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Psychologists continue their debate about whether women really do speak that much more than men. One camp showing women speak twice or three times as much and the other camps says there's no significant differences.
I say the real issue is not the volume of speech but what the genders mean when saying something. There's vast differences between the way we use language. Here's my guide to deciphering some common phrases.
At the end of a row saying, "Have it your way, then!"
Men mean: "I give up, I don't have the will to continue this argument!"
Women mean: "I'll find a way to get my way later!"
On being bought a birthday present saying, "Just get me something simple."
Men mean: "Really, a tie or shirt is fine."
Women mean: "It better be something thoughtful and romantic!"
On the topic of drinking saying, "I’m concerned how much you've been drinking lately."
Men mean: "You’re no fun when you drink too much."
Women mean: "You're on a slippery slope to the street corner!"
When discussing sex saying, "We don't have as much time for sex as we used to."
Men mean: "I'm fine with quickies!"
Women mean: "You don't find me attractive anymore."
When discussing where to go on an evening out saying, "You decide."
Men mean: "Further debate will drive me mad!"
Women mean: "As long as it’s not something you know I won’t like!"
On the topic of cooking dinner saying, "Let me show you how I do it."
Men mean: "I'm the Hunter, watch me deal with the “catch”!”
Women mean: "You’re making a complete hash of it!"
2. On breaking-up with someone saying:, "You deserve someone better than me."
Men mean: "I'd rather play the field."
Women mean: "How can I let this boring git down gently?"
3. On spending time with the mother-in-law saying, "You enjoy some time with her on your own."
Men mean: "I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than spend time with your mother!"
Women mean: "She doesn't like me anyway so why should I put up with her?"
4. On seeing their partner struggle to do something saying, "Here, let me help you with that."
Men mean: "Honestly, it's not that hard to work a remote!"
Women mean: “What kind of man are you?”
5. When feeling stressed saying, "I just need a little time to myself."
Men mean: "For pity's sake don't bombard me with questions about what’s making me feel this way!"
Women mean: "Please give me a big, manly hug so I don't feel alone!"
6. After a tough day saying, "I hope we’re having a quiet evening."
Men mean: "I want a quiet evening!"
Women mean: "Let's talk about our days over dinner."
7. About spending time with your best friend saying, "I don't really enjoy Steven’s/Angela's company."
Men mean: "Give me the earplugs up - that woman drones on!"
Women mean: "He's such a bad influence on you!"
8. About doing the weekly shop saying, "No, do take the shopping-list, it’ll help."
Men mean: "Can you just stick to the list and not break the bank?"
Women mean: "Can you please not buy those random brands you do!"
And that's my final word on the subject. But being a woman what I really mean is I have about three other relevant angles I want to add!
Published in The Express Newspaper
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!