Squaring up to Your Shynes...
If you suffer with shyness...
A few thoughts on body image - questions & answers
* Where does our current concept of body image come from - ie, what are the influences and are we being exposed to more unhealthy pressures nowadays?
Having done a piece of research on body image issues I found that there are many influences on the way women feel about their bodies. There are the obvious influences like media and advertising images of beautiful, apparently flawless women which means that we feel the pressure to be perfect like they are. These images are everywhere - in magazines, newspapers, television and films, and advertisements. But we’re also influenced by what we think men want. We assume they want women with very slim bodies when actually most men prefer a few curves. And we think like this because of all these images saying "slim bodies are the most". But probably the most difficult for women is the sense of competition we have to be at least as slim or pretty as our girlfriends and female colleagues.
* What are the possible consequences of an unhealthy body image? Are women more at risk of eating disorders?
There are many consequences of an unhealthy body image. First off, forget bad hair days, at some point one in five women suffer "bad body" days where they make any excuse not to go out. They feel so bad about themselves and their body shape and size that they simply don't want to face the world that is an enormous waste of their energies and draining to their self-esteem. Although eating disorders of various types have been around for longer than we realise, it appears that these have increased with the pressure to be perfect. If someone is vulnerable images if perfection and believes that that's the only way they are going to be a worthy and desirable person then they can embark on a vicious cycle of dieting. Until we have healthier images of more rounded women - thankfully there are small strides in this direction - vulnerable women will be at risk of eating disorders.
* What do you think needs to be done to address the body image problem nationwide - and how can women keep a healthy check on their own body image (eg, how do you know when you're being unrealistic about your expectations for your looks, etc)?
This is a complex area that needs a multi-pronged approach. Certainly more advertisers and film and television casting directors need to hire women who have realistic proportions - we need more Kate Winslets and Nigella Lawsons promoted as healthy and beautiful. Secondly, nationally we need a more consistent and easily understood campaign in schools about healthy eating. Doctors also need to be aware of the signs of eating disorders at an early stage. Unfortunately many simply don't recognise eating disorders until they are full-blown. Finally parents need to be vigilant and ensure their children feel good about themselves. They should also be aware of any signs of unrealistic body image expectations. However, with concerted efforts from many corners you still won't prevent some women feeling bad about their bodies and perhaps resorting to eating disorders.
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!