Bullying at work, in brief…
Money does matter... Maggie, 31, [all personal details changed for anonymity] is a little upset because a new promotion means she earns more than her long-term boyfriend. You might think, "What the heck - doesn't she know there's a recession on?" But it's never that simple.
Previously she and Tom, 32, have been on a par in their respective careers with Tom earning fractionally more. Maggie's an old-fashioned girl at heart and that status quo was absolutely fine with her. Ideally she wants him to earn more.
There's a fat chance of that happening with a slowdown in his industry compared to hers. How has this upset manifested itself? It's meant that Maggie’s being a bit snappy with him. She's also been a little bit pushy if truth be told, urging him to look around at other prospects.
She recounted that Tom was bewildered as this old-fashioned principle of the man earning more than his "little woman" hadn't previously crossed his radar before. He's annoyed that she’s annoyed with him. Personally I find her attitude extraordinary but professionally I try and understand all sides. There's usually some sort of understanding and solution to be found if you look at each prospective.
Maggie needed to explore with Tom why she felt this way. What was it in Maggie's emotional make-up that meant she felt better as a partner to have him fulfilling an old-fashioned role? Some heart-to-hearts uncovered what was going on and actually improved their relationship.
Maggie revealed her parents had enjoyed this traditional-type relationship with her father the major breadwinner. Because he'd died at an early age this image of her parents happy relationship, crucially at that time, had been crystallised in her young mind. Maggie equated security with how things had been and desperately wanted to recreate this. Now Tom understood this together they sought to enhance feelings of security within their relationship not attached to earning power. They improved communication at an emotional level and have moved on together.
An edited version of this was published in The Times
I’m excited that my new book ‘THE LAWS OF SISTERHOOD - The girlfriends’ guide to successful dating and finding the one’ is available to preorder on Amazon.
I hope you find it a unique guide that emphasises how single friends can help each other make the most of the dating scene. As well as containing a vast array of tips and techniques to help you to dating success - everything from the first date, online dating, the signals he gives out through different behaviours, and how to improve your own signals are included.
“Pam’s dating book is inspired and will make you a much more attractive and confident date” Jo Hemmings, Behavioural psychologist and author
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!