40+ women will recognise mirror angst "syndrome" where they become acutely aware and overly...
Dinner Party Gossip - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!
My do's and don'ts of modern dinner-party gossip
Your table looks perfect and the dinner you’ve prepared smells wonderful. You're looking forward to sipping some delicious wine and enjoying clever conversation with your dinner party guests. But what you won't have reckoned for is where the conversation may stray later that evening.
At a dinner party recently I suddenly heard one guest detailing the affair that a friend of hers was having. Hardly appropriate dinner-party conversation when some of the other guests knew the woman in question. A little discretion would’ve been called for in knowing such hot gossip and letting others in on it. Undoubtedly The Gossip wanted to score some social points for being in the know.
And also such is the way of the world with our “confessional” attitudes to all aspects of our lives. The Gossip in question obviously thought nothing of sharing the intimate details of someone else's dirty laundry. However I know for a fact it left a bad taste in the hostess’s mouth, who complained about it to me the next day on the phone.
With such experiences in mind, here's the “Good Guests Guide to Dinner-party Gossip”:
Personal Details About Other People's Lives -
The Don’ts - As per my example you need to think why you'd want to share gossip about another person’s private life. It's one thing between best friends who confide "secrets" to each other and share such things. It's quite another to get a megaphone and broadcast things someone has told you, or you’ve found out about, to the whole wide world. The rule is don't share such things unless someone has told you it's fine to do so.
The Do’s - If on the other hand, say, an affair has led to a break-up and the couple you know are divorcing then it’s probably pretty much common knowledge. There probably won't be any harm done from a little bit of gossip about how far down the line their divorce is. However, always be aware of the other guests and how their lives might cross with the people you want to gossip about.
The Don’ts - Never share information someone has given you about a medical condition of theirs. They may want to keep that private and it's their right to do so. Also it's a big No-No at a dinner party to discuss gory medical details - and that applies to your own ailments, too. You don't want to put fellow diners off their dinner!
The Dos - If everyone around the table is sharing "bad back" stories then it's fine to share yours but divulging all about your personal medical worries is not. Where someone has told you about a condition - and you know they wouldn't mind you sharing it - then by all means do so if someone says they’re experiencing that same condition. Just do so without naming the person you know - that takes it into the realms of gossip again.
The Don’ts - We all love to hear what someone else is earning, what their bonus is, how much in debt they are, etc. But that doesn't mean it's right to gossip about it! Steer clear of gossiping about the financial highs and lows of others. And beware of any mention of your own finances that sounds like boasting.
The Dos - Without getting into actual figures it's absolutely fine to gossip about someone, say, getting a fantastic mortgage rate with another mortgage-company. Or that they made an investment that paid off - just don't discussion how much.
The Don’ts - Haven't we all been there when the person next to us says something like, "Well, Debbie's husband Jonathan has this extraordinary habit of…” It can make you feel quite queasy - and wonder how they know. It should be a lesson in not to gossip about other people's quirks and weird little habits.
The Dos - Little anecdotes about minor mishaps are absolutely fine to share. Like gossiping about your friend who set fire to something in their oven or accidentally cut off their electricity. These are amusing rather than damaging.
The Don’ts - Some people will experience a sort of schadenfreude when divulging juicy gossip about the bad behaviour of other people's children. Resist this! You should never finger-point at other people's children, no matter how much you'd love to. Usually people see through this - that you’re trying to make your own children shine more and that's very unattractive!
The Dos - It's fine to share gossip about other people's children doing well - like getting into their first choice of school.
The Don’ts - You might assume that by gossiping about someone else's disastrous dinner-party or poor quality culinary skills that it will endear you to your hosts. Quite the opposite - they'll assume that you’ll be gossiping about their dinner party the next time you're out.
The Dos - As long as you're not seen to be blowing someone else's horn more than your hosts (they’ll also take umbrage to that!) it's fine to gossip about pleasant evenings you've had elsewhere.
Finally, if you’re with a very tight-knit group of friends you can gossip until the cows come home about anything you wish. Simply exercise self-control over the gratuitous details you may wish to share when other guests are added into the equation. And obviously if someone has sworn you to secrecy about something they've confided, you should keep their secret.
Published in The Express Newspaper
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!