As Brangelina break up, tips parents must use when breaking up...
The children of...
The Rise of the Plan B Pact...Actress turned swimwear designer Liz Hurley ONCE confessed she and Hugh Grant might end up like Darby and Joan living as comfortable companions rather than in a full-on coupling. Though now she's firmly with Shane Warne. And while characters in the US sitcom Friends similarly joked they’d do the same if romance failed them, no one expected such pairings in reality.
Increasingly though I hear from couples who agree exactly that: a ‘Plan B’ pact where as long-term friends if neither finds love they’ll forge a complete relationship. Sometimes it's the woman's suggestion particularly if her biological clock’s going off. Other times it's the men’s idea, often harbouring deeper feelings for their female friend.
Take Tom and Linda, both 36. [all personal details changed] Friends since Uni days they witnessed the ups and downs of each other's lives. Enjoying a drunken one-night stand as first years they built a firm, platonic friendship.
Friends often said they'd make the “perfect couple” and they’d tease each other they’d end up together. Then one fateful night on Linda’s 34th birthday she confided her fears: time was slipping away and she desperately wanted children.
Initially Tom laughed off suggestions they should be each other's Plan B. But after being dumped by a woman he’d dated a few months, Tom agreed and their pact was sealed. They slipped nervously into a full sexual relationship and announced their engagement.
Friends were pleased their teasing years back had truth in it. However Tom and Linda couldn't get their families on board causing difficulties. Both sets of parents were traditional fearing "the arrangement" as they dubbed it was no basis for marriage.
Overall things have worked out for them but not for Jane and Alex both 35. Ten years before they'd met as young city lawyers enjoying a fantastic friendship. A drunken snog one Christmas party was occasionally discussed in late-night chats - could there be something between them?
Such thoughts were brushed aside until their early 30s when Alex confessed he’d like to deepen things with Jane. He felt the time was right to settle down and there was no better potential partner than Jane - after all they were great friends. Jane suggested giving it a year and if still single they could move in together - their Plan B was set.
Towards the end of that period Jane started seeing a man she completely fell for. Alex was left furious because he passed on various offers to date women thinking their Plan B was the perfect solution. They no longer speak and their Plan B led to nothing short of a disaster with Alex feeling crushed.
Certainly Plan Bs have worked many usually on the basis they're completely honest about why they’re making such a pact. The successful ones also maintain communication through any given time frame. Often at least one secretly fancied their friend - a good starting point for the relationship crossing into sexual territory. Also they're the ones where friends and family are supportive and felt long-term love forged off the back of friendship was a gift. With so many singles leaving settling down much later I’m certain there’ll be plenty more Plan B pacts.
An edited version of this appeared in times2
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!