With the new Royal baby about to arrive here's advice for you when you feel too tired for sex -...
The Secrets Between Your Sheets -
I give you the low-down on your sleep positions
How Couples Appear To Other People -
Think about the way you might notice how one couple sits snugly together and cuddles each other but another couple has distance between them and doesn't touch any part of their bodies. You might well make the assumption that the first couple his more deeply in love and emotionally connected. And you might be right! Although the second couple might have had a disagreement and that's why they are keeping their distance but they could possibly have a great relationship to.
What Secrets Can We Find Out At Bedtime About A Couple?
Just as you might make a guess about couples that you've observed sitting and interacting together it's also true that we can make some judgements about the way a couple sleeps together - and how connected they might be.
Because unless someone has a physical problem that keeps them well apart at night or perhaps one of the couple's snores and is a nightmare to sleep with, then most couples sleep in a way that shows how connected they are.
Here are some different ways that couples sleep and what it might say about their relationship:
The Spoons - The Woman Behind
This is a protective and sensual way to sleep. Protective because it makes a woman feel that her partner is looking after her in this position. But it's also a sensual as the man can reach around and caress his partner. This position hints at a traditional relationship.
The Spoons - The Man Behind
This is a very nurturing position and shows that the woman is the backbone of the relationship. She cuddles her partner and makes him feel loved and secure in this position. In this relationship the man wouldn't be frightened of letting go of responsibilities and letting his partner be his emotional anchor.
Poles Apart -
Both partners sleep on their sides, with their backs turned to each other, facing the edge of the bed. This signals that you lack connection with each other and you may suffer from a lack of intimacy. You might also be too independent in the way you run your lives so you end up independent between the sheets! Make sure you're not living life on two parallel tracks that never meet and across.
Pushed Out -
One of you hogs the bed and literally makes the other partner feel pushed out. They cling to the edge of the bed and usually don't sleep well. Sometimes this is due to the partner’s size - if they’re large or tall they quite naturally take up too much space. However if this isn't the case it may signal that they’re selfish in your relationship and are dominating it.
Luscious Lust -
He sleeps on his back while she's on her side cuddled up into his arms for full-on contact. Not only does this make foreplay easier for some night-time naughtiness but if you fall asleep this way too then it signals you simply can’t resist cuddling up and feeling that closeness. You’re probably still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship and should make sure you don't lose some of that desire.
Emotional Neediness -
He's signalling that he really needs you when you lie on your back and he cuddles up into your arms! He needs a real emotional connection and to feel comforted by your arms. Just make sure you don't find him too needy.
ü Always make up if you've argued before you go to bed. Couples that don't resolve their arguments end up feeling poles apart emotionally - as well as literally - when they turn away from their partner and refuse to have any contact. Nobody gets a good night's sleep in this mood!
ü Let your partner know (particularly a new one that you may feel more inhibited around) if there's any reason you prefer a position that keeps you apart from them. It may be that you feel the heat very easily and so don't like another person's body warmth making you feel too hot. Or it may be that you've got a back problem or something like that and have to adopt a certain position to be comfortable. What ever it is make sure they don't think it's them if you choose a position that doesn't allow any connection.
ü Always seal your sleep with a kiss and hug goodnight no matter what position you both prefer. As long as you've shown each other that you care then it doesn't really matter if you prefer poles apart.
ü Keep subtle lighting at your bedside to create a loving and a restful mood. Also choose the colours you use in your bedroom carefully so that they promote relaxation.
ü The calmer you two are as you get into bed can help you feel more connected to each other. To help achieve a sense of calmness in your room and between you two, ban technology like mobiles and laptops from the bedroom to make sure you don't end up poles apart.
Published on MSN.co.UK
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!