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About Me

Thanks for checking out my site - the entire point is free self-help with agony aunt-style advice on lots of topics. That said, no article (in full or in part) may be reprinted or used without my premission.

I work as an agony aunt, life and solutions coach, commentator and writer on sex, relationships, and behaviour.

I hope you'll find the articles & tips useful! I've sorted them into the main areas of: sex, love & relationships, parenting, life coaching, and others.

Please get in touch at 'e-mail me' on my homepage - I'd love to answer every e-mail but as I run my site without assistance and work full-time sadly I can't.

In my work as an agony aunt, solutions coach and writer I've written 14 self-help books, my latest are Sex Academy, How to be a Happy Human and The Emotional Eater's Diet. I'm also...

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...an occasional broadcaster doing a bit of radio & TV.

For over three years I've had a fortnightly online sex and love advice column for the Sun newspaper - please do visit the Sun online - a new column goes live every other Friday full of top tips on sex and love.

Recently I did a fun project as a regular celebrity news/relationships commentator on a small satellite show and I pop up on different TV programmes as an agony aunt and social commentator like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Loose Women, Sky News, and the spin off Big Brother programmes.

Since 1997 I've presented radio programmes and was over-the-moon to win a Sony radio award when I was at Heart FM London here I presented shows for five years. I then presented for 4 1/2 years on LBC before going freelance. Since then I've presented and 'guested' on a huge number of BBC regional stations inclduing BBC London, Western regions and Surrey and Sussex.

For two years I had a weekly agony slot on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as a weekly dream analysis slot on George Lamb's previous BBC 6 Music shows.

I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology - my BSc Hons in psychology from a London university, MPhil in psychology from the London teaching hospital I received my PhD from + ad hoc counselling-type and self-improvement/life-coaching courses. I'm a Chartered Research, Teaching & Academic psychologist with the BPS.

I have worked with a number of charities and presently am a patron of Kids in the Middle that advises parents who are breaking up on how to help their children during this difficult time.

It's fun writing a weekly 'Love Doc' page for Miss Independent Woman website - check them out here! And I'm starting a new agony column with the Yummy Mummy website.

I also support the fantastic work of Kevin Healey and to his autism bullying campaign as well as being a founding member of Kids in the Middle - a charity that aims to promote awareness in parents who are breaking up and how this can affect their children.

I'm delighted to support Saying Goodbye a  charity supporting and providing national services for those who have suffered a miscarriage, still birth or early years loss. 

No two days are the same and I enjoy fresh challenges and always look for new things to do having written self-help columns and articles for many websites and magazines.

I hope you find the site helpful - it's packed with tips and advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates!

Keep happy, keep hopeful, Dr Pam x

p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate (I'm a complete chocoholic) + music including artists/bands - off the top of my head  and in a completely random order - Foos, Kings of Leon, Royal Blood, Pulled Apart by Horses, Jack White, Bloc Party, XX, The Drums, Wild Beasts, Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Strokes, The Dead Weather, Them Crooked Vultures, Alabama Shakes, Biffy Clyro, Enter Shakari, MGMT, Band of Horses, Arcade Fire, White Lies, Example, Calvin Harris, Mark Ronson, Black Keys, Plan B, MIA, Tinie Tempah, Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, JayZ, plus newcomers like AWOL Nation, TEED, Wretch 32, Angel, Jay James Picton, Kendrick Lamar, Spector, Wolfgang, Ed Sheeran and Liam Bailey, Ben Howard, plus dubstep Magnetic Man, Modestep, Nero and Katy B + so many more... like the amazingly fab Lady Gaga to poptastic (sometimes guilty) pleasures like The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Britney, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, Robert Harris, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports - I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (funny enough not related to Karate). And my biggest loves of all are my hubby and children.

My 'hates' include...well, I might just keep those to myself.

I pop up on different TV programmes like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Big Brother's Little Brother, GMTV, Loose Women and others. I've presented radio programmes since 1997 and won a Sony radio award when I was at Heart 106.2 FM. Think that's the only award I've ever won - I'm not counting a fashion award I won in high school, for creating an entire outfit out of purple, as quite frankly my fashion sense nowadays could be politely described as "eclectic".
I presently do two weekly radio slots - have been doing Wednesdays on George Lamb's BBC 6 Music show for months, but when he moves to weekends in December I'll be doing contributions to his new shows. Tuesdays on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as lots of freelancing on various stations - popping up weekly on stations around the country.
I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology + counselling-type areas.
No two days are the same as quite frankly I have a low boredom threshold - I need fresh challenges and I'm always looking for new things to do.
I write about love, sex, life - and even celebrities' behaviour - for newspapers like The Express, The Sun, The Times and others, magazines like Love it! and Scarlet plus the 'glossies' like Cosmo, Glamour, Red, Now, More, and so on. Check out my new weekly column on iVillage.co.uk and my regular contributions to MSN.co.uk, as well as the Goodtoknow.co.uk, Men's Health, Orange and GQ websites amongst others. 
I hope you find the site super helpful - it's packed with advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates like the little sex tip films I plan plus other interesting things!
Keep happy, Dr Pam x 
p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate + music including artists/bands (off the top of my head) from Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, Kings of Leon, Bloc Party, Wild Beast (v happy to see them on Jools Holland as have never caught them live), Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Foo Fighters, and so many more to pop like my guilty pleasures of The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports - I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (funny enough not related to Karate). And my biggest loves of all are my hubby and two children.
My 'hates' include...well, I might just keep those to myself!

 

 

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News

Your most common bewteen-the-sheets worries answered...

24/10/2014

The Sun newspaper's been running a "sex week" to give you lots of information and also add some fun between the sheets. Today I've answered your most common sex problems for the paper.

Everyone experiences some sort of issue or worry between the sheets at times and I hope the tips here will help you.

Have a blast this weekend, Pamx

The state of British sex lives…

20/10/2014

The Sun newspaper have done a large survey of what’s happening in the nation’s bedrooms and I’ve commented on it.

When it comes to the statistics people’s fantasy lives are really taking off and that’s a really good thing for their sex life.

TODAY’S TIP: By our very nature we are curious and that’s why we fantasise so much. Definitely use your fantasies as a springboard for some sexy chat with your partner.

Happy Monday, Pamx

Positions, positions, positions…

17/10/2014

Couples get stuck in one or two favourite positions and some partners end up bored in the bedroom. So in my Sun newspaper online column today I’ve described six sizzling positions which are fantastic for couples who might be feeling a little bit body shy, maybe feel they’ve let themselves go a bit, and want some fairly subtle things to try.

Some of the tips are subtle and some are a bit more racy.

These are perfect to make your weekend go with a bang, Pamx

Could they be leading a double life? Plus how to be friendly with your ex...

16/10/2014

It seems unthinkable but a fair few women get conned by men who lead a double life with two families. In today’s Sun newspaper I’ve commented on a sad story of a man who got away with it for far too long

Also in today's Sun newspaper I have some tips for people who want to stay friendly with their ex. Evidently Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have remained good friends and that can only be good for their two children. I hope these tips help.

TODAY’S TIP: As I say in the article on double lives if you think questions need answering about missing hours, missing days and even missing weeks then you need to get to the bottom of it. It can happen to women who think nothing like that could ever happened to them.

Good luck, Pamx

Spot the signs of a love cheat…

14/10/2014

Can you really spot if your partner is cheating or not? Although it’s not fool proof there are some key signs to look for and I’ve written about a few of them in today’s Sun newspaper.

Remember that even a partner shows all of these signs there could still be another explanation.

TODAY’S TIP: in the meantime, before you go pointing the finger of suspicion at a partner, if you have a history of jealousy then remember to take your time. Are you overly jealous and seeing things that aren’t there or is your partner actually behaving differently?

Wishing you the best, Pamx

Body envy can be damaging to your self-esteem….

12/10/2014

We talk about the importance of having a healthy body image and one aspect to this is identifying if you’re prone to ‘body-envy’. I’ve devised a quiz for the Daily Mail online - if you struggle with this I hope you find the advice helpful at the end of the quiz

Take care of yourself, Pamx

A love cheat with a whole lot of making up to do…

07/10/2014

In today’s Sun newspaper I’ve commented on an extraordinary story of infidelity. Here’s the link to that story with some of my advice to overcoming such betrayal.

TODAY’S TIP: 60% of couples decide to stay together after infidelity but they have to work hard at rebuilding the trust. Take it one day at a time as you try to overcome the hurt and pain. The love cheat has to show a whole lot of patience – they’d obviously love it if their partner could forgive them and move on quickly - but the person who’s been betrayed needs to take time to really heal.

Take care of yourself, Pamx

Wear It For Autism fashion event tonight…

06/10/2014

I’m so looking forward to the Wear It For Autism tonight in central London – it supports Anna Kennedy 0BE and her online charity.

As one of the judges it was a terribly difficult decision to select the winners in each category and tonight they’ll strut down the catwalk showing their complete makeover from wardrobe to hair and make-up.

TODAY’S TIP: So many people care for family members with a variety of challenges and it’s nice when they get a treat. Maybe you know someone in your neighbourhood who could do with some of your time or anything else you think might help their situation.

We have to look out for each other.

Happy Monday, Pamx

Phone in about your in-laws on ITV This Morning! And sex with your ex? Plus GIVEAWAY

03/10/2014

If you’ve got problems with your in-laws - or you have problems with your son- or daughter-in-law then I hope you’ll phone in on ITV This Morning.

I look forward to taking calls about this issue affecting so many families.

Also in my Sun newspaper online column today I have lots of tips about how to handle your partner’s ex and also a fantastic giveaway from the lovely people at Ann Summers!

Happy Friday, Pamx

Life, love and sex dilemmas…

02/10/2014

This month for my life coaching and agony aunt column for Magnet magazine I’ve covered all sorts of dilemmas including an office romance and a recurring nightmare.

TODAY’S TIP: If you can calm down and take control of your emotional reaction to a hurdle, problem or dilemma, you can clear your mind to face it better. If your emotions are spinning out of control it's far harder to think clearly. Of course allow powerful emotions to run their course but beware of making decisions until they do.

So much of life is about facing dilemmas - learning from them and hopefully not repeating certain mistakes.

Good luck, Pamx

 

Books

The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!


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Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!


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How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.


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Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!


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Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.


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Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.


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The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

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The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

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Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!


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Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.


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Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'


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Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!


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