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Thanks for checking out my site - the entire point is free self-help with agony aunt-style advice on lots of topics. That said, no article (in full or in part) may be reprinted or used without my premission.
I work as an agony aunt, life and solutions coach, commentator and writer on sex, relationships, and behaviour.
I hope you'll find the articles & tips useful! I've sorted them into the main areas of: sex, love & relationships, parenting, life coaching, and others.
Please get in touch at 'e-mail me' on my homepage - I'd love to answer every e-mail but as I run my site without assistance and work full-time sadly I can't.
In my work as an agony aunt, solutions coach and writer I've written 14 self-help books, my latest are Sex Academy, How to be a Happy Human and The Emotional Eater's Diet. I'm also...Read More »
...an occasional broadcaster doing a bit of radio & TV.
For over three years I've had a fortnightly online sex and love advice column for the Sun newspaper - please do visit the Sun online - a new column goes live every other Friday full of top tips on sex and love.
Recently I did a fun project as a regular celebrity news/relationships commentator on a small satellite show and I pop up on different TV programmes as an agony aunt and social commentator like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Loose Women, Sky News, and the spin off Big Brother programmes.
Since 1997 I've presented radio programmes and was over-the-moon to win a Sony radio award when I was at Heart FM London here I presented shows for five years. I then presented for 4 1/2 years on LBC before going freelance. Since then I've presented and 'guested' on a huge number of BBC regional stations inclduing BBC London, Western regions and Surrey and Sussex.
For two years I had a weekly agony slot on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as a weekly dream analysis slot on George Lamb's previous BBC 6 Music shows.
I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology - my BSc Hons in psychology from a London university, MPhil in psychology from the London teaching hospital I received my PhD from + ad hoc counselling-type and self-improvement/life-coaching courses. I'm a Chartered Research, Teaching & Academic psychologist with the BPS.
I have worked with a number of charities and presently am a patron of Kids in the Middle that advises parents who are breaking up on how to help their children during this difficult time.
It's fun writing a weekly 'Love Doc' page for Miss Independent Woman website - check them out here! And I'm starting a new agony column with the Yummy Mummy website.
I also support the fantastic work of Kevin Healey and to his autism bullying campaign as well as being a founding member of Kids in the Middle - a charity that aims to promote awareness in parents who are breaking up and how this can affect their children.
I'm delighted to support Saying Goodbye a charity supporting and providing national services for those who have suffered a miscarriage, still birth or early years loss.
No two days are the same and I enjoy fresh challenges and always look for new things to do having written self-help columns and articles for many websites and magazines.
I hope you find the site helpful - it's packed with tips and advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates!
Keep happy, keep hopeful, Dr Pam x
p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate (I'm a complete chocoholic) + music including artists/bands - off the top of my head and in a completely random order - Foos, Kings of Leon, Royal Blood, Pulled Apart by Horses, Jack White, Mallory Knox, Bloc Party, XX, The Drums, Wild Beasts, Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Strokes, The Dead Weather, Them Crooked Vultures, Alabama Shakes, Biffy Clyro, Enter Shakari, MGMT, Band of Horses, Arcade Fire, White Lies, Example, Calvin Harris, Mark Ronson, Black Keys, Plan B, MIA, Tinie Tempah, Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, JayZ, plus AWOL Nation, TEED, Wretch 32, Angel, Jay James Picton, Kendrick Lamar, Spector, Wolfgang, Ed Sheeran and Liam Bailey, Ben Howard, plus dubstep Magnetic Man, Modestep, Nero and Katy B + so many more... like poptastic (and sometimes guilty) pleasures like The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Britney, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, Robert Harris, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba, Cambodia, Thailand and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports like water skiing, skiing, paragliding, hiking and I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (not related to Karate).
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Despite there being many potential consequences for ‘rinsers’ there is a burgeoning industry of rinsing that’s developed online. If you don’t know, rinsing is where a woman has a wish list of gifts or cash and a man asks her to do certain things in return for buying them. And of course there are young men who also ‘rinse’.
In today’s Sun newspaper I’ve commented on one woman’s story and her “pay pigs” as she calls the men she rinses.
TODAY’S TIP: Check out the consequences because cash and gifts from strangers are never ‘free’.
Look after yourself, Pamx
With the news that one of the new James Bond beauties in the forthcoming film Spectre is 50 years old, dating agencies have reported a huge jump in men looking for dates from 45 to 55 years old. In my fortnightly Sun newspaper online column I’ve written a little guide for men to ‘catch a cougar’.
There are some fun tips – and do check out the lovely Ann Summers giveaway for two lucky readers.
Happy weekend, Pamx
Who doesn't love a Christmas party? I do! But I hear from so many people who screw up their relationships because they've been flirting with a colleague all year... then they go to the Christmas party and throw lots of alcohol into the mix and they end up having a fling.
I've commented on one woman's story in today's Sun newspaper. There's a few tips to help you avoid this kind of heartbreak.
Take care, Pamx
An early Christmas treat for you – my lovely publisher is giving away two copies of my book The Emotional Eater's Diet! (check my book out on the upper right of my homepage)
All you have to do to be in with a chance to win is follow me on twitter (you can follow me from my homepage) and retweet one of the relevant tweets.
Good luck, the two winners will be informed by my publisher by Wednesday, December 10th.
Take care of yourself, Pamx
Lots of dilemmas in my monthly life coaching and agony aunt column for Magnet magazine. Here’s the link if you want to check out the advice about trying phone sex, a boss that harasses, and an ex who won’t get the message (please note> the link takes a little while to open).
Take care, Pamx
My fortnightly Sun newspaper online column today tackles this. Check out the tips but also there is a fabulous Ann Summers giveaway for two lucky readers.
That’s my aim – spread some happiness for the weekend with a giveaway.
Plus - I have some concerns about men who use sex workers almost exclusively. There’s a place for sex workers and men use them for many different reasons - but I’m always concerned when someone uses them exclusively. How does such a man relate to real women when he decides he wants a relationship?
I’ve commented on one man’s story in today’s Sun.
TODAY’S TIP: If you’re that rare man who believes they never want to have a relationship with a woman - and you do have a sex drive - there’s nothing wrong with paying sex workers as long as you practice safer sex and do it all safely.
But if you think you might want to have a relationship at some point then you need to think carefully about how very different having a full relationship and sex life is with a woman compared to the sex workers you pay to fulfil your needs.
It’s a very naive man who doesn’t think their behaviour towards sex workers - they’re selling a commodity, he’s buying it - will ever impact on the way they treat women generally.
Take care of yourself, Pamx
It doesn't matter if you're American or not – use Thanksgiving as a time to take a moment and think of all your thankful for – a particular friend, a supportive family member, a colleague who helps you out, the partner who's there for you.
Give thanks and let them know you appreciate them, much love, Pamx
The Shirley Valentine syndrome is far more common than you’d think and in today’s Sun newspaper I’ve commented on one woman’s story. She had her heart broken and her bank balance destroyed by her young, Turkish toyboy.
TODAY’S TIP: It’s crucial whether you meet someone online, on holiday - or at your local pub - that until you really know and trust them you don’t loan or give them money. You may desperately want to help out because you think you’re falling in love (and your knickers are on fire with lust) but it’d be horrible to discover they only wanted your cash.
Be of yourself, Pamx
Today through Wednesday on twitter you have a chance of winning a fabulous Twenty One Vibrating 'Diamond' worth £49.95. All you have to do is retweet my competition tweet on twitter and follow me on twitter for a chance to win.
The lovely people at Bijoux Indiscret will be choosing the winner on Wednesday late afternoon November 26th. Good luck! This is just in time for Christmas and would be the perfect sexy gift for yourself or to give someone special.
Love from me xx
In today’s Sun newspaper I’ve commented on a terrible story about betrayal. A woman’s husband and friend had an affair and deceived her in the most terrible way.
TODAY’S TIP: Think before you slip into an affair – the consequences can be horrible for so many people including any children the couple may have.
I simply can’t fathom the selfishness of so many people. If only they’d think about the consequences then they might not cheat in the first place.
Take care of your relationship, Pamx
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!