Squaring up to Your Shynes...
If you suffer with shyness...
From platonic relationship, to one night stand, to affair
some questions and answers:
Is it easy to define platonic relationship - and if so, what is it?
At a "pure" level platonic friendship doesn’t involve sexual desire and need. However, as with all close relationships the dynamics change from time to time. This means one or both people might find their feelings deepen into sexual territory. In a truly platonic relationship they would be able to talk these things through. However if they’ve always harboured a secret desire for the other it's harder to be honest about this.
Can a platonic relationship easily develop into a one night stand/affair - or is it LESS likely to than a frienship that's always had sexual frisson?
Flirty friendships often stay just that. Because of the sexual frisson both people have their needs met for flirty fun and don't need to take it further. However when a platonic relationship develops into more it's usually because there's been some deeper emotional needs met through the closeness the two people have been sharing. Then if one person has a problem, they know they can count on the platonic friend. But there's a risk the emotional need sometimes spills over a sexual need when they are vulnerable.
Why do some one night stands develop into full blown affairs, and some stay as just a one night event?
There are many reasons why some one night stands stay just that. For example, it wasn't as good as you thought it’d be, you got the urge out of your system, it made you realise you were getting into risky territory. Those that spill over into full I've and blown affairs have been electric, satisfying, exciting and both people decide to make it into more.
What is the advice for man/woman couples who want to stay platonic friends without going further sexually OR upsetting any respective partners?
To prevent upsetting your partner - put your partner first! If you yawn when your partner rings you but get all giggly and conspiratorial when your platonic pal does, how do you think your partner will feel? The best way of judging whether your platonic relationship could spell trouble is to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Imagine how you'd feel if they were investing that much energy into a platonic friendship.
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
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My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
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