It's time to recognise the "I'll be happy when..." syndrome!...
Hardly barbecue weather last night by the time our friends came over last night. But despite being cooked in the oven rather than barbecued the chicken was tasty - a good combination of ingredients that I mentioned yesterday.
In today's Express newspaper I have a piece about 'love myths' we buy into and aren't actually true. If you're single and looking for love then you should check it out because these love myths might hold you back from finding love.
Don't confuse money and security as money can't buy you happiness...but emotional security can! Seeing a piece in today's papers saying that people think they need 42K a year and a £500,000 house to be happy made me think that we're so wrong!
Unfortunately we've come to believe that we always need more money to make us happy. And those people who already earn 42K and have that size house wish for twice the earnings and twice as big a house. It's a never ending cycle where you can never get what you want!
In my research for my new book (How to be a Happy Human) I found that once people actually think about what makes them happy - they find it has little to do with money - it's far more about emotional security.
Yes of course people need a certain amount of money to give them security but in day-to-day life it's how they connect with others and finding what makes them genuinely happy that counts. Not counting up what they have in the bank! It's achieving emotional security that gives them true well-being and peace of mind.
Take a client, Miranda (a pseudonym) age 37, she left her long-term boyfriend when a richer man came along and made her an offer she couldn't refuse. But by six months down the line she found she desperately missed the man who had less financially but much more of an emotional connection to her. She deeply regretted her decision. I have heard many stories!
TODAY’S THOUGHT: I think we could all do with thinking about the implications of always wanting more as this links into my concept in my book of the 'Future-Dependent Happiness Trap' - where people believe that they'll be happier in the future when they have a better job and more money. They miss out on what's good in their lives in the present and hinge on their happiness at some future point. I wonder if you do this?
How about when you come face-to-face with your love rival! I saw a report in the paper today about
the Channel 4 racing presenter Emma Spencer nearly coming face-to-face with her love rival the jockey Hayley Turner. Emma managed to avert that face-to-face meeting but most people aren't so lucky and have to come to terms with meeting their love rival. Oh god, I've been there in my past - you want the ground to open up and swallow you! if you've run into a love rival let me know on "your e-mail of the week" and I might share my story with you, if you share yours with me!
You know I normally tell you about the music I like – but today it's about the music I hate - and I'm so surprised that X Factor finalist from a couple years ago, Diana Vicar's new single is number one! There's something about her voice that I find creepy.
It's Monday, find some fun in your day, Pam X
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!