Squaring up to Your Shynes...
If you suffer with shyness...
When you have a few days between Christmas and New Year's together it can be either the perfect time to recharge relationships. All relationships have ups and downs, and need attention to keep them vibrant and fulfilling. Try these across all your relationships:
Start listening - It's a common mistake to assume you know someone like a family member or partner inside-out so you second guess what they're saying. You interrupt them as they speak giving the subconscious message that you don't really have to listen. Research shows this negatively impacts communication so listen to them as if you were getting to know them again.
Use your eyes - How often do you find yourself talking to your partner or friend with one eye on the newspaper, TV, a text you've received, etc. This chips away at your relationship when instead you can enhance communication by looking at them when they speak.
Shake things up - You've probably slipped into a dull routine doing the same old things. This takes the gloss off any relationship. Ask your partner, friend or sibling to suggest new things to try as well as offering your own suggestions. You'll find a new sparkle to your relationship by doing them.
The feelgood factor - Research shows that being taken for granted’s one of the frequent reasons for break-ups. Let your partner know they’re important. Compliment them and boost them with TLC when they feel down. Drop a text or e-mail so they know you're thinking of them. You'll get back as good as you give!
Be clear - Beating around the bush never solves any relationship issue. Use "I statements" when making a point, e.g., "I think we should...". Studies show this simple technique demonstrates that you accept responsibility for your share of the relationship.
Be realistic - Is a relationship damaging or destructive? Whether it's a partner or a friend, you should ask yourself why you're sticking with it. It may be time to face this reality and move on.
A similar article was published in the Times newspaper
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
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