Squaring up to Your Shynes...
If you suffer with shyness...
Dating after a break-up
1/ The best way to gauge the right time to start dating again is when you're looking to have some fun with someone new and NOT looking to replace your old relationship or feel desperate for company. There's nothing worse than a sad, desperate single searching for love too soon. Some research suggests that for every year you were in the relationship it takes six months to fully heal - or example, if your relationship lasted three years that means 18 months after your break-up your ex won't be crossing your mind, affecting your judgement, etc.
2/ The best way to boost your confidence is to do something you've been putting off. Ideally select an interest or hobby that your ex didn't like, but you longed to do - get out there and do it! Next it sounds shallow but there's nothing like a “break-up make-over” to lift your mood - go for that new haircut or a new style of clothes. Spend loads of time with people who make the feel good - your best mates, your family, the person who makes you laugh at work. Do anything that puts the zing in your life like taking a dance class or doing an action sport to boost those feel good endorphins!
3/ Dating has changed enormously in the last 10 years. There are huge benefits to internet dating for someone who is time-short and wants to get a look at the person first. But there are just as many drawbacks - the most important being that loads of people lie about themselves or post old pictures when they looked younger on their Net site. Speed dating is the same - with huge benefits where you get to meet a lot people very quickly but many find it daunting and don't “shine” in their allocated three minutes. There are many gimmicky dating events around - lock & key parties, dating in the dark, etc, and if you've got quite a bit of confidence or can get friends to go with you these can be good fun, but again daunting If you're feeling insecure or vulnerable.
4/ The easiest way to tell if you’re rebounding is if you constantly compare your new lover to your ex - then you’re definitely not over your ex. The second best way to tell is if you feel you're passionately in love and it's the "Real Thing" within a couple months of your break-up. 90 per cent of rebound relationships break up - there simply not the real fame can! The best outcome from a rebound relationship is when they fail you're likely to put the brakes on your emotions, slowdown, enjoy being single, and then you'll be ready to find a real love.
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!