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Bullying at work, in brief…

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Some Psychology of High Heels

Thoughts on why women love TV doctors!

Why men and women snoop on each other!

Preventing Christmas party disasters!

You might feel the same with PMT as going through a breakup!

Huge and heavy handbags reflect the modern woman's psyche

Use your body language!

A few thoughts on self harm

A few thoughts on body image

Some Thoughts on Hiding Grief and Loss

QUIZ: How Superstitious Are You?

Coping With The So Very Modern Stress Of Technology!

QUIZ: What's Your "Mental Weight"? how to eat healthily!

The Bluffer’s Guide To Wine Tasting

Seven Secrets Of A Winning Attitude

QUIZ: What Type of Gift Giver Are You?

Are Bullies Taking Over? Plus tips if you bullied!

QUIZ: Are you OTT with OCD?

QUIZ: Sort Out the She-Devil in You (anger and stress advice)

Secrets Between Your Sheets - what your sleep positions mean!

Your height and implications for your life and personality

What Your Wallet Or Pocketbook Reveals About You!

OCD SOS: Help for your obsessive and compulsive behaviour!

Don't Take A Gamble With Gambling Online

Banish Panic Attacks

QUIZ: Don't Let Shyness Spoil Your Life!

How To Get A Heavenly Night’s Sleep

QUIZ: Are You A Spendaholic?

Spring Clean Your Life!

Stop Worrying And Start Living!

Unique Ways To Improve Your Intuition!

Dinner Party Gossip - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!

The Definitive Guide to Spotting Lying & Dishonesty

Common Embarrassing Situations - And How To Negotiate Them!

Don't Bet On Gambling - It's A Mug's Game!

Give up your seat for pregnant women!

QUIZ: Gossip Girls - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly about Gossip

Make the most of those first few moments when you meet someone

What Your Hair Colour Tells People About Your Personality!

Make the most out of managing staff

Colour Therapy For Your Life!

The Good Complaining Guide

Secrets & Lies - The Body Language of Dishonesty


Stop Worrying And Start Living!


Stop Worrying And Start Living!

Here's my advice for Natural Born Worriers

Is the same worrying thought whizzing through your mind today as it did yesterday? And the day before that? Do you feel you've stopped living life because you're always worrying about it? You’re definitely not alone.


Some research suggests nearly a third of women get trapped in a "Groundhog Day" scenario where each day is shaped by the same anxious thoughts. And around 6% suffer full-blown anxiety disorder. Things like, "Will we meet the mortgage payment?" or, "Will my teen be safe at that party?" and, “Did I write a good enough report?" shape their mental life.

Everyone worries about something from occasionally but that's very different to what I call "natural born worriers". These are those people who even when something good happens to them, or one of their loved ones, they start to worry that it won't last, it's going to be jeopardised, there's got to be a "catch" to it, etc.


This is different in nature to people who simply have a cup-half-empty rather than a half-full attitude. Such people may have a gloomy outlook to life but they don't actually fret and worry about it. It's the fretfulness and anxious feelings that set natural born worriers apart.


Although research suggests for some worriers there's a genetic basis so it may run in your family for others it’s through life experience that they develop the "worry-habit". For whatever reason, e.g., a traumatic experience, a series of difficult circumstances, etc., you started laying down neural pathways that loop repeatedly in a cycle of anxious thoughts.


But don't worry - there's lots you can do! Follow this worry-busting plan and start living again:

* For one week keep a diary using a very simple system of ticking how often a worrying thought comes to mind. This should be a small pocket-sized note pad/diary preferably with a little pen/pencil attached so you can make a ‘tick’ every time you start worrying.


* Take a look at the pattern of your worrying. Does it increase as the day goes on? Is it worse when you're approaching the office or dropping your children at school?


* Now explore the content of your worries. Make a list of the main areas of worry - money issues, problems with your partner, fears for your children, worrying about being on time, even global-warming!


* Doing this will give you an idea of the times you tend to worry most and what the content of your worries are. It's time to start challenging these worrying thoughts!


* Begin by thinking back over recent weeks of when you've been at your most calm. What circumstances made you feel calmer and relaxed? What were you doing that gave you a worry-free period? Perhaps you were gardening, doing some exercise, or sitting chatting with a friend or family member over glass of wine.


* Having identified what helps calm you down it's time to introduce more of that into your daily life. Maybe you can’t sit around chatting with that friend/family member over glass of wine. But you do have time for regular, quick phone calls with them because they have a calming-vibe about them. Or you need to build more exercise into your schedule.


* But most importantly I now want you to lie back or sit comfortably and create in your mind that feeling you have when you're doing that soothing activity or seeing that calming person. Practice bringing these calming images to mind and with all your senses experience how you feel when you're doing this. Practice this every day when you start fretting.


* It's time to explore where your worrying has got you. Think back and identify when worrying has actually helped you. I bet you can’t think of one instance when sitting there worrying, or worrying at your desk, or worrying in the shower actually helped the situation! The next time you start worrying, remind yourself of this - it's not helpful to the situation. It gets you nowhere! Banish the worrying thought at this moment!


* To reinforce this new "functional" way of thinking I’d like you to think about the last time you faced a crisis. What actually solved it? What coping skills were helpful? Write these out on a post-it note and put it where you'll see it regularly: "In a crisis it helped for me to keep calm and be practical!"


* Another simple technique to use is distraction. When you start fretting about, e.g., how much you have to get done that day use self-comforting actions after banishing the worrying thought. Close your eyes and stroke the inside of your wrist, rub your neck, or stretch your arms.


* You can also enlist loved ones in your quest to stop worrying. Alert them when worrying thoughts enter your mind. Chat about the worries so you talk yourself down from a worried state.


* If you have a persistent area of worry always look to solving it. If you're concerned your boss doesn't think you pull your weight discuss it with them. Find out what you could do better. It's far better to confront worrying things than to ignore them.


* Enjoy some fun! See a movie, go ice-skating, row a boat in the local park, and select a piece of soothing music to play that becomes your personal "no-worry" anthem. Put it on your I-pod or have it ready in your CD player.


If you're still plagued by worry see your doctor about potentially receiving counselling and/or anti-anxiety medication.


Useful contact - 020-8478-3400 (Mon & Wed 10 a.m. - 3 p.m.)


Published in the Express Newspaper



THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one

I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one is available to preorder on Amazon.

I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.

“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author


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The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!

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Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!

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How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.

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Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!

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Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.

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Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.

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The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

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The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

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Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!

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Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.

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Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'

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Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!

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