Squaring up to Your Shynes...
If you suffer with shyness...
What Do We Lose When We Gain A New Lover...
Being a cat lover I felt for a client who’s told me she must get rid of her treasured cat, Theo, because her now-committed boyfriend is highly allergic. You can imagine that's not an easy thing to do.
Linda, 37, is beside herself over this loss. But hang on a minute: gain a man? Lose a cat? What’s the dilemma - after all this is the woman who's banged on about her biological clock hammering in her ears for two years and how much she wanted to meet someone to settle down with. Her chance has arrived in the shape of David who's also keen to marry and start a family.
But all Linda’s focussed on is her loss. Yes, Theo’s provided her with companionship for four years. And Linda's morphed into a classic, cat-fussing singleton who chats to her moggy and lavishes it with gifts on birthdays and Christmas. We understand she’s attached to Theo but time to wake up and appreciate being able to gain the chance of a real family with a real partner!
With budding relationships that are turning serious I often hear people discuss what they're losing (some freedom, their flat, their cat!) rather than what they’re gaining. And sometimes their “loss” seems quite petty - not smoking around their new lover as it disgusts them, resisting ordering a big, juicy steak the sight of which sickens their new veggie partner, and suchlike.
This theme of gain and loss within a new relationship plays itself out in many ways. Depending on your personality and perspective the balance can swing one way or another - you harbour resentment over your loss, making sure your new partner knows what you've given up, leading to grumbles and strains. Or optimistically focus on your gain embracing it wholeheartedly. Many of us fall somewhere in between realising we've got a cup half full and trying not to worry about the other half that's emptied away.
A similar article was published in the Times newspaper
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!