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Bullying at work, in brief…

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Some Psychology of High Heels

Thoughts on why women love TV doctors!

Why men and women snoop on each other!

Preventing Christmas party disasters!

You might feel the same with PMT as going through a breakup!

Huge and heavy handbags reflect the modern woman's psyche

Use your body language!

A few thoughts on self harm

A few thoughts on body image

Some Thoughts on Hiding Grief and Loss

QUIZ: How Superstitious Are You?

Coping With The So Very Modern Stress Of Technology!

QUIZ: What's Your "Mental Weight"? how to eat healthily!

The Bluffer’s Guide To Wine Tasting

Seven Secrets Of A Winning Attitude

QUIZ: What Type of Gift Giver Are You?

Are Bullies Taking Over? Plus tips if you bullied!

QUIZ: Are you OTT with OCD?

QUIZ: Sort Out the She-Devil in You (anger and stress advice)

Secrets Between Your Sheets - what your sleep positions mean!

Your height and implications for your life and personality

What Your Wallet Or Pocketbook Reveals About You!

OCD SOS: Help for your obsessive and compulsive behaviour!

Don't Take A Gamble With Gambling Online

Banish Panic Attacks

QUIZ: Don't Let Shyness Spoil Your Life!

How To Get A Heavenly Night’s Sleep

QUIZ: Are You A Spendaholic?

Spring Clean Your Life!

Stop Worrying And Start Living!

Unique Ways To Improve Your Intuition!

Dinner Party Gossip - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!

The Definitive Guide to Spotting Lying & Dishonesty

Common Embarrassing Situations - And How To Negotiate Them!

Don't Bet On Gambling - It's A Mug's Game!

Give up your seat for pregnant women!

QUIZ: Gossip Girls - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly about Gossip

Make the most of those first few moments when you meet someone

What Your Hair Colour Tells People About Your Personality!

Make the most out of managing staff

Colour Therapy For Your Life!

The Good Complaining Guide

Secrets & Lies - The Body Language of Dishonesty


OCD SOS: Help for your obsessive and compulsive behaviour!


OCD Should Come With A Health Warning! 

Here's help for your obsessive and compulsive behaviour

Do you get an overwhelming urge to check you've locked the front door properly or to repeatedly scrub away “germs”? On occasion everyone worries about such things. But when they become obsessions and you feel compelled to act, that's obsessive-compulsive disorder - OCD.


Roughly 3-4% of the population has full-blown OCD. It causes emotional distress including depression, interfering with a sufferer’s life but also there are health implications. Recently I met a woman whose repeated, vigorous hand-washing led to terrible eczema. Other cases include people making themselves ill by taking huge levels of vitamins convinced they’ll get some terrible disease if they don't and compulsive use of cleaning fluids setting off asthma.


What is OCD? It’s a fear-based disorder where the person can’t resist their obsessions and compulsions. An obsession is an intrusive and repetitive thought. The content varies from worrying about something (like contracting germs) to fearing you'll do something “bad” (e.g. collapse in public).


A compulsion is repetitive behaviour you feel compelled to do to ward-off obsessive thoughts. So, for example, if you wash your hands five times (the compulsive behaviour) your obsessions (the thoughts) about germs are banished. If an OCD sufferer can’t do their ritual or behaviour it causes them distress and even their obsessions alone are disturbing.


Here Are Seven Steps To Solve Your OCD:


Step 1 - Explore where your OCD comes from being fuelled by fear/anxiety. Perhaps your parent had OCD and you learnt life’s frightening and you “control” the fear with certain behaviours. Or you experienced a trauma and OCD became your way of “coping” in the aftermath. Maybe it’s the way you react when demands mount at work/home. Understanding gives you more power and a springboard for action.


Step 2 - Keep an OCD diary for one week. Make it simple - mark a ‘tick’ for each obsessive thought and a ‘cross’ for each compulsive behaviour. Briefly note any trigger that sets off the thought/behaviour.


Step 3 - Examine your diary for patterns. Can you determine what sets you off? For example, is it stress when getting ready for work that leaves you fretful so you re-check locks? On a separate sheet write down your main OCD triggers (e.g., morning routine before work), your obsessions/compulsive responses, and relevant goals, e.g., to stop re-checking locks.


Step 4 - Before implementing strategies reframe your thinking. Accept that OCD is NOT a “coping” strategy. You may have seen it as your coping mechanism, your saviour even! But it's the opposite, preventing you from learning positive coping strategies. Headline your piece of paper from Step 3 with the fact "My OCD is not a coping strategy!" Hold this thought.


Step 5 - Now it’s time to enlist loved ones in your action plan. Their support’s vital in resisting your OCD. Explain clearly to them what you've identified through your diary and how you’re planning to change this. Tell them you need support in resisting OCD.


Step 6 - Taking action requires a number of elements. * Select your first goal. For example, if you wash your hands five times whenever you touch food the goal is to resist and wash four times in the first instance, then three times, etc. * As you resist the urge to wash again, use deep breathing to relax your body. * Also use continual communication with a loved one about your feelings of fear. Report to them out loud how you’re feeling resisting that fifth hand-washing. * Now affirm to yourself that you’ve coped despite not carrying out your compulsive behaviour. * Give yourself loads of praise for your resistance and acknowledge that setting goals and good communication are positive coping strategies.


Step 7 - Continue to monitor your goals and stress levels. For example, you might’ve had half-a-dozen key rituals to tackle - one at a time - building your coping-confidence. Keep an open dialogue with loved ones about your successes and your failures. Don't become secretive about OCD thoughts and behaviours that you fail to resist. Carry on being open-minded to implementing real coping strategies like talking about difficulties and looking for solutions to the stresses we all face.


For additional help:


The OCD centre - 0845-226-3110


Published in The Express Newspaper


THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one

I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one is available to preorder on Amazon.

I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.

“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author


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The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!

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Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!

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How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.

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Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!

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Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.

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Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.

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The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

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The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

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Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!

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Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.

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Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'

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Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!

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