With the new Royal baby about to arrive here's advice for you when you feel too tired for sex -...
Later today my weekly iVillage.co.uk blog goes live - I've answered a dilemma from a woman where her husband's depression and dope smoking is overwhelming - she feels swamped by it.
Smoking dope certainly isn't the answer to depression! If you're in this very trying situation please do check out my iVillage blog.she feels want
Yesterday on The Vanessa Show we chatted about sexual compatibility - when one of you has a different level of sex drive and whether you can overcome it - yes you can! It's the rare couple that are extremely compatible - most couples have to find some sort of compromise. Also your sex drive changes, ebbs and flows, and you have to understand that and not get upset when that happens.
TODAY’S THOUGHT: Here’s an easy breakdown of the things you should think about when you two have different levels of desire:
Your relationship: are there stresses and strains are affecting one of you more than the other? Does one of you manage to forget an argument and dive into bed for some sex but the other holds onto bad feelings?
Your lifestyle choices: does excessive drinking, drug-taking, late nights, even smoking cigarettes, take a toll on one of the more than the other?
Your health: does one of you take medication for a health problem that affects sex drive or have a medical condition that affects sex drive? Is the woman affected by her monthly cycle and if the man is over 40 is his testosterone level dropping?
Your responsibilities: does one of you work longer hours, get more stressed at work, or do the lion's share of childcare and get tired?
If you can pick through these things and establish what might be at the root of your sex drive differences you might find solutions.
And finally: your/your partner's technique: let's face it, if your partner's technique doesn't do it for you, your sex drive will plummet. The best way around this? Think of a subtle way to get them to touch you/kiss you differently... for instance, if they begin to do something that feels good, super-compliment them, tell them how fab it feels, tell them you want more... that way you get more of what they do right and less of what they do wrong.
Or think of a cunning way to introduce them to touching/kissing you in a way that you know you'll like.
Fantasy chat is a good way to do this. Ask them to be the ‘sexy doctor’ who seduces you – their patient. You can describe to them exactly where it "hurts" and as the sexy doctor they need to stroke/kiss/lick it better!
Good luck trying to sort this tricky problem - you don't want to end up in the situation Sue Marchant and I were chatting about last night on BBC radio Cambridgeshire and eastern regions - why people end up in affairs.
Take care, Pamx
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!