Bullying at work, in brief…
I struggle to last very long before ejaculating. I'd like to last longer as I think the wife is getting bored now cause of it. Can you please recommend a way of helping me to last longer to make sex good for us both please?
Yes Adam, here are tips from my Sun newspaper column...
Guys, here are seven steps to slow yourself down for red hot sex
Men love being quick at the weekly shop, finishing DIY, and on the pitch for Sunday morning footie. But one thing’s certain, they don’t like being quick when it comes to sex.
Unfortunately when sex is on the agenda, at any given time about 20% of men worry, “Oh no, I can’t last as long as I should!” While wives and girlfriends think, “Is that it? What about me?”
They both know what the other’s thinking but because of his potential insecurities, do they discuss it? Research says no. Only about 26% of couples are honest about his premature ejaculation, or PE.
I have great news if you don’t want sex like a wild west shoot out…quick on the draw. No more thinking about your overdraft or your team’s own goal to slow you down.
And no more trying the painful ‘squeeze technique’ on the head of the penis, to control ejaculation. (I doubt anyone's advice who still recommends this technique!)
Follow these seven steps to slow down plus have more powerful orgasms – bonus!
Go Slow Tip No. 1: Begin at the beginning –
You need to know how your body works. So time to think of masturbation as a training tool, not quick sexual relief.
Start flying solo regularly. But when you do, start noticing your ‘point of no return’. That’s the point where nothing, not even a police raid, will stop you climaxing.
Start identifying that feeling and you’re ready for step two.
Go Slow Tip No. 2: Easy now guys –
Once you know that point, as you come towards it, stop pleasuring yourself. Let that feeling of intense excitement ease off. This is when you start gaining control.
Begin to self-pleasure again, but try easing off yet again. Give yourself a pat on the back as you manage to gain control of your sexual response.
Go Slow Tip No. 3: Get your squeeze on –
Next, exercise the muscles you use to stop yourself ‘spending a penny’ - the pelvic floor muscles.
Try squeezing them so your manhood twitches a bit. Strengthen these and it helps when you want to prevent ejaculation. Start with 10 repetitions, squeezing for a few seconds. Do this twice daily building to 20 reps.
After a time they help your control and you have stronger orgasms.
Go Slow Tip No.4: Share the good news with her –
You care about her, want to please her, so let her know you’re building strength and control. Tell her you’ll try those squeezes during full sex. Ask if she feels them. Many women love these pulsations inside them.
Let her know that once inside, you’ll squeeze/pulsate and even stop thrusting to re-gain control.
Go Slow Tip No. 5: Have a foreplay feast –
While you’re learning to slow down become the ‘King of foreplay’. Tell her you’ll do anything to please her. Ask what her secret fantasies are. If she feels shy, have her lie back as you drizzle massage oil down her body.
Take your time sensually rubbing it in, tweak her nipples gently, stroke down to her clitoral zone.
Once there, build her sexual tension. Run your fingertips around this highly sensitive area. Stroke back and forth across her pubic bone, a few inches below her tummy button. Ask again what else you can do.
Go Slow Tip No. 6: Keep focused –
With practice during foreplay you’ll learn to focus your mind completely on her pleasure – not on what your manhood is doing - like feeling aroused!
Bring your mind back to what she’s asking for, how she responds, etc., so you’re not over-aroused by the time you have full sex.
Go Slow Tip No. 7: Do my ‘tea towel test’ –
Keep ‘the stallion’, ‘Mr Happy’, ‘the master’ (whatever you call your manhood) strong and under control with my fun ‘tea towel test’. Once erect during self-pleasure, pop a tea towel over him and bob it up and down. Working out ‘the master’ like this means you’ll master your ED.
Just don’t put the tea towel back in the drawer – put it in the wash!
Finally, see your GP to rule out any potential medical causes for your ‘rapid response’ style of sex.
Dr Pam’s Position: Reverse Missionary
When trying to slow down it’s an excellent idea to put her in charge. He lies on his back while she lies comfortably on top of him. She moves slowly to stay in control.
Ladies first – she builds to full climax and then he concentrates on his release.
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