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About Me

Thanks for checking out my site - the entire point is free self-help with agony aunt-style advice on lots of topics. That said, no article (in full or in part) may be reprinted or used without my premission.

I work as an agony aunt, life and solutions coach, commentator and writer on sex, relationships, and behaviour.

I hope you'll find the articles & tips useful! I've sorted them into the main areas of: sex, love & relationships, parenting, life coaching, and others.

Please get in touch at 'e-mail me' on my homepage - I'd love to answer every e-mail but as I run my site without assistance and work full-time sadly I can't.

In my work as an agony aunt, solutions coach and writer I've written 14 self-help books, my latest are Sex Academy, How to be a Happy Human and The Emotional Eater's Diet. I'm also...

Read More » occasional broadcaster doing a bit of radio & TV.

For over three years I've had a fortnightly online sex and love advice column for the Sun newspaper - please do visit the Sun online - a new column goes live every other Friday full of top tips on sex and love.

Recently I did a fun project as a regular celebrity news/relationships commentator on a small satellite show and I pop up on different TV programmes as an agony aunt and social commentator like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Loose Women, Sky News, and the spin off Big Brother programmes.

Since 1997 I've presented radio programmes and was over-the-moon to win a Sony radio award when I was at Heart FM London here I presented shows for five years. I then presented for 4 1/2 years on LBC before going freelance. Since then I've presented and 'guested' on a huge number of BBC regional stations inclduing BBC London, Western regions and Surrey and Sussex.

For two years I had a weekly agony slot on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as a weekly dream analysis slot on George Lamb's previous BBC 6 Music shows.

I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology - my BSc Hons in psychology from a London university, MPhil in psychology from the London teaching hospital I received my PhD from + ad hoc counselling-type and self-improvement/life-coaching courses. I'm a Chartered Research, Teaching & Academic psychologist with the BPS.

I have worked with a number of charities and presently am a patron of Kids in the Middle that advises parents who are breaking up on how to help their children during this difficult time.

It's fun writing a weekly 'Love Doc' page for Miss Independent Woman website - check them out here! And I'm starting a new agony column with the Yummy Mummy website.

I also support the fantastic work of Kevin Healey and to his autism bullying campaign as well as being a founding member of Kids in the Middle - a charity that aims to promote awareness in parents who are breaking up and how this can affect their children.

I'm delighted to support Saying Goodbye a  charity supporting and providing national services for those who have suffered a miscarriage, still birth or early years loss. 

No two days are the same and I enjoy fresh challenges and always look for new things to do having written self-help columns and articles for many websites and magazines.

I hope you find the site helpful - it's packed with tips and advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates!

Keep happy, keep hopeful, Dr Pam x

p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate (I'm a complete chocoholic) + music including artists/bands - off the top of my head  and in a completely random order - Foos, Kings of Leon, Royal Blood, Pulled Apart by Horses, Jack White, Mallory Knox, Bloc Party, XX, The Drums, Wild Beasts, Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Strokes, The Dead Weather, Them Crooked Vultures, Alabama Shakes, Biffy Clyro, Enter Shakari, MGMT, Band of Horses, Arcade Fire, White Lies, Example, Calvin Harris, Mark Ronson, Black Keys, Plan B, MIA, Tinie Tempah, Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, JayZ, plus AWOL Nation, TEED, Wretch 32, Angel, Jay James Picton, Kendrick Lamar, Spector, Wolfgang, Ed Sheeran and Liam Bailey, Ben Howard, plus dubstep Magnetic Man, Modestep, Nero and Katy B + so many more... like poptastic (and sometimes guilty) pleasures like The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Britney, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, Robert Harris, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba, Cambodia, Thailand and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports like water skiing, skiing, paragliding, hiking and I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (not related to Karate).


I pop up on different TV programmes like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Big Brother's Little Brother, GMTV, Loose Women and others. I've presented radio programmes since 1997 and won a Sony radio award when I was at Heart 106.2 FM. Think that's the only award I've ever won - I'm not counting a fashion award I won in high school, for creating an entire outfit out of purple, as quite frankly my fashion sense nowadays could be politely described as "eclectic".
I presently do two weekly radio slots - have been doing Wednesdays on George Lamb's BBC 6 Music show for months, but when he moves to weekends in December I'll be doing contributions to his new shows. Tuesdays on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as lots of freelancing on various stations - popping up weekly on stations around the country.
I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology + counselling-type areas.
No two days are the same as quite frankly I have a low boredom threshold - I need fresh challenges and I'm always looking for new things to do.
I write about love, sex, life - and even celebrities' behaviour - for newspapers like The Express, The Sun, The Times and others, magazines like Love it! and Scarlet plus the 'glossies' like Cosmo, Glamour, Red, Now, More, and so on. Check out my new weekly column on and my regular contributions to, as well as the, Men's Health, Orange and GQ websites amongst others. 
I hope you find the site super helpful - it's packed with advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates like the little sex tip films I plan plus other interesting things!
Keep happy, Dr Pam x 
p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate + music including artists/bands (off the top of my head) from Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, Kings of Leon, Bloc Party, Wild Beast (v happy to see them on Jools Holland as have never caught them live), Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Foo Fighters, and so many more to pop like my guilty pleasures of The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports - I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (funny enough not related to Karate). And my biggest loves of all are my hubby and two children.
My 'hates' include...well, I might just keep those to myself!



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Sexy Spring GIVEAWAY courtesy of Lady Prelox and Ann Summers!


It's finally spring! And as I said in my latest Sun newspaper online column, there is no better time to liven up your sex life.

One of the tips I include is checking out the supplement Lady Prelox - a completely natural product designed to increase your sexual desire and pleasure, you can do just that!

I've teamed up the lovely people at Ann Summers and Lady Prelox to celebrate a sexy start to spring for you.

WIN two packs of Lady Prelox (RRP £37.95 PER pack) and a sexy spring goody bag, including a Rampant Rabbit The Golden One Special Edition and The Lubricating One lube from the sexy people at Ann Summers plus a luxury milk chocolate Easter Egg filled with Pink Marc de Champagne truffles.

This giveaway is worth £145 total!

Just go onto my Twitter feed (@DrPamSpurr – on my homepage) and retweet the tweet about the competition – and follow on twitter – to be in with a chance to win. The competition will run from Wednesday, March 25th through Friday, March 27th.

Happy spring! Pam x

Her fiance and sister cheated on her...


Once again you may be astounded by the story of betrayal I've commented on in today's Sun newspaper. And the painful and extraordinary way this woman found out her fiance was cheating.

It's surprisingly how many stories I hear of family members cheating on each other. The problem is if - as in this story - you're attracted to your sister's partner, you're around them all the time. It means there's a lot of access to each other and opportunity to plan secret meet ups.

There is never an excuse for cheating, always face the fact you're attracted to another person. Let your partner know – it may be a super tough conversation but the alternative is heartbreaking and disastrous.

Take care, Pamx

Her dilemma: her boyfriends in a band, he’s fit and she’s worried he’ll cheat…


Apologies I haven’t done my regular life coach/agony aunt Q & A on my site in recent weeks but life has been so busy. Thank you for your emails and I’ve selected a random one today to answer.

Do check it out on my homepage, happy Monday, Pamx

Put some spring sizzle into your sex life! Plus GIVEAWAY…


It’s that time for my fortnightly Sun newspaper online sex and love column. As it’s officially Spring today it’s all about spring cleaning your sex life.

There are lots of tips to put to use this weekend and a fantastic giveaway from Lovehoney. Two lucky readers will win the giveaway.

Always aim to give you a fun weekend, Pamx

The audacious way a love rat used his partner…


I always think I’ve heard it all until I get another love cheat story to comment on in the Sun newspaper. Today’s love cheat takes the cake for the audacious way he used his partner to drive him over to his mistress’s house. Check out the story and my advice. 

TODAY’S TIP: I’ve spoken to many love cheats about why they do it – and how they do it. Some have confessed to me that sometimes doing things boldly, right underneath their partner’s nose, means they get away with it.

Keep wise if you’ve got suspicions, Pamx

Love cheat caught on Facebook. And selfies and reclaiming sexual confidence…


In today’s Sun newspaper commented on yet another love cheat getting caught out. This time his wife caught him on Facebook - pictured with his mistress - I think this guy needs to add a few more brain cells.

On a very different note I’ve also commented on Karen Danczuk and how she has discussed that taking sexy selfies has helped her reclaim her sexual confidence. As I stress in my comment every survivor of childhood abuse must get appropriate support.

And also they must move forward in ways that work for them. Some survivors might find it helpful to reclaim their sexuality in ways that Karen has and others wouldn't find that helpful at all.

I hope you get the support you need if you're an adult survivor from a supportive service like NAPAC. 

Please take care of yourself, Pamx

Sex, love and life dilemmas...


This month in my Magnet magazine agony aunt and life coach column I've tackled problems from a man who worries his partner is so quiet in bed, to someone who's at risk at repeating a bad relationship cycle, as well as a question about grief and other issues.

I hope if any of these dilemmas apply to you that one or two pieces of advice might be helpful.

The page takes a minute or 2 to load...sorry!
Take care of yourself, Pamx


Green eyed monster rearing its head in the bedroom? Tinder dating surprise! Plus GIVEAWAY!


Sexual jealousy's a big problem for many people. You know the kind of thing – where you worry their ex-partner was better in bed than you are.

In todays Sun newspaper online Ive written my column about sexual jealousy.

I hope the tips help you move forward if you're jealous about your partner’s ex. And there are plenty of sexy suggestions to boost your bedroom confidence. 

Plus two lucky readers will win a phenomenal vibrator and lubricant gift set from the lovely people at Ann Summers.

Also in today's Sun I've commented about a Tinder dating story with an unexpected ending.

I always say widen your circle of opportunity if you’re single looking for love. Because if you stick to your so-called ‘type’ you may not meet them. Here's one woman’s surprise story of falling in love. 

TODAY’S TIP: You widen your circle of opportunity when you give unexpected people a chance. Dump that romantic/dating checklist that holds you back from opening your eyes to some really great people.

Have a lovely weekend - hopefully a little sexier with the tips in my column, take care Pamx

In a romance but your boyfriend is in a bromance? Check this TV opportunity...


This sounds like a fun TV opportunity! If you're in a relationship but your boyfriend is in a bromance it could be for you... Check this link!

Interpreting dreams on Heart FM! Plus 'where’s my sex life gone' – dilemma…


First thing today I’m interpreting one listener’s recurring dream for the Heart FM Wales breakfast show. Always love looking at the symbolism and potential meaning in a dream.

In my Yummy Mummy Beauty website column I tackle where’s my sex life gone? 

Take care of each other, Pamx


The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!

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Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!

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How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.

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Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!

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Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.

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Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.

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The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

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The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

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Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!

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Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.

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Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'

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Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!

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