Hot Off the Press:

Bullying at work, in brief…

It’s national...


Some Psychology of High Heels

Thoughts on why women love TV doctors!

Why men and women snoop on each other!

Preventing Christmas party disasters!

You might feel the same with PMT as going through a breakup!

Huge and heavy handbags reflect the modern woman's psyche

Use your body language!

A few thoughts on self harm

A few thoughts on body image

Some Thoughts on Hiding Grief and Loss

QUIZ: How Superstitious Are You?

Coping With The So Very Modern Stress Of Technology!

QUIZ: What's Your "Mental Weight"? how to eat healthily!

The Bluffer’s Guide To Wine Tasting

Seven Secrets Of A Winning Attitude

QUIZ: What Type of Gift Giver Are You?

Are Bullies Taking Over? Plus tips if you bullied!

QUIZ: Are you OTT with OCD?

QUIZ: Sort Out the She-Devil in You (anger and stress advice)

Secrets Between Your Sheets - what your sleep positions mean!

Your height and implications for your life and personality

What Your Wallet Or Pocketbook Reveals About You!

OCD SOS: Help for your obsessive and compulsive behaviour!

Don't Take A Gamble With Gambling Online

Banish Panic Attacks

QUIZ: Don't Let Shyness Spoil Your Life!

How To Get A Heavenly Night’s Sleep

QUIZ: Are You A Spendaholic?

Spring Clean Your Life!

Stop Worrying And Start Living!

Unique Ways To Improve Your Intuition!

Dinner Party Gossip - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!

The Definitive Guide to Spotting Lying & Dishonesty

Common Embarrassing Situations - And How To Negotiate Them!

Don't Bet On Gambling - It's A Mug's Game!

Give up your seat for pregnant women!

QUIZ: Gossip Girls - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly about Gossip

Make the most of those first few moments when you meet someone

What Your Hair Colour Tells People About Your Personality!

Make the most out of managing staff

Colour Therapy For Your Life!

The Good Complaining Guide

Secrets & Lies - The Body Language of Dishonesty


Banish Panic Attacks


Stop Panic In Its Tracks –

Here’s Help for You to Face Your Fears And Banish Panic Attacks


A recent National Geographic survey found that although we don't live in a country populated by deadly creepy-crawlies, 20% of us fear spiders, 19.7% fear snakes, and many fear other creatures like crocodiles unlikely to crawl across our paths.


Why fear such creatures when they're not a threat? Evolutionary psychology suggests these fears evolved to protect our ancient ancestors and are buried deep in our psyche. Once rational fears established a "fight or flight" response in ancient people where they'd either face-and-fight that sabre-toothed tiger, or flee if there was an escape route.


We may not have to fend off wild creatures but fearful responses are increasing to aspects of modern life, too, like using technology or giving a work presentation. These fear responses range from classic phobias (eg, acrophobia - fear of heights) and generalised anxiety, to panic attacks - probably the most disturbing fear-based experience of all. Many are irrational but others are a response to increasing demands on our time.


It's estimated around 18% of the UK population experience one or more of these fear responses. These are no laughing matter when you consider the story of Brenda Sharpe, 67, who recently died when she crashed her car having spotted a spider dangling above her. I increasingly see such panic and panic attacks in otherwise able people. Make no mistake, our modern life is conducive to overwhelming people, leaving them stressed, fearful and panicked.


Our "Flight Or Fight" Response Fails In Modern Life

Why wouldn’t our flight-or-fight response continue to protect us in modern life? Because many feel trapped by the way they live. They have nowhere to "flee", e.g., there’s no escaping mobiles, e-mail and Blackberries. People feel obliged to keep them on 24/7. We’re also not supposed to "fight". Pistols drawn at dawn with your over-demanding manager? It wouldn't happen! This leaves many feeling helpless. That's when fears, that were once faced or fled from, override their ability to cope and they panic.


Many self-reliant types attempt to stifle fears (e.g., deadlines, work-overload, etc.). But unless they change aspects of their live styles causing them anxiety, these fears burst forth in the shape of panic attacks with the right trigger. 


What Finally Triggers A Panic Attack?

When you've been stifling worries and stress there are a number of triggers for panic attacks. Common triggers include: feeling under-prepared for a business presentation, being short of time, having to rush between meetings, feeling behind at work, and taking on too many responsibilities. Negative lifestyle choices like too much caffeine, eating processed foods high in salt and/or sugar, and excess alcohol intake are also triggers. Others include, e.g., arguing with a colleague, friend or loved one, bereavement, relationship breakdown, not having time off, and having to juggle too many things like the demands of career and children that are often incompatible.


Signs And Symptoms Of A Panic Attack –

Symptoms vary widely between people and from one attack to another. Symptoms include a clamping or tightening sensation across the chest, shortness of breath, a fluttering sensation and/or palpitations of the heart, feeling dizzy, having sweaty palms, dry mouth, shaking, general anxiety, fearfulness and finding it hard to think clearly. In an extreme panic attack you may experience a feeling of being detached from reality or disorientation.


You might anticipate a panic attack as you identify the symptoms building. But what's daunting about many attacks is they suddenly strike as if from "nowhere". Because certain symptoms of panic attack may also indicate other issues like heartburn or more seriously, heart problems, you should see your GP about any that worry you.


Five Point Panic Plan -

Unfortunately as the symptoms build with an attack so too your panic grows. This induces a vicious cycle bringing on a more intense attack. Try these five points if finding yourself in the middle of an attack.

1/ Remove your self from any crowded conditions.

2/ Sit down if at all possible and steady your self.

3/ Regain control of your breathing by inhaling slowly to the count of five and exhaling slowly to the count of five.

4/ Sip water slowly (carry a water bottle with you).

5/ Distract yourself, e.g., phone a friend or think about something unrelated to your day like a calming holiday memory.


Over the long term lifestyle changes are necessary to prevent attacks. It's no good simply "dealing with" an attack when it occurs. Yes, a few are lucky and only ever have one attack. Once they start, if you don't make relevant changes to overcome them, they tend to continue. It's important to re-evaluate the following areas of your life.

 * General time management - are you always time-short? Start saying No to extra responsibilities and worry less about getting further ahead at work, instead enjoy a better quality of life.

 * Work and family - discuss with your manager how to streamline work and be more efficient. At home delegate chores and let any perfectionist tendencies go. Face conflict head on calmly. Resist sweeping things under the carpet.

 * Your relationships - are they unhappy or relegated to second place? Time to nurture them, as that’s a protective factor against future attacks.

 * Overall health - if you're eating on the run, drinking to relieve stress, smoking and not exercising, such things exacerbate attacks.

 * Leisure time - just as loving relationships improve your ability to prevent attacks so too does giving yourself time to enjoy a book, a walk, a film, etc.

 * Relaxation and breathing techniques - as attacks involve many physical symptoms it's important to learn to relax major muscle groups and breathe in a controlled fashion. Practise daily sitting still, warm and comfortably. In turn, tense and then relax every major muscle group. Meditate on your breathing making it measured and relaxed.


Ultimately you can get help and help yourself – you don’t have to live a life of fear and panic.


Useful contacts:

No Panic Organisation Telephone - 0808-808-0545; Website

National Phobics Society - 0870-122-2325; Website


Published in The Express Newspaper


THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one

I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one is available to preorder on Amazon.

I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.

“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author


Buy Now on:

The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!

Buy Now on:

Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!

Buy Now on:

How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.

Buy Now on:

Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!

Buy Now on:

Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.

Buy Now on:

Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.

Buy Now on:

The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

Buy Now on:

The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

Buy Now on:

Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!

Buy Now on:

Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.

Buy Now on:

Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'

Buy Now on:

Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!

Buy Now on: