Bullying at work, in brief…
Give Your Mind And Soul A Spring Detox! (Spring Clean Your Life!)
Spring officially starts in late March each year and at time you might be ready to freshen up your life after the grey winter months.
But you can use this advice anytime!
Spring is a time of growth and change where our natural body bio-rhythms are ready for new challenges. Most people find their energy returning with the better weather making this the perfect time to put that extra energy to good use. Once you’re feeling mentally refreshed and emotionally up-lifted you’ll undoubtedly experience positive benefits for your overall health.
Here are five critical areas for you to start your spring-detox with today.
Switch your brain-power back on!
Brain research shows you need to challenge your brain from time-to-time to keep it in tip-top condition and prevent future problems like Alzheimer's. What better time than now, when you've been hibernating over the winter, to kick-start it? Here are lots of everyday strategies to challenge your brain:
ü Stop being lazy with things like phone numbers. Instead memorise them before you put them into your mobile. Resist grabbing that calculator to do simple sums and do mental math instead.
ü Your daily routine should include doing a puzzle. Take "five" to do either a crossword or Suduko-type puzzle.
ü Meditate to classical music. Studies show that classical music, particularly Mozart, stimulates the brain.
ü Follow a recipe rather than buying prepared dishes. Not only is this more healthy but it forces you to multi-task.
ü Going abroad this summer? Learn useful phrases in the language of a country you’re visiting. All you need is a basic phrase book, you don't have to invest in expensive tape programmes. Learning a new language stimulates new brain areas.
ü Your brain gets refreshed during a good night’s sleep so follow these basics sleep tips. Don't drink caffeine after 3pm; don't drink more then 2 units of alcohol at night; establish a calming night time regime including a warm bath with relaxing lavender oil; don't use your PC or watch violent television within 90 minutes of your bedtime.
ü Over the long term set yourself a monthly challenge to stimulate your brain - learning a new skill is particularly good. Make it something fun like ballroom dancing where you have to pay attention to dance steps.
How to be happy!
Psychological research shows that even small changes in our daily life can lift us out of a dull routine and increase our levels of happiness.
Boost your happiness-quotient with these little psychological strategies now that spring’s upon us:
v Start with small steps including taking a new route to work and enjoying the fresh landscape. Try a new cafe at lunchtime or prepare yourself a new sandwich to bring into work with ingredients you’ve never tried.
v Ask that colleague you've been meaning to get to know better for a coffee or drink after work.
v Laughter boosts endorphins, the feel-good chemical in our brains, so enjoy regular comedy nights or watch regular comedy programmes.
v Choose a photo of a happy memory and put by your PC, fridge door, or desk drawer to remind yourself of happy times.
v Reconnect with an old friend. Research shows those that maintain friendships have greater happiness.
v Freshen up your look with a new hairstyle or visit the make-up counter at any major department store for free make-up tips. Trying a new eye-shadow or lipstick colour lifts your mood.
v Change your attitude and become a "cup-half-full" rather than a "cup-half-empty" person. Start by saying Yes to things that break your routine. People that say Yes to spontaneous invitations are happier than those who fear breaking their routine.
v When watching a music programme or listening to music on your I-pod get up and dance!
v Each day say a private "thank you" for the things you're blessed with.
Stop procrastinating and start doing!
Things have been on hold over winter. Stop procrastinating and do the things you've been putting off. Answer this question honestly: What do you daydream about when sitting at work, staring out of the window? Moving up the ladder at work or getting a new job? Maybe you dream of getting physically fit? Or how about travelling somewhere exotic? Now's the time to stop daydreaming and start doing!
Clear the clutter and clear your mind!
There’s psychological evidence that a spring-clean makes you feel better.
Not that you have to buy into the whole feng-shui movement that was popular a few years ago! But it's true that a cluttered home or office will clutter your mind. There are many things you can do to get organised and spring-clean your home/office:
¨ First off, don't expect to do it all at once because at a psychological level if you get overwhelmed and fatigued you’re likely to give up the whole project. Instead allocate 3-4 hours per week over the next six weeks. Put these in your diary now.
¨ Start with one room at a time and stick to some basic rules. For example, when it comes to clothes, if you haven't worn something for three years give it to charity. If it's a special item that was, e.g., expensive, wrap and store in a clearly marked box/container.
¨ next organise your close through a colour code system. Starting at one end of your wardrobe hang dark items, moving through other colours towards the other end of the wardrobe. Streamlining your wardrobe will make getting ready much quicker.
¨ When you reach the kitchen, if you haven't used an item for 3-4 years
it's a good rule-of-thumb to give it away. If, e.g., that bread maker or
electric carving knife has sat untouched for five years you’re unlikely to
use them now.
¨ Memory research shows that the more clutter in the home the more likely you are to lose things like house keys and mobile phones. Designate one container where you place house keys/mobile phone when you return home each evening. Ensure it's out of reach from your post-box as thieves have been known to use fishing rods to retrieve people's house keys.
¨ Use clear plastic storage containers so you can easily see what's been put away.
¨ Develop a simple filing system for, e.g., household bills and guarantees for purchases. The more straight forward the better. Before you get started decide how your file system will work. For example, do you intend to file alphabetically or in groups, e.g. utilities, guarantees, etc. Stick with your system!
¨ Simple things like keeping a note pad/pen always by your phone (that's never removed!), emergency phone numbers where everyone can find them, and a family note-board where you leave messages for each other, etc., really pay off.
Recharge your relationship!
You’re ready now to tackle your most important relationship and break bad relationship habits for a fresh start. Couples research shows that relationships need to be shaken-up from time to time to prevent them from getting stale. It also shows that couples that are prepared to try new ways of relating are the happiest. Some new relationship-rules to live by include:
q Each day emphasise the good you two share. Starting the day on a positive note means it’s more likely to end that way.
q Make regular dates with each other where you ban talk about, e.g., the mortgage and the boss you hate. Instead talk about things that make you laugh.
q On anniversaries and other event-days look through old photographs and share happy memories. Couples research shows that couples that remember the good times are more likely to stay together during the bad times.
q During disagreements take time to listen calmly to the other person's side of the story. If necessary use an egg timer and allow each other two-to-three full minutes to speak without interruption.
q If you always argue about the same issue, tape-record yourselves and listen back. You're very likely to see a pattern that you can then break.
q Change the daily grind. Make a point of trying something new every week or two. Join an evening class or gym together. Take dance classes or wine tasting. The couple that plays together stays together!
q Spice up the bedroom routine. It doesn't take much effort, even simple changes like changing the time of day or the room you normally make love, or the position you favour all help. Buy some new pieces of sexy clothing, a new CD of mood-music and some scented candles to make things a little more sensual.
Published in the Express Newspaper
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!