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About Me

Thanks for checking out my site - the entire point is free self-help with agony aunt-style advice on lots of topics. That said, no article (in full or in part) may be reprinted or used without my premission.

I work as an agony aunt, life and solutions coach, commentator and writer on sex, relationships, and behaviour.

I hope you'll find the articles & tips useful! I've sorted them into the main areas of: sex, love & relationships, parenting, life coaching, and others.

Please get in touch at 'e-mail me' on my homepage - I'd love to answer every e-mail but as I run my site without assistance and work full-time sadly I can't.

In my work as an agony aunt, solutions coach and writer I've written 14 self-help books, my latest are Sex Academy, How to be a Happy Human and The Emotional Eater's Diet. I'm also...

Read More » occasional broadcaster doing a bit of radio & TV.

For over three years I've had a fortnightly online sex and love advice column for the Sun newspaper - please do visit the Sun online - a new column goes live every other Friday full of top tips on sex and love.

Recently I did a fun project as a regular celebrity news/relationships commentator on a small satellite show and I pop up on different TV programmes as an agony aunt and social commentator like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Loose Women, Sky News, and the spin off Big Brother programmes.

Since 1997 I've presented radio programmes and was over-the-moon to win a Sony radio award when I was at Heart FM London here I presented shows for five years. I then presented for 4 1/2 years on LBC before going freelance. Since then I've presented and 'guested' on a huge number of BBC regional stations inclduing BBC London, Western regions and Surrey and Sussex.

For two years I had a weekly agony slot on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as a weekly dream analysis slot on George Lamb's previous BBC 6 Music shows.

I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology - my BSc Hons in psychology from a London university, MPhil in psychology from the London teaching hospital I received my PhD from + ad hoc counselling-type and self-improvement/life-coaching courses. I'm a Chartered Research, Teaching & Academic psychologist with the BPS.

I have worked with a number of charities and presently am a patron of Kids in the Middle that advises parents who are breaking up on how to help their children during this difficult time.

It's fun writing a weekly 'Love Doc' page for Miss Independent Woman website - check them out here! And I'm starting a new agony column with the Yummy Mummy website.

I also support the fantastic work of Kevin Healey and to his autism bullying campaign as well as being a founding member of Kids in the Middle - a charity that aims to promote awareness in parents who are breaking up and how this can affect their children.

I'm delighted to support Saying Goodbye a  charity supporting and providing national services for those who have suffered a miscarriage, still birth or early years loss. 

No two days are the same and I enjoy fresh challenges and always look for new things to do having written self-help columns and articles for many websites and magazines.

I hope you find the site helpful - it's packed with tips and advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates!

Keep happy, keep hopeful, Dr Pam x

p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate (I'm a complete chocoholic) + music including artists/bands - off the top of my head  and in a completely random order - Foos, Kings of Leon, Royal Blood, Pulled Apart by Horses, Jack White, Mallory Knox, Bloc Party, XX, The Drums, Wild Beasts, Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Strokes, The Dead Weather, Them Crooked Vultures, Alabama Shakes, Biffy Clyro, Enter Shakari, MGMT, Band of Horses, Arcade Fire, White Lies, Example, Calvin Harris, Mark Ronson, Black Keys, Plan B, MIA, Tinie Tempah, Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, JayZ, plus AWOL Nation, TEED, Wretch 32, Angel, Jay James Picton, Kendrick Lamar, Spector, Wolfgang, Ed Sheeran and Liam Bailey, Ben Howard, plus dubstep Magnetic Man, Modestep, Nero and Katy B + so many more... like poptastic (and sometimes guilty) pleasures like The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Britney, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, Robert Harris, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba, Cambodia, Thailand and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports like water skiing, skiing, paragliding, hiking and I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (not related to Karate).


I pop up on different TV programmes like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Big Brother's Little Brother, GMTV, Loose Women and others. I've presented radio programmes since 1997 and won a Sony radio award when I was at Heart 106.2 FM. Think that's the only award I've ever won - I'm not counting a fashion award I won in high school, for creating an entire outfit out of purple, as quite frankly my fashion sense nowadays could be politely described as "eclectic".
I presently do two weekly radio slots - have been doing Wednesdays on George Lamb's BBC 6 Music show for months, but when he moves to weekends in December I'll be doing contributions to his new shows. Tuesdays on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as lots of freelancing on various stations - popping up weekly on stations around the country.
I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology + counselling-type areas.
No two days are the same as quite frankly I have a low boredom threshold - I need fresh challenges and I'm always looking for new things to do.
I write about love, sex, life - and even celebrities' behaviour - for newspapers like The Express, The Sun, The Times and others, magazines like Love it! and Scarlet plus the 'glossies' like Cosmo, Glamour, Red, Now, More, and so on. Check out my new weekly column on and my regular contributions to, as well as the, Men's Health, Orange and GQ websites amongst others. 
I hope you find the site super helpful - it's packed with advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates like the little sex tip films I plan plus other interesting things!
Keep happy, Dr Pam x 
p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate + music including artists/bands (off the top of my head) from Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, Kings of Leon, Bloc Party, Wild Beast (v happy to see them on Jools Holland as have never caught them live), Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Foo Fighters, and so many more to pop like my guilty pleasures of The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports - I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (funny enough not related to Karate). And my biggest loves of all are my hubby and two children.
My 'hates' include...well, I might just keep those to myself!



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The 10 top turnoffs to avoid when you want to turn someone on! Plus GIVEAWAY…


Who hasn’t seen the Madonna clip where she gives Drake the surprise kiss of his life? I think Madonna's amazing but this wasn’t her best moment.

In my Sun newspaper online column today I’ve listed the 10 top turn offs that many have confided kills the moment.

Hope the tips help you the next time you get lucky.

Plus there’s a fabulous giveaway for two lucky readers from the lovely people at Ann Summers.

Always aim to help you have a happy weekend J Pamx

Her daughter’s Godmother betrayed her…


As you know love cheats get a big thumbs-down from me. There is always a better way to sort out unhappiness in a  relationship. You don't do it by going off and trying to find happiness behind your partner’s back.

In today’s Sun newspaper I’ve commented on one sad and sorry tale. If you’ve been betrayed recently maybe it will resonate with you.

Look after yourself, Pamx

Does your partner's ex use their children to control your partner...


Sorry it's taken me a while to post a new dilemma - work's been far too busy. Thanks for all your questions. I've posted a dilemma that's all too frequent.

Check out this woman's situation on my homepage at dilemma of the week. She's living with her partner but isn't allowed to spend time with his children from his previous relationship.

It's a tough one but can be overcome, take care, Pamx

He does all the work in bed!


Sometimes people end up doing all the work in bed because the other person hasn't a clue where to start.

Inwardly the partner making the effort thinks: "I wish they'd take the lead, I wish they'd show me what they like," and all those kinds of things. Frustrating!

In my Miss Independent Woman Magazine column I've answered one woman's question about this today. Check it if you're shy of letting go in the bedroom.

Happy Friday, Pamx 

The holiday jobs that can end in disaster…


It seems a blast when you bag a holiday destination job like looking after guests in a serious party zone in Ibiza. Obviously it’s lots of fun – the sun, sea and of course sangria.

The problem is when does the party end? In today’s Sun newspaper I’ve commented on some ‘Seasonnaires’ as they’re called. For many, the holiday dream job can become a nightmare. 

Check it out and be aware of long term consequences if you’re going to a holiday destination for work this summer.

Enjoy it, have a blast, but take care at the same time, Pamx

Are you struggling with sexual desire? Let me tell you about Lady Prelox…


I recently came across a new product for female desire and pleasure called Lady Prelox. While we often hear stories of women enjoying their sex lives, others need a little boost.

I was surprised to learn that Lady Prelox is 100 per cent natural. The ingredients work together to improve blood flow and reduce tiredness, helping to give you the desire for sex, even after a busy day at work.

Does it work? More than 200 women have tried it in clinical studies and the results have been incredible. Better orgasms, less pain and discomfort during sex, more lubrication and increased libido are just some of the benefits women have reported.

Men have long benefited from a 'blue pill' to boost their desire. Lady Prelox is different. It is a daily supplement to improve sexual well-being.

I’ve always had good levels of sexual desire but Lady Prelox invited me to try it. Although I didn’t need sexual desire boosted, I definitely felt energised.

I’m now consulting to Lady Prelox about sex and relationships and suggest you take a look at their site here for full information or follow @LadyPrelox. And if you decide to try it, let me know what you think. You can drop me an email on my homepage. 

If you’ve read any of my articles about sex and relationships you’ll know I always advocate a holistic approach to problems with sexual desire. My articles often highlight the key factors everyone should consider when they just don’t feel in the mood anymore. The first is your relationship – if you and your partner argue a lot, don’t spend much time together, etc., you won’t be in the mood anyway.

Or if you’re managing medical issues like diabetes it can definitely dampen down desire. Also any medication you’ve been put on may well affect sexual interest.

I don’t want you to forget lifestyle choices – if you’re working 24/7, or drinking to excess, not getting enough sleep, even smoking – those things definitely affect sexual desire.

Look after yourself at each level of your life. And if you’re concerned about your health in any way please talk to your doctor.

Take care of yourself, Pam x

Dilemmas, dilemmas – from sex parties to a colleague who turns the air blue...


It's that time the month and my Magnet magazine life coaching column is out. Today I tackle four very different dilemmas - from sex parties to a sweary colleague. If one touches your life I hope the tips help.

A quick reminder that the Magnet page takes a minute to load.

Take care of yourself, Pamx

Calling all parents who want to reconnect in the bedroom…


In my life coaching and agony column for Yummy Mummy Beauty I’ve tackled one woman’s dilemma about reconnecting sexually with her husband. She feels like it’s the “first time” again.

If you’re in this situation – and you could be reconnecting over something else, even after a separation or something like that – I hope the tips helpful.

Keep loved up, Pamx

Advice for your new relationship plus gorgeous GIVEAWAY…


Pictured recently in the Sun newspaper, Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift couldn’t hide the sexual chemistry that sparkled between them. It’s obvious they have a real attraction but only time will tell if it fizzles out as quickly as it started.

In my Sun newspaper online column today I have tips for making sure you get what you want in the bedroom with your new lover. You’ll see the statistic of how few people actually ask for what they want.

This is the perfect time though - no faking, no fudging, there are ways to get great sex from the start.

Plus the lovely people at Ann Summers have given me two fabulous limited-edition vibrators for two lucky readers.

A happy weekend guaranteed if you’re in a new relationship - plus good luck with the giveaway!

Take care, Pamx

Starting her attacker on Facebook gave her the courage to report the sexual assault...


There's a traumatic story in today's Sun newspaper there about one woman who was attacked and eventually reported the sexual assault to the police. In my comment and advice I urge anyone to get support and report any sexual assault.

I hope her story is helpful to you and gives you courage if you are in this situation.

Take care of yourself, Pamx


The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!

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Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!

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How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.

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Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!

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Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.

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Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.

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The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

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The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

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Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!

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Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.

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Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'

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Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!

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