Title

Getting Together Again?

Affair-Proof Your Relationship

The Ultimate Christmas Relationship Survival Guide...

Understanding and Overcoming Your Pre-Wedding Jitters and On-the-day Nerves...

Getting Together Again...

Excuses at the Ready ...

How to Re-light Your Fire - And Make the Second Time around a Success!

Two People, But One-sided...

Some thoughts on people with love Plan-Bs

Passion Fatigue...

How to Walk Away from an Unhappy Relationship...

Subconscious Sabotage...

Whatever Makes You Happy...

Money does matter...

Body Image Nightmare...

Understanding and Overcoming Your Pre-Wedding Jitters and On-the-day Nerves –

Age-gap anxiety...

Friends Connected at the Hip & Dating...

Marriage SOS...

Dating Again after a Breakup...

Laughed straight between the sheets....

Too Good to be True...

Beware the Mention of the Exes...

Murder on the Dance Floor....

Lusting after Another Love...

The Rise of the Plan B Pact...

How Romance Can Be like Extracting Teeth...

Credit Crunch Couples...

Christmas time advice for struggling couples...

Third-Party Interference...

Opposites That Don't Attract...

The Female Self-Destruct Button

The Convenience of Compartments...

Unlikely Apologies...

Masculine Confidences

The Chill Look of Contempt...

He/She Isn't the Person That I Settled Down With....

Dating at a Distance...

The Imperfect Perfectionists...

Why He Doesn't Ring When He Says He Will...

The Curse Of The Competitive Couples...

It Seemed So Right, Now It’s So Wrong....

I married my mother...

Never Under-estimate a GSOH...

Don't Get Too Comfortable...

Why Not Indulge Him?

Bickering Versus A Good Old Barney....

Pre-Wedding Jitters? Join the Crowd...

Do They Really Mean It?

Never Underestimate The Power Of Affection And Touch ...

The Facts About Flirtatious Behaviour...

He Has A Nose Like Groucho Marx

What Do We Lose When We Gain A New Lover?

When your partner reflects on you...

How to Get Things Started When You Meet Someone New

Advice for struggling couples:...

A Guide to Having A Happy Engagement ...

Use the days between Xmas and New Year to recharge your relationship

How to Get Back into the Dating Game

Whose Chat-up Line Is It Anyway?

10 Steps to Overcome the Green Eyed Monster

How Love Unrequited Links so Many of Our Hearts

How to Breakup Amicably...

Beware of the Love Pirates...Here is a warning about the lads who will capture your heart

Love is in the air - seven signs that say he's attracted to you!

The Best Dating Tips Ever...

Whirlwind Weddings – Too Much, Too Soon!

Adultery and betrayal, here are some things you might want to consider

Does Your Relationship Need Resuscitation? Welcome to the crowd...

Has Your Man Disappeared into His Communication ‘Cave’?

Kissing tips that work!

When the Internet Comes between You

Bridge That Glaring Age Gap

The Ultimate Couple's Communication Guide

QUIZ: What's Your Love Profile?

Try these love challenges (1)

Understanding Men

A Few Points About Some Male Personality Types -

Try these love challenges (2)

Become An Action Woman To Find Love

Try these love challenges (3)

Single Women - Personal Growth

Try these love challenges (4)

"Couple time" at the weekend is crucial!

When You and Mr Right Want Different Things

Relationship damage-limitation: quick fix communication tips -

The three tell tale signs you aren't quite over your ex

Some points about men who might give you "mad cow disease"

A Few Thoughts on Successful Relationships

Five Top Tips for Long Distance Relationships

Notes on when to talk about BABIES -

The Stages of Relationships

A few top communication tips!

Dating after a break-up

Keeping positive when you want to start dating again!

Finding love and fun on holiday!

When you "down date"

Dating "firsts"

Beware - the problems with Internet dating!

First dates - some dos and don'ts!

More thoughts on first dates!

Some top dating tips!

Couples - put your relationship through an MOT!

Top speed dating tips!

The key to looking interested not desperate when dating!

My Thoughts on Pre-Marital Counselling

Do You Recognise Yourself in These Romantic Profiles?

Making Compromises or Being under Someone's Thumb?

Some Thoughts on Adolescent Relationship Worries

A Few Thoughts on Broken Hearts

When He Pays Too Much Attention to TV, Computer Games or gadgets!

Are You Staying with Him or Her Because of Your Lifestyle?

Some Questions And Things Men Wonder/Worry About

From platonic relationship, to one night stand, to affair

An Affair Doesn't Necessarily Spell The End

Nine Things You Should Never Say To Your New Love!

Get Some Va Va Va-voom for Valentines!

What Happened To The Innocence Of Valentine's?

QUIZ: What Every Woman Who Wants To Marry Should Know!

Christmas-proof Your Relationship For The Fraught Holiday Season!

Why Mismatched Couples Should Beware!

You Can Get Out Of An Abusive Or Violent Relationship!

Just How Manly A Man Do You Want?

Understanding The McCartney's War Of Words When They Divorced

Toy Boys - The Latest Celebrity Girls’ Fashion Accessory

What's the real meaning behind his Valentine's gift to you?

Guys - some top tips for buying her a fabulous present!

Stop Worrying About Your Wedding! Beat those wedding-day nerves!

Dating tips for MEN - The Secrets Of Her Body Language

Dating tips for MEN - Your First Date, First Phone Call and First Kiss

Dating tips for MEN - Surefire Ways and Where to Meet Women

Dating tips for MEN - Don't Be a Romantic Loser

Dating tips for WOMEN - Capturing His Attention

Dating tips for WOMEN - What to Do When Things Go Wrong

Dating tips for WOMEN - The Wise Woman's Guide to The Art of Flirting

Dating tips for WOMEN - Love at First Sight

Thoughts on Why Infidelity Is on the Rise

Four Fabulous Steps To Improve Your Relationship!

MEN: You behaved badly - what to do!

Suspect He's Cheating?

Seven Secrets of Successful Long-Distance Relationships

Find Love For Valentine's Day!

QUIZ: Is It Love or Is It Lust?

How To Decipher Male- Versus Female-Speak

QUIZ: Are You A Man's Woman Or A Woman's Woman?

How Marriage Changes Through The Decades

Relationship Guaranteed: 10 Little Tricks To Stay Together

Marriage SOS – Seven steps to save your relationship!

QUIZ: Are You Marrying For The Right Reasons?

The Great Matchmaker Guide

Prevent A Mid-Life Crisis In Your Marriage

The Millisecond Marriages – Too Much, Too Soon!

Money, Men And You

Why Do You Have Repeated Relationship Failures?

Are You Too Needy In Relationships?

The Unique And Quirky Guide To Finding Love In The New Year!

The Nine Signs of a Non-committer

Eight Things You Should Never Say To Your Partner

Has Your Relationship Suffered Over Summer?

The Ten-Minute Window in Relationships

Prevent an Affair!

The Secrets of Seduction

A Warning Call To The Lonely And Single Generation!

QUIZ: How Likely Are You To Have An Affair?

QUIZ: How Insecure Is Your Love?

Could He Be A Natural-Born Cheat?

QUIZ: How Well Do You Know Your Man?

Seven Secrets of Successful Long-Distance Relationships

The New Dating Dilemmas - And How To Cope With Them

The Deal Breakers That Threaten Your Relationship

QUIZ: Don't Ditch Your Relationship Too Soon!

Warning - Divorce Is Dangerous To Your Health!

The Fabulous Flirt Guide

QUIZ: Great EX-pectations - Is Your Ex Jeopardising Your Relationship?

QUIZ: Harness Those Wedding Day Doubts And Nerves

QUIZ: Are You Still Haunted By The Ghost Of Your Ex?

Beware - Your Broken Heart Should Come With A Health Warning!

Heal Your Xmas Holiday Break-up!

A QUICKIE FOR YOU: My top five tips for a long relationship

Some crucial tips to avoid money related arguments!

Top Relationship Tips For Preventing Christmas Stress

Couples: Be careful what you bicker about

QUIZ: Are You Bored To Tears With Your Relationship?

Separated But Still Under The Same Roof!

Six Signs Your First Date Could Signal Love!

The Seven Deadly Signs Your Relationship Is In Trouble

Seven Ways to His Heart You Probably Haven't Thought Of!

QUIZ: The Great Guide To Having A Second Go!

Find Love In A Few Weeks!

Story

A Few Thoughts on Successful Relationships

21/10/2009

A Few Thoughts on Successful Relationships - questions and answers

  • What do you think are the most important elements of a successful relationship?

Two important qualities of successful relationships are to be able to actively listen and to act creatively! Too many couples pay lip service to each other. They fall into the trap of thinking they know what the other wants. They also believe they can ‘read their lover’s mind’ or think they know best. These all too typical attitudes mean they don’t actively listen to their lover.

A couple keys to active listening includes giving your partner time to express them self. You then should also be given this time. Then repeat back to them what you think they mean. For example, if you two have fallen out over how you spend your leisure time and your lover says what they think you two should do, you’d repeat back, ‘So you feel you’d like to spend more time doing things together and less time with our friends?’ They can then confirm or deny that you’ve understood.

The second important quality of acting creatively means finding different types of solutions to everyday hurdles. Try to act flexibly when you two come unstuck over something. Realising that there are always more than one way of doing something and of relating to each other means you’re less likely to become stuck in negative relationship patterns.

* How important is it to feel sexually attracted to one another over time?

The importance of maintaining sexual attraction to each other varies considerably between couples. No couple should feel they have to reach some sort of norm of bedding each other, e.g., three times a week. What’s most important is what works for them. Some couples are more than happy to have less and less sex as other parts of their lives become more important, e.g., raising children or career challenges. Others would feel deeply rejected if their sex life took a back seat. The obvious thing is to talk about your sexual needs with each other in a non-threatening way. Again you should never guess what your partner’s needs are. The key is to negotiate compromises where necessary between, e.g., your sex drives or your desire to be more adventurous. This is much more easy to do when you build in quality one-on-one time with each other where you take the trouble to simply enjoy each other’s company with out distractions. For couples that want to maintain a reasonable level of sexual activity a key consideration is being willing to experiment without feeling threatened or not good enough by the other’s suggestions.

  •  Can a relationship ever survive if one of you is unfaithful?

About 60% of couples who’ve experienced infidelity stay together. And about half of those find that after working through what’s happened their relationship can become stronger! The others sometimes stick with a second-best relationship because they don’t see any option or they stick together despite the fact they never get past the infidelity. The other 40% of couples face either immediate break-up or one that occurs over a period of time where attempts to heal the damage are not successful. Each couple must decide whether it’s worth giving their relationship a shot after infidelity.

 

  •  What problems are presented if you have to spend a lot of time apart?  

I’ve found the four biggest problems couples face in long-distance relationships are a lack of trust, feeling neglected, placing too high expectations on their time together or finding their time together is eaten up by the mundane, but necessary, things of life like DIY, paying bills, shopping for household things, etc.

 

Trust is hard enough to build in a relationship where you see each other regularly but even harder where there’s distance. Many in long distance relationships feel their lover could ‘do more’ to make them feel loved and missed– and so neglect plays a big part. The third problem of placing high expectations on their time together means that they can feel let down when things go wrong, e.g., on their weekend together, one has a headache so sex is off the agenda, their plans backfire etc. So they need to keep a grip on the fact that just because they haven’t seen each other for a fortnight it doesn’t mean it’s going to be all ‘hearts, flowers and moonlight’. The fourth problem of facing things that need to be done in any long term relationship, e.g., they have a flat together, and the weekend the man is home they need to spend fixing some problems can make it feel like their small amount of time is a chore.