Squaring up to Your Shynes...
If you suffer with shyness...
Let me show you how to adopt the attitude of a winner!
The Olympics are here and everywhere there are discussions of the winners and losers. You may not be facing a sporting challenge but everyone has challenges in life they rise to, conquer and win over. Because what's the alternative? You don't want to roll over and crumble in the face of a challenge.
There has been lots of research into how a winner thinks and feels. Because although luck, or getting a lucky break, may play a little part in success the majority of it is down to having a winning attitude. And you need to stake a claim over having the right attitude and make sure yours is going to be a successful one.
Follow my Seven Secrets for a winning attitude to enhance your chances of success.
Why Fear Is Your Friend Not Your Enemy -
Fear makes you feel alive and aware of your environment - and that's necessary to get out there to succeed. If you didn't feel fear you wouldn't be bothered to rise to the challenge. So fear is there to make you respond to something.
The secret is to make fear your friend. Listen to what it's telling you. Treat any fear in the face of a challenge/goal as a friend that helps you target how to conquer it. Learn to understand your fear. Because once you understand where it comes from - say, fear that you won’t put your case right to your boss - you can then go about solving that. This takes you one step closer to your goal.
No one with a winning attitude ever goes into a challenge without a plan. But the crucial difference between those who succeed and fail is that those with a winning attitude know that things don't always go to plan.
Understanding that means you'll be ready to rethink your plan if something has challenged it or prevented it. This secret to a winning attitude gives you the flexibility of mind and spirit to create a new plan or at least rethink some of the steps/stages of your plan.
Whatever your "competition" is - be it a colleague, boss, partner (e.g. that wants to do something different to you), a project - know it! Knowledge is a vital secret of winning. The more you arm yourself with knowledge of the person or issue you're dealing with, the more likely you'll succeed.
Never underestimate the power of knowledge - don't go into a situation blind. You can bet the Olympic competitors know all about the other athletes they compete against!
Don't fall into the trap of believing there is only one solution to your challenge or hurdle. That is the attitude of someone who will lose. There are always many different solutions to a problem or goal.
The key secret is to generate as many solutions as you can think of and then evaluate each for their possible level of success. Once you've thought through what seems to be the best possible solution, go for it but knowing that ultimately you may need to try one of the other solutions.
Be Fighting Fit -
Would an athlete go into a competition tired, hungry or hung over? Definitely not! No matter that you're not participating in a sporting competition you should also be fighting fit. This means ensuring that your body is in top-notch condition because that will mean your mind is functioning at its best.
Those with a winning attitude know that it's vital to have a refreshed state of mind so you can respond to whatever the challenge throws at you. You can gain this state of mind by eating well, making sure you have good quality rest and that you sharpen your wits by limiting alcohol intake why are you preparing for your challenge.
Visualise Your Success -
Whatever you’re striving to win or conquer it's important to embed your belief that you can do it deep inside your subconscious. A great secret that winners use to help achieve this is to visualise their coming success. Take a little time every day to close your eyes, lie back and visualise what you're trying to do. Really “see” yourself succeeding. Feel the emotions that go with that. Think through what will come of that success. Finally, make a note of anything you've learnt once you've done this exercise. Because when you take the time to visualise success you sometimes see another path way to it.
Mistakes Are A Gift -
People that succeed, and have a winning attitude, never crumble in the face of a mistake. They realise that everyone makes mistakes. The key is to learn from that mistake and see it as a gift that will stop you doing that again, what ever it is.
Sit down and analyse what went wrong and how that can be prevented in future. Do you need to change something about your attitude or do you need to rethink some of the practical steps in your plan? Carefully going through this will strengthen your resolve to be a success.
Published in the Express Newspaper
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
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