Squaring up to Your Shynes...
If you suffer with shyness...
Are You A Spendaholic?
Here's a quiz I devised to see if you're spending will get you into trouble
Yet another recent report has found that Britons are being crushed by ever more debt compared to our European counterparts. It's not only bargains that people can’t seem to resist but sales of luxury items are on the up too.
With spending out of control and many living on credit it's time to explore your own spending habits. Take my quick quiz to identify whether you have spendaholic tendencies:
1/ Are you tempted by bargain offers (bogofs) like 3-for-2s?
A/ Sometimes, when I don't even need them
B/ Only if I need them
2/ Have you kept purchases secret from a loved one?
3/ Do you juggle credit cards?
C/ Always juggling
4/ Do you go to sales even if you don't need anything?
A/ If I'm in the mood for browsing
B/ Wouldn't waste my time
C/ Yes, can’t resist
5/ Do you pay credit card bills in full each month?
A/ Would do if possible
C/ In my dreams
6/ Do you live by a budget?
A/ I try to stick to one
B/ Yes definitely
C/ I wish
7/ How many unworn/used purchases made in the last year?
8/ Do you ever borrow money from friends/family?
A/ Once or twice
C/ Frequently, they see me coming
9/ Do you have any savings scheme/plan?
A/ Yes but I dip into it
C/ Never manage to save
10/ Is there something you can’t resist buying, e.g. shoes, bags?
A/ One such thing
C/ Yes many tempting things
You're treading a tightrope that you may fall from if you don't keep a careful eye on your spending habits. Although the sensible part of you tries to keep your house in order, your spendaholic tendencies jeopardise that. Follow the relevant advice below for "Big Spenders".
You're careful, cautious and aware of the importance of sticking to a budget. You realise things like "bogofs" aren’t necessarily a savings, e.g., if you buy 3-for-2 packets of mince and some goes off that's a waste! My only warning is don't become a tightwad. Yes, it's important not to run into financial trouble but you should enjoy the occasional luxury too.
Mainly Cs - Hey Big Spender!
It’s all spend, spend, spend with you! Constantly in trouble through your spending habits you never seem to learn. Shimmering sale signs hypnotise you with their "come to me" messages. You find it hard to resist certain things that strike right to the core of your desires. You undoubtedly have things you've never worn and other little temptations that have never been opened or used.
Seven Steps To Stop Your Spending:
1/ Be utterly honest in exploring the reasons why you overspend. There are many reasons why people become Spendaholics. But usually they have one common strand to their lives - they feel anxious, stressed, unloved and empty - and they seek to fill this vast emotional hole inside them self by spending. Understand the pain you're in and you can begin to control negative impulses.
2/ Draw up a full list of your outgoings and total these. Include all outgoings over a typical week plus occasional emergency items or necessities. Now compare them to your income. What's the difference between the two figures?
3/ On the basis of that devise a weekly budget to live on. You’re definitely going to have to cut back and putting necessities first will help you prioritise.
4/ Identify your own personal "hot spots" that trigger spending. For example, does arguing with your partner send you running to the shops? Face these hot spots head-on rather than letting them upset you. Also research shows that even something as basic as getting a good night's sleep decreases your chances of overspending. Get practical and avoid shopping when stressed, tired, unhappy, etc., and less able to make good judgements. Use practical measures to prevent overspending like avoiding walking past the shops you find irresistible.
5/ Stop ignoring letters from your creditors and get in touch with them NOW. Show them your budget and make arrangements to pay back what you can.
6/ Cut up your credit cards and resist offers for new ones. Don't even open those glossy letters that come through your postbox offering the newest credit cards!
7/ Ask a trusted friend or family member to become your “crisis buddy”. Agree that you'll ring them when you feel tempted to go on a shopping spree. They can help talk you down from unnecessary spending.
It's up to you to take control of your spending. Right now your impulses are controlling your better judgement. Understand and harness those, as well as taking the suggested practical steps and you can be in charge - rather than charging everything to your credit card that’s already in melt-down!
Citizens Advice Bureau - www.citizensadvice.org.uk
Consumer Credit Counselling Service - 0800-138-1111
Published in the Express Newspaper
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!