Stop Worrying And Start Living... Here's...
Understanding and Overcoming Your Pre-Wedding Jitters and On-the-day Nerves...
Deciding to get married is one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make. Apart from deciding to have children or not it ranks at the top of life-changing moments.
Rest assured pre-wedding jitters and nerves on the day are completely natural. Heck, you angst over what car to buy or where to live so why wouldn't you worry about getting it right with the woman you're going to love, honour and cherish… and from her perspective, obey!
Before the Big Day
The biggest question to play on your mind, probably making you break out in a nervous sweat is: Is she really the one? This is a completely natural question to ask. It doesn't mean you're not in love with her. It doesn't mean you're not ready to settle down. It means you're human and part of that is about questioning the decisions that’ll change your life for good.
How to put these jitters right -
*When these thoughts strike, running around your mind, make a list of all the reasons you love her - and I mean all of them, big and small. ‘Think in ink’ and write it down. Keep that list in your wallet so you can check it anytime.
*Try thought stopping - when a worry comes to mind, close your eyes, visualise her face and tell yourself, "She's the one for me!"
*Ring her up for some fun and flirty conversation to get a better vibe going. Once you hear her sexy voice, chat about your plans for the evening, and give each other kisses down the phone, everything’s put in perspective.
*Definitely let her know if too much talk of wedding plans is "getting" to you. Of course you should do this tactfully. Many men tell me they feel overwhelmed in the run-up to the wedding because everything becomes about the day. It's easier to lose sight of all you share - and get those jitters - when wedding conversations/plans are out of control.
*A little bit of tactful honesty goes a long way. You don't want to panic her but at the same time if you’re getting married you should be able to discuss even the difficult issues of life. Open up a loving and thoughtful conversation by asking if she ever gets "nervous about the whole thing". Reassure her that you've both made the right decision but you'd like to share any worries.
Am I making the right decision to marry? The second biggest question causing jitters is wondering why you haven't just decided to live together. Why have all the fuss and bother of the ceremony?
Again, simply reassuring yourself that you both feel marriage is the right choice can go a long way. Use the above strategies - the reasons why you love her, thinking in ink, etc. - to put the stoppers on this question.
On The Big Day
Just as brides do, men have a few key worries on the day.
*First off, looking your best weighs on many grooms’ minds. It's crucial to try on your suit a day or two beforehand just in case you've had any weight changes (perhaps from all your nerves!). Sort it now and you'll look handsome on the day.
*Do a ‘dress run’ - put on the works and then practice holding yourself confidently in front of a mirror. Hold onto this strong image of yourself as the confident groom as you wait at the altar.
*Be prepared and lay everything out the night before. You don't want to search high and low on the morning for those special cufflinks, etc.
*If there's going to be a bride-groom first dance practice with your bride-to-be if you're used to clubbing but not to doing a slow dance in a relaxed way.
*When it comes to giving a speech as a newly married man thanking your father-in-law, praising your bride, etc., know what you're going to say. Just as the best man should practice his speech you should too. Definitely watch the alcohol intake pre-speech - a slurring groom is not impressive!
*Relax and enjoy - it's your day, you're in love, you're starting a new phase of your life and have everything to be happy about and little to worry about!
What If Your Nerves Are More Than Nerves?
Deep down if you know you're marrying for the wrong reasons - she pressured you into it, you’ve fallen for someone else, you want to be free, etc. - you're going to have to face her and break it off. Believe me you won't be the first man (or woman!) that changes their mind after the wedding invitations have gone out.
Better to break it off now than to go down the aisle and have to go through the whole process of divorce very soon down the line.
A similar article was published on MSN UK
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!