40+ women will recognise mirror angst "syndrome" where they become acutely aware and overly...
Warning - Divorce Is Dangerous To Your Health!
No one who's been through a break-up can deny how utterly miserable it feels. Any way you look at it, breaking-up is hard to do and soul-destroying. When left by a person you’ve loved more than anything you’d do anything to change their mind. And feel helpless in the face of their rejection. If it's been a mutual decision these are often accompanied by much to-ing and fro-ing, terrific ups and downs during the decision process. You two hurtle through the process questioning, “should we break-up, make-up, stay together, separate?” And even if you're the one who's decided to leave, most people leave because they've been terribly unhappy.
Not only do people experience many painful emotions – grief, rage, regret, hopelessness - but many describe a real physical hurt. It's been reported that Heather Mills McCartney has felt an actual physical pain in the bloody aftermath of her break-up from Sir Paul. What's fascinating, if it wasn’t so sad, is there may be something in such feelings. Recent research from the University of Texas shows that the stresses and strains of relationship breakdown can trigger long-term cardiovascular problems in women. It's staggering to think that divorcing women have a 50 per cent increased risk of heart disease compared to women who never divorce. This wasn’t found to be true for men.
With roughly 40 per cent of marriages ending in divorce and cohabiting relationships breaking down at twice that rate, as a life coach and agony aunt I'm concerned with huge levels of emotional distress in this process. But in light of this medical research it's even more important women heal a broken heart in proactive ways.
No one can claim to be unscathed by a serious break-up so here’s my guide to help you through the worst –
Taking these steps may just protect your heart - emotionally and physically. Finally, it's quite common to feel extremely depressed for two to three weeks after a major break-up. After that you should start having some better days interspersed with sad ones. However if real despair continues longer then this consult your doctor about depression.
Published in The Express Newspaper
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