40+ women will recognise mirror angst "syndrome" where they become acutely aware and overly...
Dear Dr Pam,
My fiance always wants sex in the morning whereas I prefer it in the evening. It means I'm often late for work, but also unsatisfied when he goes straight to sleep at night. It doesn't seem fair that I'm the one that always compromises - what can I do? And please don’t tell me that will change with time as we’ve been together for three years. Thanks for your help! Jackiexxx
It's not unusual for women to have a sexual peak in the evening and men to have more sexual desire in the morning (the big giveaway is their "morning tumescence") - what was mother-nature thinking?!
Of course it seems unfair that you're the only one to compromise. After all you both want sex so why should it be only a.m. or p.m for that matter?
As this is been going on for three years I’m not surprised you sound annoyed by the situation. Your pent-up sexual frustration has to come out somewhere and I’m pretty surprised you haven’t mentioned any arguments over this issue. Sexual differences like this often cause rows, heated ones too due to the frustration.
There are various things you can do, though. I think a good starting point is creating desire in him. Give him a great, big, sexy kiss in the morning and tell him there's loads more coming in the evening. Do this as you’re getting out of bed and then get ready for work. No lingering or foreplay, this’ll keep him wanting more.
Don't be mean about it, but be playful with it, and let him know you want his sexual tension to mount during the day and this’ll give you both fireworks at night.
During the day continue the teasing with some flirty messages. Make them as sexy as you feel comfortable with!
Once he sees that a little night-time sex has all sorts of benefits, like feeling all cuddly when you go off to sleep plus giving you a better night's sleep, he may just see the “error” of his ways.
Use the weekend to sex-periment and have some afternoon, early evening, lunchtime, late morning, etc., "delight". Whenever the mood takes you turn on the flirting. This is definitely a good way to keep things fresh between you and satisfy both your needs.
I hope this works as he does need to stop being so selfish about this. And if he shows you he can start compromising, then sometimes return the favour and set your alarm 15 minutes early for some first thing in the morning fun.
Good luck, Pamx
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