You can manage your Seasonal Affective Disorder
Murder on the Dance Floor...Ever given a thought to the flukes of character or quirks of behaviour that you can - or can’t - overlook in a potential partner? I thought about this recently when a friend, Melissa, 41, [personal details changed] prejudged a "Mr Potential" because he had some bad moves when they went clubbing - like dad dancing as she described it.
Melissa got chatting to him at a party and was definitely attracted to him. But when they hit the dancefloor his dancing turned her right off. I gather he was a bit of a "dad dancer" - old-before-his-time and embarrassing on his feet.
You might be thinking, "How could she cut out a potential love interest for something as small as this?" Because in the grand scheme of relationships does dancing really mean anything? And anyway, how often would she go out dancing? Probably once or twice a year, so Melissa wouldn't be confronted by his flailing arms often.
My immediatee response was the same as yours. And that's not the first time I've thought someone made a rash romantic decision. I've heard of many instances where a person ruthlessly decides in the space of an evening, for an apparently petty reason, that he/she's not worth pursuing.
But here's the rub - until a new partner’s had the chance to build up some sort of social standing in your eyes they risk being eliminated at the first round if they do something attracting negative social attention. And we've all gaped, open mouthed at really bad movers on the dancefloor. Melissa would’ve sensed this and backed off from negative social attention. Sadly for most it’d take confidence of steel not be affected by the stares of others.
If Melissa had met this man in other circumstances and gone for drinks, followed by a dinner date, another time gone to a film, etc., they may well be in a relationship. The moral of this story is to be aware of dad-dancing amongst other quirky behaviours when you first meet!
An edited version of this was published in The Times
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
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