Understanding and Overcoming Your Pre-Wedding Jitters and On-the-day...
How Likely Are You To Have An Affair?
I say there are three main negative phases in a relationship that make an affair more likely. Find out if you're entering the danger zone.
A number of studies have come up with quite staggering statistics when it comes to how many people are unfaithful. Figures have ranged from 25 to 40 per cent of people having an affair at some point in their life , not necessarily in their present relationship. A recent one found that people in their Fifties a re the most likely to cheat. Typically this involves a mid-life type crisis where a person decides they "want more" out of life and think they'll find it in a fling.
But what if we could stop people entering the "danger zone" where they're likely to have an affair? Prevention is definitely better than cure as in my professional life I've seen the huge toll in terms of human heartbreak that infidelity causes.
At an anecdotal level I've identified three negative phases in a relationship that are likely to lead you into the danger zone where you're prone to seek love and attention and sexual thrills outside of your relationship. These are:
Phase One - The Same Old Routine
Your relationship has become a tired routine . Your sex life's got into a rut. There's no sparkle in your life and you may be quite bored with your partner. Bu t at this point you're not concerned about it as you have some vague notion that "things will improve". You assume everyone goes through this in a long-term relationship.
Phase Two - Neglect And Negativity
Nothing's changed and you start to feel resentment that your partner doesn't realise things are stale and tired. You might feel hurt or even angry about being "neglected" . You may be spending more time apart due to the demands of career and family. You argue frequently without sorting differences out.
Phase Three - Temptation And Opportunity
Time moves on with no improvement and you start to enjoy the attention you receive from others. You've a secret emotional life where you daydream of what life would be like if you weren't with your present partner. You've entered the danger zone and are vulnerable to an affair.
Many don't realise that they've reached one of these phases. Take my Danger Zone Checklist to see where you stand. Circle the most appropriate answer:
1/ Is your relationship in a rut?
2/ Do you feel resentful to your partner?
3/ Is your sex-life non-existent or unfulfilling?
4/ Have you fantasised about what it'd be like to be free of this relationship?
5/ Has anyone (colleague, neighbour, someone at your gym) taken your fancy?
6/ Have you found yourself flirting in a way you previously wouldn't?
7/ Do you go out of your way to bump into someone you're attracted to? (Like at work)
8/ Do you think your partner puts less in your relationship?
9/ Do you long to be made to feel special ?
10/ Have you lied about where you're going or whom you're seeing?
Phase One - Yes answers to Nos 1. & 3. only
– You're at low risk at this present time of having an affair. Now's the time to get out of the rut you're in and invigorate your relationship. Much of the advice below can help prevent the downward slide in your relationship.
Phase Two - Yes answers to Nos 1., 3. + 2., 4. & 8.
– You've a moderate risk of having an affair. The following the advice will help you.
Phase Three - Yes answers to the majority of questions.
– You're definitely at high risk of having an affair if it hasn't already started! Not only is your relationship lacklustre but you feel neglected and are actively fantasising about or flirting with another.
Published in the Express Newspaper
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!