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About Me

Thanks for checking out my site - the ENTIRE point is FREE self-help with agony aunt-style advice on lots of topics. That said, no article (in full or in part) may be reprinted or used (apart from reading it on this site) without my express premission.

I work as an agony aunt, life and solutions coach, commentator and writer on sex, relationships, and behaviour.

I hope you'll find the articles & tips useful! I've sorted them into the main areas of: sex, love & relationships, parenting, life coaching, and others.

Please get in touch about anything else at 'e-mail me' on my homepage - would love to answer every e-mail but as I run my site without assistance and work full-time sadly I can't. So I select 1 per week to answer on Thursdays.

In my work as an agony aunt, solutions coach and writer I've written 13 self-help books my latest are Sex Academy, How to be a Happy Human and Steamy Sex I'm also...

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...an occasional broadcaster - bit of radio & telly - so a little bit of everything to do with life.

Love having provided lots of sex and love tips in my fortnightly online sex and love advice column for the Sun newspaper that I've been writing for a few years. It was called 'Sex and Love Academy' - and now we've launched a new online column - Dr Pam's Pleasure Zone - please do visit the Sun online and a new column goes live every other Friday from 10th January 2014. It's full of top tips.

Recently I did a fun project as a regular celebrity news/relationships commentator on a small satellite show - fab to have new experiences.

Last summer I presented a series of agony aunt programmes on BBC radio Western regions - it was so much fun - worked with a great team and heard from many lovely people.

Occasionally I pop up on different TV programmes as an agony aunt and social commentator like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Daybreak, Loose Women, Sky News, the spin off Big Brother programmes and was a regular guest on the Vanessa Show on C5.

Since 1997 I've presented radio programmes and was over-the-moon to win a Sony radio award when I was at Heart 106.2 FM. That's the only award I've ever won - I'm not counting a fashion award I won in high school, for creating an entire outfit out of purple - quite frankly my fashion sense nowadays could be politely described as "eclectic".

For two years I had a weekly agony slot on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as lots of freelancing on various stations - popping up weekly on stations around the country - and used to do a weekly slot on George Lamb's previous BBC 6 Music shows...Oh George, that was quite an experience!

I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology - my BSc Hons in psychology from a London university, MPhil in psychology from the London teaching hospital I received my PhD from + ad hoc counselling-type and self-improvement/life-coaching courses. I'm a Chartered Research, Teaching & Academic psychologist with the BPS.

I have worked with a number of charities and presently am a patron of Kids in the Middle that advises parents who are breaking up on how to help their children during this difficult time.

It's fun writing a weekly 'Love Doc' page for Miss Independent Woman website - check them out here!

I also support the fantastic work of Kevin Healey and to his autism bullying campaign as well as being a founding member of Kids in the Middle - a charity that aims to promote awareness in parents who are breaking up and how this can affect their children.

I'm delighted to support Saying Goodbye a  charity supporting and providing national services for those who have suffered a miscarriage, still birth or early years loss. 

No two days are the same and I enjoy fresh challenges and always look for new things to do. Please check out my weekly agony column on iVillage.co.uk and my regular contributions to MSN.co.uk, as well as the Goodtoknow.co.uk, Men's Health, Orange and GQ websites amongst others.

I hope you find the site helpful - it's packed with tips and advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates!

Keep happy, keep hopeful, Dr Pam x

p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate (I'm a complete chocoholic) + music including artists/bands - off the top of my head  and in a completely random order - Foos, Kings of Leon, Royal Blood, Bloc Party, XX, The Drums, Wild Beasts, Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Strokes, The Dead Weather, Them Crooked Vultures, Jack White, Alabama Shakes, Biffy Clyro, Enter Shakari, MGMT, Band of Horses, Arcade Fire, White Lies, Example, Calvin Harris, Mark Ronson, Black Keys, Plan B, MIA, Tinie Tempah, Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, JayZ, plus newcomers like AWOL Nation, TEED, Wretch 32, Angel, Jay James Picton, Kendrick Lamar, Spector, Wolfgang, Ed Sheeran and Liam Bailey, Ben Howard, plus dubstep Magnetic Man, Modestep, Nero and Katy B + so many more... like the amazingly fab Lady Gaga to poptastic (sometimes guilty) pleasures like The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Britney, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, Robert Harris, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports - I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (funny enough not related to Karate). And my biggest loves of all are my hubby and children.

My 'hates' include...well, I might just keep those to myself.

I pop up on different TV programmes like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Big Brother's Little Brother, GMTV, Loose Women and others. I've presented radio programmes since 1997 and won a Sony radio award when I was at Heart 106.2 FM. Think that's the only award I've ever won - I'm not counting a fashion award I won in high school, for creating an entire outfit out of purple, as quite frankly my fashion sense nowadays could be politely described as "eclectic".
I presently do two weekly radio slots - have been doing Wednesdays on George Lamb's BBC 6 Music show for months, but when he moves to weekends in December I'll be doing contributions to his new shows. Tuesdays on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as lots of freelancing on various stations - popping up weekly on stations around the country.
I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology + counselling-type areas.
No two days are the same as quite frankly I have a low boredom threshold - I need fresh challenges and I'm always looking for new things to do.
I write about love, sex, life - and even celebrities' behaviour - for newspapers like The Express, The Sun, The Times and others, magazines like Love it! and Scarlet plus the 'glossies' like Cosmo, Glamour, Red, Now, More, and so on. Check out my new weekly column on iVillage.co.uk and my regular contributions to MSN.co.uk, as well as the Goodtoknow.co.uk, Men's Health, Orange and GQ websites amongst others. 
I hope you find the site super helpful - it's packed with advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates like the little sex tip films I plan plus other interesting things!
Keep happy, Dr Pam x 
p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate + music including artists/bands (off the top of my head) from Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, Kings of Leon, Bloc Party, Wild Beast (v happy to see them on Jools Holland as have never caught them live), Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Foo Fighters, and so many more to pop like my guilty pleasures of The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports - I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (funny enough not related to Karate). And my biggest loves of all are my hubby and two children.
My 'hates' include...well, I might just keep those to myself!

 

 

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News

Back-to-school tips! Off to the Celebrity Big Brother studios tonight

01/09/2014

Calling all parents - at 8:10 AM this morning UK time I'll be giving back-to-school tips to make sure your child's first day at school goes smoothly. This is on the Heart FM radio slot I do for Heart Wales.

With so much happening in the Celebrity Big Brother house I'm looking forward to chatting to Emma Willis again tonight in my psych slot.

TODAY’S TIP: Back to our real lives – one of the tips I'll be discussing this morning on radio is that parents shouldn't get overexcited around their child - hoping to get their child excited and not worried about their first day of school. Too much excitement can provoke anxiety in your child – they think it's a really, really big deal.

It's better to strike a balance between being positive and confident about them starting school and not going over the top.

Till later on Big Bro, take care, Pamx

Television presenter opens up about his addiction...

31/08/2014

I commented in the Sun Newspaper today about the UK television presenter Paul Ross and his story of a spiral into addiction. I hope Paul Ross story is wake-up call to others.

Please get help through a 12 step programme and your doctor. Take that first step - good luck!

Want some tips on introducing sex toys to your love life?

30/08/2014

It's the weekend and time to have some fun. If you're wondering how to get your partner interested in experimenting with sex toys then please check my article here from the Ann Summers website: http://tinyurl.com/mpewds4

Have a lovely weekend, off to friends in the heart of Kent - so happy the rain stopped, take carePam x

When body image issues affect the bedroom

29/08/2014

I’ve been involved in body image research in the past and it’s astounding how these issues can creep into every part of your life including the bedroom.

In my fortnightly Pleasure Zone online column with the Sun newspaper I’ve provided lots of tips to help you start overcoming body image issues and how to spice things up in the bedroom. I’ll post a link here when it goes live on their website.

TODAY’S TIP: Keep focused on the fact that you mean so incredibly much more as a person with your personality and attributes then what your body means.

Have a lovely weekend, Pamx

Thanks for the web chat. When wedding expenses get out of control

28/08/2014

Thanks so much if you sent a question in for my web chat yesterday with Ann Summers – it was lovely hearing from so many people and I was sorry we couldn’t get to everyone’s questions in the hour.

Over to people blowing a ton of money on their wedding day – in today’s Sun newspaper I’ve commented on one woman’s story – she’s ended up bankrupt.

No wedding day is worth bankruptcy. This story is a wake-up call for people thinking they should take out a big loan for their wedding day. 

TODAY’S TIP: What counts most is making some very special memories for you and your partner – it’s not about impressing friends and family. Keep that firmly in mind when thinking about your budget for your big day.

Look after yourself, Pamx

LIVE twitter-web chat today from 2-3 PM UK time - please join me...

27/08/2014

Join me for a live webchat today when I'll answer your sex and love questions along with the great team at Ann Summers.

You can tweet me @drpamspurr using the hashtag #AskDrPam and include @Ann_Summers - tweet anytime til Wednesday 245 p.m.

And if you're feeling shy then email your question to my site homepage.

It'll be lovely to hear from you, take care, Pamx

LIVE web chat tomorrow 2-3 PM UK time. Plus unusual grief reactions...

26/08/2014

Join me for a live webchat tomorrow (27th August) when I'll answer your sex and love questions along with the great team at Ann Summers.

You can tweet me @drpamspurr using the hashtag #AskDrPam and include @Ann_Summers - tweet anytime til Wednesday 245 p.m.

And if you're feeling shy then email your question to my site homepage. It'll be lovely to hear from you.
 
In today's Sun newspaper I've commented on one woman's story about an unusual grief reaction. Kristina turned to shoplifting - her story is here.

If you are grieving for a loved one please do reach out and get the help you need.

All the very best, Pamx

It's out to the Celebrity Big Brother studios tonight. Plus tips for worrying...

25/08/2014

I'm so excited tonight is my first Monday night psych slot for this series - and have these celebrities delivered an explosive first week!

I'm looking forward to chatting to Emma Willis and will have loads to discuss tonight.

On my homepage under 'hot off the press' I've posted an article on worrying after a request for some overthinking tips.

Till later, have a great bank holiday, Pamx

LIVE webchat Wednesday 27th August at 2-3 pm UK time...

24/08/2014

Join me for a live webchat on Wednesday when I'll answer your sex and love questions along with the great team at Ann Summers.

You can tweet me @drpamspurr using the hashtag #AskDrPam and include @Ann_Summers - tweet anytime til Wednesday 245 p.m.

And if you're feeling shy then email your question to my site homepage.

It'll be lovely to hear from you, take care, Pamx

Friends minding their own business. And off to the Edinburgh festival

19/08/2014

Heading up to Scotland to see lots of shows – mainly comedy - and can't wait. It’s been so busy at work trying to get ready to go but I’ve just posted a new Agony Aunt question about minding your own business and friendships. Check it out on my homepage at dilemma of the week if you think it might apply to your life.

Thanks so much for your emails - I wish I could answer all of them.

Have a great week, take care of yourself, Pamx

 

Books

The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!


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Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!


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How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.


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Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!


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Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.


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Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.


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The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

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The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

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Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!


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Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.


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Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'


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Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!


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