Squaring up to Your Shynes...
If you suffer with shyness...
I love music like the next person - and give me something to dance to (and make a fool of myself on the dance floor) or give me a moving ballad and I'm a happy bunny.
But two songs have caused me conflicting feelings in the last week. First off I immediately loved kings of clubbing and dance music Chase and Status’s new track Let You Go. At first listen I wasn't really paying attention to the lyrics. Once I realised it was about obsessive love - and that the woman at the focus of the lyrics isn't going to be able to "run and hide" I was a bit freaked.
Then there was Eminem’s track featuring Rhianna - Love the Way You Lie - that is one of those gripping ballads that I immediately love - again until I realised the lyrics are about domestic violence. I was pretty shocked to realise that it was her voice on the track when she's experienced domestic violence. Listen to the lyrics and you'll see why.
Now on the one hand you could argue that raising these issues in songs is a really good thing to do - I've come across loads of cases of obsessive love and domestic violence (they often go hand in hand) and these are more common than you'd think.
But there's something about them being in tracks like this that almost seems to make them okay - maybe because music stars are performing them. It's food for thought.
TODAY’S THOUGHT: I recently came across a case of obsessive love where at first the woman had enjoyed the excessive attention. Soon she realised it was a very slippery and dark slope to this man controlling her life.
As so many women in these situations do, she tried to sort it out on her own because she felt some humiliation about having raved to her friends about him being the best thing ever when actually it descended into the worst thing ever.
So never suffer in silence if things have gone wrong! Don't let pride or feeling humiliated stop you from saying things have turned out bad.
In my Love it! magazine column this week I answer a reader's dilemma about bondage... didn't want her to get tied up in knots about it... bang, bang! No, seriously, both people have to feel comfortable trying kinky things.
Yay, having a date with the hubby tonight - a nice dinner and then seeing Sweet Charity - it's had great reviews.
Enjoy your Friday, Pam X
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!