Squaring up to Your Shynes...
If you suffer with shyness...
Some Questions And Things Men Wonder/Worry About
Why do we reach our sexual peak before women?
The main reason why men reach their sexual peak earlier is due to the origin of their physical function and ability. Our ancient ancestors life-spans were less than half of ours and so men needed to perform at a young and vigorous age for successful mating. Just because advances in medicine have hugely increased our life-span over the last 150 years, this doesn't mean that men function physically for a longer period of time in direct proportion to the longer life-span. Women of course are affected by all sorts of physical constraints on their sex drive however they don't have the issue of having to maintain an erection, etc., for full sexual enjoyment.
Why does our sexual appetite decrease with age?
There are many reasons why men's sexual appetites decrease with age - first off every single sense is blunted. For example eyesight gets dimmed, smell gets dulled and this sensation of touch and taste also get affected. Add to this the fact that you're circulation slows down and you have less energy all impact on sex drive. A man may also be on medication for different illnesses that diminish his drive as well as coming to a point in a relationship where it may be more platonic than passionate.
Why don’t we notice when she has had her hair done or bought some new shoes?
Men are very goal orientated and traditionally pay less attention to detail than overall purpose. When a guy sees his girlfriend the purpose is to have fun and if he's lucky get his rocks off. It's not to compare fashion notes and to notice the little details of her life. This is the opposite to women who love to be noticed - little details and all - and will also notice things on her man like a new hairstyle or shoes. Even if his ‘new hairstyle’ has simply come from throwing a sweatshirt on and leaving it messed-up - she doesn't know she just sees it’s new!
Why are we so competitive?
Again looking at your genes - not in them! - men (and women) are deeply driven to compete in all ways in the environment. Once upon a time this was all about basic survival - in life and death situation. Now it’s about surviving at the best possible level in life which means competing in all aspects of life: earn more, eat well, go to nice places, excel at work and sport, where nice clothes and have the best possible partner.
Why do men swear? Is it to relieve stress?
Every man is different when it comes to swearing. Some swear all the time because they simply don't know how to express themselves in a more articulate fashion. Others swear simply to sound "blokey". Some men use swearing to emphasise a point and get a reaction. Swearing can also be a "male-territory" issue - with certain types of swearing they keep women out of a conversation or at a distance.
Why do we tell dirty jokes?
Telling dirty jokes is all about male-bonding and staying connected to youthful male exuberance. Face it, the guy who comes up with the next great dirty joke and circulates it to his pals is seen as cool. The better you are at telling jokes the more admiration you receive from other men. Again it's about putting a boundary round men-only parts of your life. It separates "us from them "where you don't think women will get the joke.
Why do we like to look after women?
Men like to look after women because it gives them a sense of power and superiority. It's a big ego boost to think a woman's dependent on you. Lots of women play the game but I can assure you they control a lot of what’s going on – if not most!
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!