Is Stress Actually Stressing You Out?...Tackle the strain of...
To Ensure You Find Love &Romance!
You're in good company if you're feeling sad about being single and not having someone special to share your life with. According to the Office of National Statistics there are now more singles than ever.
But you can arm yourself with the knowledge that’s guaranteed to improve your chances of finding love by following my crucial ‘dos and don'ts’ guide. Otherwise, you might just find the competition snaps up that single person you've had your eye on.
1/ Do believe this is a challenge like any other!
How do you face a challenge of any type? I'm sure you plan steps to help you meet it. It's no different when finding love. If you think finding love is all about "luck" or that it "just happens" you're wrong. But if you change your mindset, and think of it like a proper challenge, then you can begin defining this challenge and how best to meet it.
2/ Do make a step-by-step plan!
Now that you accept you’re going to treat finding love like any other challenge, start planning your steps. The first step is accepting that where you've been looking for love hasn't been fruitful - so you need to generate new ideas of where to go and what you should do. The next step would be to plan at least weekly visits to new places to optimise your chances of meeting someone.
3/ Do define and develop your dating ‘brand’!
Of course you're much more than a ‘product’ to be ‘marketed’ but it helps you get what you want if you think about the ‘brand’ or ‘image’ you project. If you want love and marriage but always go out dressed for nightclubbing, then you're image is just plain wrong. Plan your wardrobe and your look to give off the right signals for your dating brand.
4/ Do be ready for a spontaneous encounters!
Where luck does enter into dating is with spontaneous encounters. Be ready at a moment's notice to switch on a friendly smile when, say, an attractive person gets in the lift with you at work. Being ready to act spontaneously is an art. It includes not swanning down to the local shops in your tatty, old tracksuit but wearing something presentable in case you bump into an attractive single who's moved into your neighbourhood.
5/ Do visualize your final success!
Just as a successful footballer visualises scoring a goal - before a match - so too should you start visualising yourself as having happily met someone. Each evening visualise an image of "you in love" - how happy and vibrant does this image look? Hang on to that image and it’ll put a lift in your step and a sparkle in your smile.
1/ Don't forget the importance of your body-language!
If you’re skulking around with "shrinking violet" type body-language you put potential dates. There's nothing less attractive than someone who looks anxious, insecure and unsure of themselves. Before you go out and relax and stretch your limbs for a moment or two. Check your posture in the mirror and then go out looking confident.
2/ Don't hog the spotlight!
When you meet someone, you’ll appear far more attractive if you turn the spotlight on them. Keep it simple and ask, say, how they got to your friend’s birthday drinks-party - or wherever it is you bumped into them. Besides, when you turn the spotlight on them you take the spotlight off of your nerves.
3/ Don't let rejection knock your confidence!
Everyone gets knocked back. If we all crumpled into a heap when someone turned us down for a date then the human race would be long gone. If someone doesn't respond to your interest chalk it up to it being the wrong time for them to date or you simply just don't fit the bill for them. It's not personal!
4/ Don't draw attention to any negatives!
When we're not feeling confident we tend to apologise for anything and everything - like not wearing the right outfit, feeling ‘out of place’, even for our ‘nerves’. You can choose to draw attention to your negative feelings or you can draw attention to the positives. You can mention you love discovering new places (like this one where you've met him), that your wine’s delicious, that you just saw a fantastic film, etc. Put yourself in their shoes - which conversation would you rather hear - the negative or positive one when you first meet someone?
5/ Don't wait for them to make the first move!
It's a fallacy that men should always make the first move. In fact dating research shows that women, who signal their interest in subtle ways, encourage a man to make that first move. So we women hold the key to them making the first move! It's simple - if you flash him welcoming smiles, enjoy his jokes, and create a nice pleasurable ‘comfort zone’ around you (a ‘zone’ he feels good in your company) he'll make that move and ask you out.
Finally, dating success will be yours if you believe in the qualities you have to offer a potential date.
A similar article was published in the Express newspaper
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!