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About Me

Thanks for checking out my site - the entire point is free self-help with agony aunt-style advice on lots of topics. That said, no article (in full or in part) may be reprinted or used without my premission.

I work as an agony aunt, life and solutions coach, commentator and writer on sex, relationships, and behaviour.

I hope you'll find the articles & tips useful! I've sorted them into the main areas of: sex, love & relationships, parenting, life coaching, and others.

Please get in touch at 'e-mail me' on my homepage - I'd love to answer every e-mail but as I run my site without assistance and work full-time sadly I can't.

In my work as an agony aunt, solutions coach and writer I've written 14 self-help books, my latest are Sex Academy, How to be a Happy Human and The Emotional Eater's Diet. I'm also...

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...an occasional broadcaster doing a bit of radio & TV.

For over three years I've had a fortnightly online sex and love advice column for the Sun newspaper - please do visit the Sun online - a new column goes live every other Friday full of top tips on sex and love.

Recently I did a fun project as a regular celebrity news/relationships commentator on a small satellite show and I pop up on different TV programmes as an agony aunt and social commentator like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Loose Women, Sky News, and the spin off Big Brother programmes.

Since 1997 I've presented radio programmes and was over-the-moon to win a Sony radio award when I was at Heart FM London here I presented shows for five years. I then presented for 4 1/2 years on LBC before going freelance. Since then I've presented and 'guested' on a huge number of BBC regional stations inclduing BBC London, Western regions and Surrey and Sussex.

For two years I had a weekly agony slot on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as a weekly dream analysis slot on George Lamb's previous BBC 6 Music shows.

I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology - my BSc Hons in psychology from a London university, MPhil in psychology from the London teaching hospital I received my PhD from + ad hoc counselling-type and self-improvement/life-coaching courses. I'm a Chartered Research, Teaching & Academic psychologist with the BPS.

I have worked with a number of charities and presently am a patron of Kids in the Middle that advises parents who are breaking up on how to help their children during this difficult time.

It's fun writing a weekly 'Love Doc' page for Miss Independent Woman website - check them out here! And I'm starting a new agony column with the Yummy Mummy website.

I also support the fantastic work of Kevin Healey and to his autism bullying campaign as well as being a founding member of Kids in the Middle - a charity that aims to promote awareness in parents who are breaking up and how this can affect their children.

I'm delighted to support Saying Goodbye a  charity supporting and providing national services for those who have suffered a miscarriage, still birth or early years loss. 

No two days are the same and I enjoy fresh challenges and always look for new things to do having written self-help columns and articles for many websites and magazines.

I hope you find the site helpful - it's packed with tips and advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates!

Keep happy, keep hopeful, Dr Pam x

p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate (I'm a complete chocoholic) + music including artists/bands - off the top of my head  and in a completely random order - Foos, Kings of Leon, Royal Blood, Pulled Apart by Horses, Jack White, Mallory Knox, Bloc Party, XX, The Drums, Wild Beasts, Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Strokes, The Dead Weather, Them Crooked Vultures, Alabama Shakes, Biffy Clyro, Enter Shakari, MGMT, Band of Horses, Arcade Fire, White Lies, Example, Calvin Harris, Mark Ronson, Black Keys, Plan B, MIA, Tinie Tempah, Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, JayZ, plus AWOL Nation, TEED, Wretch 32, Angel, Jay James Picton, Kendrick Lamar, Spector, Wolfgang, Ed Sheeran and Liam Bailey, Ben Howard, plus dubstep Magnetic Man, Modestep, Nero and Katy B + so many more... like poptastic (and sometimes guilty) pleasures like The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Britney, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, Robert Harris, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba, Cambodia, Thailand and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports like water skiing, skiing, paragliding, hiking and I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (not related to Karate).

 

I pop up on different TV programmes like This Morning, BBC Breakfast, Big Brother's Little Brother, GMTV, Loose Women and others. I've presented radio programmes since 1997 and won a Sony radio award when I was at Heart 106.2 FM. Think that's the only award I've ever won - I'm not counting a fashion award I won in high school, for creating an entire outfit out of purple, as quite frankly my fashion sense nowadays could be politely described as "eclectic".
I presently do two weekly radio slots - have been doing Wednesdays on George Lamb's BBC 6 Music show for months, but when he moves to weekends in December I'll be doing contributions to his new shows. Tuesdays on Tom Dunne's show on Dublin Newstalk radio as well as lots of freelancing on various stations - popping up weekly on stations around the country.
I've previously worked as a psychologist getting my doctorate in psychology from a London teaching hospital where I researched how to help parents whose children had emotional and/or behavioural problems. I've done a number of other courses in psychology + counselling-type areas.
No two days are the same as quite frankly I have a low boredom threshold - I need fresh challenges and I'm always looking for new things to do.
I write about love, sex, life - and even celebrities' behaviour - for newspapers like The Express, The Sun, The Times and others, magazines like Love it! and Scarlet plus the 'glossies' like Cosmo, Glamour, Red, Now, More, and so on. Check out my new weekly column on iVillage.co.uk and my regular contributions to MSN.co.uk, as well as the Goodtoknow.co.uk, Men's Health, Orange and GQ websites amongst others. 
I hope you find the site super helpful - it's packed with advice - and more to come. Keep checking in for updates like the little sex tip films I plan plus other interesting things!
Keep happy, Dr Pam x 
p.s My 'loves' include: anything made of chocolate + music including artists/bands (off the top of my head) from Tinchy Stryder, Dizzee Rascal, Kings of Leon, Bloc Party, Wild Beast (v happy to see them on Jools Holland as have never caught them live), Phoenix, Filthy Dukes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Foo Fighters, and so many more to pop like my guilty pleasures of The Sugababes, Girls Aloud, Take That + great books like anything by John Irving, William Boyd, and Lionel Shriver + travel including places like Peru, Cuba and India + films of all genres + lots of other stuff like going to galleries, the theatre + action sports - I've been a black belt in Shotokan Karate for years but haven't been able to train for a few years due to a major accident (funny enough not related to Karate). And my biggest loves of all are my hubby and two children.
My 'hates' include...well, I might just keep those to myself!

 

 

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News

Give your love life a boost with my sexy spring GIVEAWAY!

27/05/2015

The lovely people at Ann Summers and Lady Prelox have the perfect giveaway to give your love life a lift in time for summer.

You know I always provide lots of sex tips to try here on my website but sometimes our busy lives can leave us a little lacking in desire. That’s where natural libido booster Lady Prelox can help. The natural supplement can also give you more pleasure in the bedroom. Find out how here.

WIN two packs of Lady Prelox (RRP £37.95 per pack) and a sexy summer goody bag including a silicone curved rampant rabbit and blissful bubblegum juicy lube courtesy of Ann Summers.

This giveaway is worth £132 in total for one lucky winner!

Head over to my Twitter @DrPamSpurr (on my homepage), retweet the giveaway and follow me and @LadyPrelox and @Ann_Summers to have a chance to win it.

The giveaway-competition runs from Wednesday, May 27th until a winner is randomly selected and announced on Friday May 29th.

Good luck! Pamx

Check out these cute penguins...

25/05/2015

Oops... not a sure foot between them!

I filmed them in the Galapagos Islands by chance x

Enjoy a sizzling ‘bonk’ holiday...

22/05/2015

The bank holiday weekend has given me a chance to have some fun with my Sun newspaper online sex and relationship column. Hope you enjoy my bonk holiday tips.

Aiming to give your bank holiday some sparkle, Pamx 

Come and join me at Latitude Festival for my sex and love workshop...

21/05/2015

I'm so excited to be part of the Latitude literary stage and I hope if you're going to the festival you'll pop along to my sex and love workshop 9:15 PM Thursday, July 16 – the first night of the festival. That's the link to check out the festival, the lineup and to get tickets.

Take a break from music and comedy and I'll give you some must-have tips to use in your relationships.

It's going to be fun, Pam xxx

Her parents want grandchildren, a foot fetish and more dilemmas…

21/05/2015

Each month in my Magnet magazine column I tackle a range of dilemmas. (Btw, this link takes 20 seconds or so to load)This month is no different and if you’re in these situations I hope the tips are helpful.

And if you’re not facing these dilemmas it can still be interesting seeing what others go through.

Take care of yourself, Pamx

How to handle the man in your life if he's emotionally distant...

20/05/2015

Many men are every bit as good as women at expressing their emotions... and not all women are great at expressing them.

However, on the whole research shows more men struggle with expressing themselves at an emotional level than women.

I've written about a few of the main reasons why this is so and included some tips on how to handle this and deepen your relationship in this Yahoo lifestyle article.

Maybe some of this will resonate with you and your situation. Good luck, Pam x


Back on Big Brother's Bit on the Side and my surreal chat with Russell Brand…

19/05/2015

It was fantastic to join Rylan Clark on the Big Brother spin-off show last night despite having half a brain from jetlag. Over 30 hours I had five flights to get back from the Galapagos Islands to London on Sunday – a personal record for flying.

Here’s the link to the Russell Brand podcast (episode 21) when I was his guest – I join him and Matt for the last quarter hour chatting about random things from Arthur the allergic cat to sexual abstinence...a bit surreal!

Take care, Pamx

The Royal baby has many parents thinking about their sex lives after baby arrives…

01/05/2015

Becoming a parent is one of the most rewarding experiences in life. And yes you’re on your knees with exhaustion but you realise how blessed you are to have a child.

Sometimes the birth of a baby can lead to a couple growing apart in the bedroom. In my Sun newspaper online column today I’ve written lots of tips to help you keep the sizzle in your sex life once you become parents.

I’ll post a link later when it goes live on their website.

Have a lovely weekend, Pamx

New mothers often worry about tightness after giving birth...

29/04/2015

If you're concerned about your pelvic floor having recently become a mother then do check out my latest column for Yummy Mummy Beauty.

I answer a dilemma about this and there's lots you can do!

Even if you haven't had a baby you should use these pelvic floor exercises - for sure - pelvic floor strength gives you better orgasms.

Look after yourself and your body, Pamx

Did you dream of something a bit steamy last night? Were you surprised by it?

28/04/2015

People are often surprised, embarrassed even, by their sex dreams. Let me reassure you 99% of them are absolutely harmless and don’t indicate any underlying issue.

I’ve written an article on some common sex dreams themes and their meanings for Yahoo! lifestyle. Check it out and be reassured.

Happy dreaming, Pamx

 

Books

The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!


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Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!


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How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.


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Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!


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Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.


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Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.


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The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

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The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

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Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!


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Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.


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Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'


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Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!


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