Hot Off the Press:

Beware of The Bully Lurking in Your Office

It’s National...


The Ultimate Christmas Relationship Survival Guide...

Understanding and Overcoming Your Pre-Wedding Jitters and On-the-day Nerves...

Getting Together Again...

Excuses at the Ready ...

How to Re-light Your Fire - And Make the Second Time around a Success!

Two People, But One-sided...

Some thoughts on people with love Plan-Bs

Passion Fatigue...

How to Walk Away from an Unhappy Relationship...

Subconscious Sabotage...

Whatever Makes You Happy...

Money does matter...

Body Image Nightmare...

Understanding and Overcoming Your Pre-Wedding Jitters and On-the-day Nerves –

Age-gap anxiety...

Friends Connected at the Hip & Dating...

Marriage SOS...

Dating Again after a Breakup...

Laughed straight between the sheets....

Too Good to be True...

Beware the Mention of the Exes...

Murder on the Dance Floor....

Lusting after Another Love...

The Rise of the Plan B Pact...

How Romance Can Be like Extracting Teeth...

Credit Crunch Couples...

Christmas time advice for struggling couples...

Third-Party Interference...

Opposites That Don't Attract...

The Female Self-Destruct Button

The Convenience of Compartments...

Unlikely Apologies...

Masculine Confidences

The Chill Look of Contempt...

He/She Isn't the Person That I Settled Down With....

Dating at a Distance...

The Imperfect Perfectionists...

Why He Doesn't Ring When He Says He Will...

The Curse Of The Competitive Couples...

It Seemed So Right, Now It’s So Wrong....

I married my mother...

Never Under-estimate a GSOH...

Don't Get Too Comfortable...

Why Not Indulge Him?

Bickering Versus A Good Old Barney....

Pre-Wedding Jitters? Join the Crowd...

Do They Really Mean It?

Never Underestimate The Power Of Affection And Touch ...

The Facts About Flirtatious Behaviour...

He Has A Nose Like Groucho Marx

What Do We Lose When We Gain A New Lover?

When your partner reflects on you...

How to Get Things Started When You Meet Someone New

Advice for struggling couples:...

A Guide to Having A Happy Engagement ...

Use the days between Xmas and New Year to recharge your relationship

How to Get Back into the Dating Game

Whose Chat-up Line Is It Anyway?

10 Steps to Overcome the Green Eyed Monster

How Love Unrequited Links so Many of Our Hearts

How to Breakup Amicably...

Beware of the Love Pirates...Here is a warning about the lads who will capture your heart

Love is in the air - seven signs that say he's attracted to you!

The Best Dating Tips Ever...

Whirlwind Weddings – Too Much, Too Soon!

Adultery and betrayal, here are some things you might want to consider

Does Your Relationship Need Resuscitation? Welcome to the crowd...

Has Your Man Disappeared into His Communication ‘Cave’?

Kissing tips that work!

When the Internet Comes between You

Bridge That Glaring Age Gap

The Ultimate Couple's Communication Guide

QUIZ: What's Your Love Profile?

Try these love challenges (1)

Understanding Men

A Few Points About Some Male Personality Types -

Try these love challenges (2)

Become An Action Woman To Find Love

Try these love challenges (3)

Single Women - Personal Growth

Try these love challenges (4)

"Couple time" at the weekend is crucial!

When You and Mr Right Want Different Things

Relationship damage-limitation: quick fix communication tips -

The three tell tale signs you aren't quite over your ex

Some points about men who might give you "mad cow disease"

A Few Thoughts on Successful Relationships

Five Top Tips for Long Distance Relationships

Notes on when to talk about BABIES -

The Stages of Relationships

A few top communication tips!

Dating after a break-up

Keeping positive when you want to start dating again!

Finding love and fun on holiday!

When you "down date"

Dating "firsts"

Beware - the problems with Internet dating!

First dates - some dos and don'ts!

More thoughts on first dates!

Some top dating tips!

Couples - put your relationship through an MOT!

Top speed dating tips!

The key to looking interested not desperate when dating!

My Thoughts on Pre-Marital Counselling

Do You Recognise Yourself in These Romantic Profiles?

Making Compromises or Being under Someone's Thumb?

Some Thoughts on Adolescent Relationship Worries

A Few Thoughts on Broken Hearts

When He Pays Too Much Attention to TV, Computer Games or gadgets!

Are You Staying with Him or Her Because of Your Lifestyle?

Some Questions And Things Men Wonder/Worry About

From platonic relationship, to one night stand, to affair

An Affair Doesn't Necessarily Spell The End

Nine Things You Should Never Say To Your New Love!

Get Some Va Va Va-voom for Valentines!

What Happened To The Innocence Of Valentine's?

QUIZ: What Every Woman Who Wants To Marry Should Know!

Christmas-proof Your Relationship For The Fraught Holiday Season!

Why Mismatched Couples Should Beware!

You Can Get Out Of An Abusive Or Violent Relationship!

Just How Manly A Man Do You Want?

Understanding The McCartney's War Of Words When They Divorced

Toy Boys - The Latest Celebrity Girls’ Fashion Accessory

What's the real meaning behind his Valentine's gift to you?

Guys - some top tips for buying her a fabulous present!

Stop Worrying About Your Wedding! Beat those wedding-day nerves!

Dating tips for MEN - The Secrets Of Her Body Language

Dating tips for MEN - Your First Date, First Phone Call and First Kiss

Dating tips for MEN - Surefire Ways and Where to Meet Women

Dating tips for MEN - Don't Be a Romantic Loser

Dating tips for WOMEN - Capturing His Attention

Dating tips for WOMEN - What to Do When Things Go Wrong

Dating tips for WOMEN - The Wise Woman's Guide to The Art of Flirting

Dating tips for WOMEN - Love at First Sight

Thoughts on Why Infidelity Is on the Rise

Four Fabulous Steps To Improve Your Relationship!

MEN: You behaved badly - what to do!

Suspect He's Cheating?

Seven Secrets of Successful Long-Distance Relationships

Find Love For Valentine's Day!

QUIZ: Is It Love or Is It Lust?

How To Decipher Male- Versus Female-Speak

QUIZ: Are You A Man's Woman Or A Woman's Woman?

How Marriage Changes Through The Decades

Relationship Guaranteed: 10 Little Tricks To Stay Together

Marriage SOS – Seven steps to save your relationship!

QUIZ: Are You Marrying For The Right Reasons?

The Great Matchmaker Guide

Prevent A Mid-Life Crisis In Your Marriage

The Millisecond Marriages – Too Much, Too Soon!

Money, Men And You

Why Do You Have Repeated Relationship Failures?

Are You Too Needy In Relationships?

The Unique And Quirky Guide To Finding Love In The New Year!

The Nine Signs of a Non-committer

Eight Things You Should Never Say To Your Partner

Has Your Relationship Suffered Over Summer?

The Ten-Minute Window in Relationships

Prevent an Affair!

The Secrets of Seduction

A Warning Call To The Lonely And Single Generation!

QUIZ: How Likely Are You To Have An Affair?

QUIZ: How Insecure Is Your Love?

Could He Be A Natural-Born Cheat?

QUIZ: How Well Do You Know Your Man?

Seven Secrets of Successful Long-Distance Relationships

The New Dating Dilemmas - And How To Cope With Them

The Deal Breakers That Threaten Your Relationship

QUIZ: Don't Ditch Your Relationship Too Soon!

Warning - Divorce Is Dangerous To Your Health!

The Fabulous Flirt Guide

QUIZ: Great EX-pectations - Is Your Ex Jeopardising Your Relationship?

QUIZ: Harness Those Wedding Day Doubts And Nerves

QUIZ: Are You Still Haunted By The Ghost Of Your Ex?

Beware - Your Broken Heart Should Come With A Health Warning!

Heal Your Xmas Holiday Break-up!

A QUICKIE FOR YOU: My top five tips for a long relationship

Some crucial tips to avoid money related arguments!

Top Relationship Tips For Preventing Christmas Stress

Couples: Be careful what you bicker about

QUIZ: Are You Bored To Tears With Your Relationship?

Separated But Still Under The Same Roof!

Six Signs Your First Date Could Signal Love!

The Seven Deadly Signs Your Relationship Is In Trouble

Seven Ways to His Heart You Probably Haven't Thought Of!

QUIZ: The Great Guide To Having A Second Go!

Find Love In A Few Weeks!


The Ultimate Couple's Communication Guide


Better Communication Equals Better Balance In Your Relationship!


Every relationship goes through ups and downs with both partners vying for attention, love, and even power! It's the emotionally “wise” couple that realises at any given point the couple, or one of the partners, may have needs or issues that are difficult to meet. This is when the “unwise” couple ends up arguing in destructive ways. The wise couple works it out without diminishing each other or their relationship.


Relationships are also about compromise. From the outside that might appear to mean that every partner gives something up when in a relationship. However by viewing the bigger picture, each partner should feel that they're benefiting more by compromising with each other.


There are a number of tips, tricks and techniques you can use to ensure you have effective communication and compromise that promote a happy relationship and can either prevent arguments or ensure you argue constructively when you do.


Dr Pam’s damage-limitation tips:




1/ Don't stew over things. If you can’t get an issue out of your mind then you need to talk about it with your partner. Do this before it boils over!


2/ That said, if it's a small issue that's not really playing on your mind, ask yourself how you'd feel if your partner raised it with you? Would you be fine with it or think it was a ridiculously petty thing? If you'd feel it was petty remind yourself about the bigger picture.


3/ Have regular discussions when you’re both chilled out about where things are going right and perhaps where things are going "less right".


4/ Remind yourself every day why you first fell in love. It's easy to forget these important things with the daily grind of life.


5/ Accept responsibility for your part of the relationship. You can’t expect your partner to always make you feel better, always help you de-stress, always help you find solutions to your problems, etc.


6/ When calm, identify ‘hot spots’ that make you angry. Most arguing forms a pattern around a couple core issues. Plan how to move forward on these.


7/ Agree some topics you may never compromise over but you agree to disagree – and don't argue about these!


8/ Learn from past mistakes. It's no good sorting something out but then falling back into the same negative cycle. Check each other by asking in a positive fashion, "how am I doing with X, Y, or Z?"




1/ Learn to express your needs in a helpful way. For example, if you need extra TLC because your manager’s giving you a hard time at work – ask your partner for it. Even the most loving partner may not realise when things have got worse in a particular situation for you.


2/ Your partner is not a mind reader and this is particularly true for men. Rather than drop hints about something, expecting him to guess what's on your mind, choose a simple but straightforward and honest way to mention it.


3/ Speak clearly, without what can be frustrating pauses and silences. Check the other has understood what you said. It's better to say, e.g., "Do you understand how that hurt my feelings?" and get them to feed-back to you what their understanding of the situation is. Rather then crossing your fingers and hoping they understood you.


4/ Choose your time wisely to bring something up. If you've only got 15 minutes you don't want to raise something that actually needs an evening to discuss. Or if you’re both stressed out after a long day it may end up in a row.


5/ Mind how much alcohol is involved when discussing important issues. A little alcohol can relax you both but too much means you may get argumentative or say things you might think twice about saying when sober.


6/ Switch-off mobiles, TV, radio, etc., to prevent interruptions.


7/ Agree 1-2 goals to discuss when having a constructive conversation - not all, e.g., 12 issues you disagree over!


8/ Begin with something positive about your partner. By generating a good vibe from the start of a discussion you're more likely to stick to a positive path.


9/ Be "hopeful" when discussing an issue that crops up frequently by identifying an instance where, e.g., you haven't argued over this particular issue. By being hopeful your partner is more likely to feel hopeful about the issue.

10/ Choice of words is important - for example, use "I statements" beginning with "I feel x, y, z" as this personalises what you're saying.


11/ Explain your part in the issue - problems are rarely 100% one partner's fault.




1/ Feedback to your partner what they've told you so you know you've got the right meaning/message.


2/ As you listen to what they're saying try putting yourself in their shoes. Think through how you'd really feel in their position.


3/ Once you've listen to what they have to say write out your two points of view. See if there’s middle ground you two haven’t ‘seen’.


4/ Even if your partner says something you entirely disagree with, let them finish their thought - do not interrupt them!




1/ Give each other two minutes uninterrupted talking time. Use an egg timer if needs be to stick to this.


2/ Agree if things get heated you'll take a "breather", and then try discussing the issue
from a different tack. Many issues do not get sorted in one go.


3/ Don't throw into an already heated exchange an irrelevant issue from past rows. Let those things go and stick to whatever you’re disagreeing about now.


4/ If an argument starts, count to ten before yelling. This gives your brain a chance to get in gear rather then be dominated by strong emotions. If it doesn't work then tell your partner you must leave the room to cool-down as you don't want to say anything you'll regret.


5/ Never make sweeping generalisations like, ‘you never help me!’ It’s very rare that someone ‘never’ does something positive or ‘always’ does something negative.


6/ Rather than shout, e.g., "You f**king Bas***d" think of something funny to shout like, "You silly bunny!" to dispel anger. It can work and is far less regrettable!


7/ The old adage "don't let the sun go down on anger" is true. It's far better to make up or at least to give each other a hug, and the reassurance that you’ll work it out, and suggest continuing at another time.


8/ When angry never go for your partner's emotional "jugular vein". Stop yourself before saying something you'll completely regret, e.g., in anger shouting, "we should get a divorce!" Once you put the D-word into your arguments it's a very slippery slope.


When all is said and done and you've expressed yourself, listened to your partner, and hopefully understood each other it's always far more important to be happy together then for one of you to be “right” about something. Someone can be the most " right" person in the world - and the most lonely - having lost out in love by never graciously bowing out of an argument that's really not worth having.


Relate Couples Couselling – 0845-130-4016


The Emotional Eater's Diet

My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.

I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.

It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!

Buy Now on:

Sex Academy - Essential Lessons in Seduction & Spectacular Sex

I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!

Buy Now on:

How to be a Happy Human - Ten Essential Principles to Change Your Life!

I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.

Buy Now on:

Steamy Sex - The Sex Doctor's Answers For Keeping It Hot

My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!

Buy Now on:

Sex Dreams & Symbols

Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.

Buy Now on:

Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks, and Techniques

My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.

Buy Now on:

The Dating Survival Guide - Ten Top Tactics For Total Success

Dating. It's a jungle out there. This is the ultimate guide to negotiating your way around the minefield of the dating game. Practical advice, useful tips and insights cover all dating issues to revolutionise your love life!

Buy Now on:

The Break-up Survival Kit - Emotional Rescue For The Newly Single!

Relationship breakdown's rife and the emotional fall-out from a break-up is incalculable. Here's emotional rescue for the heartbroken packed with tips, advice, plus practical assistance allowing the broken-hearted to rebuild their lives.

Buy Now on:

Fabulous Foreplay - The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing & Pleasing Your Lover

No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!

Buy Now on:

Sensational Sex: The Revolutionary Guide To Sexual Pleasure & Fulfilment

No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.

Buy Now on:

Sinful Sex: The Uninhibited Guide to Erotic Pleasure

No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'

Buy Now on:

Your Child's Dreams

A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares.  These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!

Buy Now on: