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Some Psychology of High Heels

Thoughts on why women love TV doctors!

Why men and women snoop on each other!

Preventing Christmas party disasters!

You might feel the same with PMT as going through a breakup!

Huge and heavy handbags reflect the modern woman's psyche

Use your body language!

A few thoughts on self harm

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Some Thoughts on Hiding Grief and Loss

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Give up your seat for pregnant women!

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Some Thoughts on Hiding Grief and Loss

19/10/2009

Some Thoughts on Hiding Grief and Loss

"It's surprising how many people harbour deep emotional grief over various life events. Many view them as "skeletons" in their cupboards and fear the reaction of others if they opened up about the event. For example, many women feel they couldn't possibly share with a partner it past abortion sexual assault."

What damage can be caused by hiding such pain?

"Some people are able to ‘compartmentalise’ hidden grief. It's like they close the door on it and then move on. However most people find it causes them a great deal of distress. Often this happens when something suddenly throws the memory of the event into their conscious mind and catches them unawares. This can cause much anxiety and upset. For others they have a constant sense that there's a stream of memories and attached feelings that ebb and flow out of their everyday life. In such cases they may experience chronic psychosomatic illness like frequent headaches, tummy aches, skin complaints and general stress and exhaustion. It takes a lot of emotional energy to contain all these feelings to yourself. They may also turn to drink or drugs in the long term to "medicate" difficult feelings."

How it can effect relationshps and what sort of knock-on effects can it have if you hide important things like grief or even regret over an abortion?

"There are many long-term effects of hidden grief on relationships. People will develop different "coping strategies" that protect them from really connecting with a partner friend or family. So, for example, they may be one of these people with a perpetual cheery smile who always smooth things over when inside they experience a lot of pain. But actually such coping strategies prevent them from having healthy relationships. If someone cannot share their pain from the past it usually means they won't share pain that occurs in the present. This prevents them from having genuinely emotionally intimate relationship where both partners feel they can build trust to share their most difficult feelings. People with hidden grief often have a string of unhappy relationships that don't end with emotional closure because they simply cannot talk about things when they go wrong."

Books

The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!


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Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!


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How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.


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Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!


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Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.


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Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.


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The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

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The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

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Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!


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Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.


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Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'


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Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!


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