Beware of The Bully Lurking in Your Office
The Fabulous Flirt Guide
Here are some top tips
A little bit of flirting goes a long way to making the person you're flirting with feel fantastic. But most people believe there’s a great deal of skill to being a fab flirt. Nothing could be further from the truth - anyone can master this art of getting that special person's attention.
I've coined the term Positive Flirt Approaches, or PFAs - these lay the groundwork for attracting someone. Use My Ten Top PFA’s To Become A Fabulous Flirt:
PFA Tip No. 1: It's all about feeling good!
What's the point of flirting? To make someone feel good and want to come back for more! Flirting is a non-physical form of sensuality. It hints at something "more" but doesn't give it. Begin with good eye-contact across a room à la the late Princess Diana who was a fabulous flirt. Dip your chin slightly, looking out from under your eyelashes. Hold that look for two seconds - more than a quick glance. Then look away, and then look back again at them - the "double glance" signals you find them interesting.
PFA Tip No. 2: It's in your body language!
Flirtatious body language is clever, Not OTT, giving skilful signals. Utilise an attractive ‘S’ shape where you allow your posture to create a flowing shape rather than being dead upright. Imagine you've spotted someone at a party - you can face them and slightly dip one hip so the other raises by bending one knee and leaving the other leg straight. Or create flirtatious body language by not facing straight onwards to them and allowing your shoulders to swing slightly towards them. Practice creating sensual body posture that attracts attention.
PFA Tip No. 3: Flash that smile!
It’s never flirtatious to look nervous/anxious. Instead flash a welcoming smile to that person you'd like to meet. Don't hesitate, smile, pause for a moment, then look away again. Smiling - and staring - can be too aggressive and a turn-off.
PFA Tip No. 4: You don't need chat-up lines!
A fab flirt never uses chat-up lines. They’re off-putting, and unless you have the timing of a stand-up comedian, the joke’s on you. Instead keep initial conversation simple, fun and flirty. Ask what brought them there, how they know the host, and remark on things like "it being the perfect evening for a drinks party". Research shows that planting positive words like "perfect" in your conversation is a subconscious stimulus for them to like you. It sounds old-fashioned but laughing when they crack a joke plus relaxed and sensual body language, gives them a flirtatious message.
PFA Tip No. 5: Focus the spotlight on them!
A surefire way to fire-up some flirtatious chemistry is to ask them about themselves. You’ll seem more interesting to them, if you act interested in them. It doesn't have to be "20 questions" as that appears too desperate. But asking what they thought of the latest blockbuster or the type of music they like, etc., signals your interest.
PFA Tip No. 6: Be aware of the no-no's!
There are definite ways to stop flirting in its tracks including fidgeting and nervous movements that signal you lack confidence. An aura of confidence is attractive! Avoid excessively loud, aggressive, showing-off behaviour with your friends - very offputting. Don't close down your body-language due to nerves so avoid crossing your legs tightly, crossing your arms over your chest, etc. Also over-confident body-language including too much preening is quite threatening.
PFA Tip No. 7: Create your comfort zone!
Once you've got their attention, had a phone call or two, or are getting together, be aware of the "comfort zone" you create. I coined the term many years ago to make people aware of how others feel in their presence. That new person should feel desirable, comfortable, and that they've your full attention. A fab flirt doesn't allow their attention to wander - particularly to look at other people! One trick to enhance your comfort zone is to arrive on a date feeling calm rather than stressed.
PFA Tip No. 8: Bridge the gap!
The next stage of flirting is to bridge the gap in your personal spaces. Use the "bridging" technique - when they’re speaking lean towards them and lightly touch their forearm or knee with your fingertips. This clearly signals attraction.
PFA Tip No. 9: Widen your circle of opportunities!
If you go to the same places, you meet the same people. Increase your chances for flirting by going to new interest/hobby groups, singles evenings, and even shop in a different supermarkets!
PFA Tip No. 10: Taking and making opportunities!
Finally, enhance your chances of attracting someone by making and taking opportunities. Be ready for spontaneous encounters - in a lift at work, at a conference, in a pub, etc. Be aware of who's around you so you don’t walk right past people you might find attractive. Maintain a relaxed attitude and be ready with an easy smile. Also become a "yes" person, saying Yes to every opportunity as they arise. A simple smile in the lift at work may end up in a flirty conversation and more.
Published in The Express Newspaper
My new book The Emotional Eater's Diet is published in the UK on May 15 - I’m very excited as I hope emotional eaters - women or men will find it helpful. Each year 2/3s of people start a diet and 20% start a new diet each month. Yet 95% of diets aren’t successful.
I firmly believe that emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is the culprit behind most of this failure. My book has a huge range of practical tips/strategies to help understand your emotions and manage your appetite. There are mini-quizes and real case studies.
It’s available to preorder on Amazon. Please remember that food can fuel your energy needs but not your emotional needs. Take care!
I'm delighted that my latest book Sex Academy was endorsed by my fellow self-help author Siski Green who said: "Sex Academy really is THE Bible of sex books. The lessons and lectures cover the A-Z of everything you want to know - from Anal sex to getting Zero sex." I hope you enjoy it!
I was so excited and HAPPY to write this book on happiness covering my 10 unique Happiness Principles. I hope it helps increase your well-being, contentment, and happiness. I've packed it with dozens and dozens of easy-to-use strategies, plus life-changing insights. Based on about five years of collecting case studies and research I hope you'll find it helpful.
My latest sex guide's out - I've gone through thousands of questions people ask me about sex - from why they don't feel desire to how to handle a partner's kinky fetish. Here are the answers plus loads of tricks and techniques. Enjoy!
Discover the relationship between your dreams and your sex- and love-life! Go on a journey of self-discovery in this unique dream book. Case studies, a dream directory, and ‘dreamersises’ help you interpret your dreams.
My research found if a couple's been together more than one year it's unlikely you've tried any new sex tip, trick or technique for at least four months! Rescue's at hand with my 250 hottest sex tips for every aspect of your sex life.
No couple or single can be without this unique, best-selling book containing a vast range of techniques, tricks and tips to turn your lover on. From attracting someone new to recharging your old relationship, Fabulous, explores each of the sexual senses in turn!
No. 1 selling book offering you tons of fantastic sex tips PLUS a new and revolutionary ways of looking at sexual pleasure and ‘problems‘ and how they fit into a person's whole life and relationships.
No. 1 selling sex book covering everything from how your body works to infinite sex tips. The Daily Star said: 'Sinful Sex has something for everyone'
A unique parenting book giving you creative techniques to understand your child better through their dreams and nightmares. These reveal so much about a child that most parents miss out on. Strengthen your parent-child relationship, their confidence and well-being!