMP IS NOW FINISHED --- I've teamed up with DNA PR (where it's all about DVDs and Blu-ray) to give one lucky person the chance to win 4 GREAT DVDs & Blu-rays to snuggle up & watch together to keep that Valentine’s vibe running next week!

Simply check my twitter feed @drpamspurr and RT the competition tweet & follow me for a chance to win these 4 classics - Poldark, Brief Encounter, Circle Of Friends, and The Red Shoes!

Winner announced 15th February, good luck! Pam x


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Wham Bam It's Dr Pam is coming soon....

I'm so mega-psyched for my new shows and linked-podcast on Love Sport Radio - I have up, close and VERY personal interviews with amazing celebrities as well as special guests including an ex-SAS operative, an ex-racdical Jihadist who now works to de-radicalise jihadists and orgasm experts! And so much more...

Lots of love, Pam xxx

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Check out my fabulous Valentine's giveaway with the lovely people at Inner Senses...

If you follow me on Twitter and read my blogs you'll know how much I loved trying out some of the wonderful organic aromatherapy range from Inner Senses.

I was blown away by their organic aromatherapy face and body products.

Now I've teamed up with them to give you a fantastic chance to win two of their gorgeous products before Valentine's.

One lucky winner will receive the limited edition Sensual Bath Oil plus the Sensual Body Oil worth £58!

A random winner will be drawn on 7th of February meaning you'll have them in time for a sensual Valentine's!

All you have to do to enter is follow my handle @drpamspurr and their handle @inner_senses on Twitter. And then retweet the competition Tweet that's on my Twitter page.

Good luck!

Lots of love, Pam x

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Have you just come out of a rollercoaster relationship? Tips for you...

In my latest Sun newspaper column I have top tips if you've come out of a passionate, overly-dramatic relationship. The ups and downs can leave you with very little self-esteem.

Check out my tips here...

Look after yourself, Pam x

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Up for some meditative masturbation (or sex)? Read on!

In today's Sun newspaper-online I've written about the stress-busting properties of meditation and masturbation. Check it out – it's good for your health! And your wellbeing...
Have a great weekend, Pam x


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Have you heard of erotic, orgasmic hypnosis? Look into my eyes...

In today's Sun newspaper I've commented on the phenomenon of orgasm-inducing hypnosis.

This has had some great results however you must be careful with a powerful technique like hypnosis.

Here are two women's experiences and my cautionary words.
Look after yourself, Pam x

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The Emotional Eater's Diet

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