Latest From the Blog


New painting: Blue Mood

Blue Mood is acrylics on canvas, 60 x 90 cm.

Based on one person telling me about their blue mood feeling "shivery".
£425 plus P&P or for international sales or $575 plus P&P. Please email pamspurrart@gmail.com to purchase, thank you!
 
Pictured here followed by some close up shots...
 
 
 
 


Single at Christmas? It can be fantastic...

Here's my latest Wingman dating App column... 

You can’t avoid Christmas and New Year’s and it can become a bit overwhelming – not just for singles but even for happy couples who wonder if they’re ‘doing enough’. If you’re happily single you’ve undoubtedly sorted yourself out for the onslaught.

BUT if you’re single and looking for love it can be tricky – feeling like everyone else is cosy at Christmas and loved up for the new Year!

Here are some top tips to boost your festive feelings:

*Grab this time to enjoy spoiling yourself – if you’re alone this holiday season then order your favourite takeaways, sort out your favourite box sets, and do things YOU enjoy.

*Contact any friends who might also be on their own and make simple plans – meet for walks, coffees, drinks – the little things can bring lots of happiness.

*If you’re resilient, feeling confident and aren’t worried about rejection (you shouldn’t be because we all get rejected) then there are some singles events on offer so go online and find out what’s near you.

*This is the perfect time to get on Wingman app even more frequently to check out who’s around.

*Use this time to widen your circle of opportunity – spend time researching new places to go in 2022. If you always go to the same places you see the same faces whether it’s the same café you go to at your lunch break or the same bar you go to for drinks after work.

*Get outside your comfort zone - sign up to a new book club, gym, or dance, art or language class – anything to widen your social network and get you enthused about life.

*Don’t fall into the envy trap – thinking all the couples you know are having a great time. Remind yourself that in the New Year divorce lawyers get more business than any other time so a lot of those couples who put on a façade are actually not that happy. Revel in the fact that right now you can do as you please and don’t answer to anyone.

*Think about your priorities for finding love in the New Year. ‘Thinking in ink’ can be a big help so make a list of all the things you’re looking for in a date and then list your top 5 in order of priority.  Anything below these you may be willing to compromise on - but if someone’s not able to meet your top 5 move on immediately. Remember your top five should be about things like they are respectful - being less strict about the ‘shallower’ things in life – like their hair colour – is a good lesson to learn. Forget the fact that the ex who got away was a brunette and that’s what you’re looking for!

Happy Christmas, happy New Year and happy dating, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

There might be someone special under the mistletoe for you next year!The Enduring Romance of Mistletoe, a Parasite Named After Bird Poop |  Science | Smithsonian Magazine

 


New painting: Peacock Dreams No 8

Peacock Dreams No 8 - acrylics on 300gsm Bockingford paper in a lightweight white frame, 67 x 87 cm. Framing options available!
 
Based on The peacock I saw in the Cotswolds last summer and also someone telling me about their dream about peacocks and feeling at one with nature so I've given this springlike shades.
To purchase please email pamspurrart@gmail.com - £495 plus P&P or for international sales $650 plus P &P with frame included.
 
Photographed here with close up shots... 
 
 
 
 


Calling all singles! Six potential reasons why they ghosted you...

My latest column for Wingman Dating App...

It's a sad fact that literally 99% of singles I've date-coached have been ghosted. Some even admit to having ghosted someone, themselves.

 

When a single has been ghosted the first question they have, in a coaching session, is why do people 'ghost'?

 

I’ve spoken to countless singles plus looked at relationship surveys and there are some key reasons why people decide to ghost someone. Instead of saying something simple like they don't want to take it any further.

 

Here are six key reasons that should help you move on:

 

1/ Embarrassment - sometimes it feels like you're making too big a deal out of not seeing some again. For instance, if you've only had one date many singles figure it's hard to find the right words to say. And that they’ll embarrass themselves and make a hash of it. 

 

It's easy enough to avoid any embarrassment by thinking through something simple to say like, as above, that you don't want to take things further but it was nice to meet them.

 

2/ The other person won't care - many singles think that if you've only done lots of messaging - or only had a date or two - that the other person won't care if you don't give them a reason for not seeing them again. 

 

Scratch that thought - most people do care even if you've only had one date, etc. Also, sometimes people ghost because they don’t think they’re ‘good enough’ for the other person to care.

 

3/ It's early days - some people tell themselves that it's early days and it really doesn't matter about getting in touch with that person you've been messaging on an app. Or that maybe you’ve even met up with. Yes, it's early days but still people do want to know what's going on.

 

4/ Lack of communication skills - some singles think they just don't have the communication skills to let someone down gently after a brief amount of dating or, say, after lots of messaging. As with number 1/ simply practice what you want to say and then do it.

 

5/ Sociopathic behaviour - you might have had a lucky escape and you're ghosted by someone with sociopathic tendencies or who is a true sociopath. Sociopaths ghost all the time! Some just don't care and some might even get some pleasure knowing that they've left a person dangling and wondering what's going on.

 

6/ You were let down – you might choose to go someone who didn’t behave very well on a date or made you feel uncomfortable in some way. You feel it’s not your responsibility to give them a reason and fair enough in this case.

 

Ultimately, it's almost always better to drop someone a message or have a brief call with them (depending on whether you've had dates or simply have been messaging). All you need to do is be polite, straightforward and keep it brief. This can make all the difference to a fellow single. Keep in mind how you want to be treated and that's how you should treat other singles.

 

Happy dating, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

Ghost Holding Heart Emoji" Sticker by The-Mage | Redbubble


New painting: Question Mark

Question Mark - acrylics on 300gsm Bockingford paper in a lightweight black or white wood frame as shown below. 87 x 67 cm overall including frame (framing options available).

Based on how one client felt about question marks over their life.

To purchase please email pamspurrart@gmail.com to purchase at £425 plus P&P (includes this present frame) or $560 plus P&P for international sales.

There are three close up shots here too, love, Pam x

p.s. find the question mark...


Head over to my twitter page to see my fantastic giveaway!

I've teamed up with the lovely people at ITV Studios to offer one lucky winner 11 box sets of drama and comedy series!

Go to my Twitter and find the competition tweet from Tuesday, November 30th and it's easy PC to enter.

One lucky, randomly selected, winner will get all these sets pictured below, good luck, Pam x


If you're single please read my new dating red flags column...

 

Here's my new Wingman dating app column...

Recently I wrote a Wingman column about dating ‘red flags’ to watch for when you meet someone new. Now it’s the turn for the wonderful you! What are your own dating red flags that put other people off?

If you can get to grips with these behaviours, when you first meet someone, it will lead to more successful dating.

Here are three key red flags to watch for:

1/ Believing you have to find the ‘perfect’ match – The foundation for a happy new relationship is all about matching on key things with your personalities. These include having a similar moral code and outlook on life.

However, no match is ‘perfect’. If you keep looking for that perfect person there will be subtle signs in your behaviour when you’re with someone new that appear negative or off-putting. For instance, you might raise your eyebrows when they talk about one of their hobbies that doesn’t interest you. Two people can have a perfectly happy relationship without sharing every single hobby.

Keep this in mind as you meet new people. That you focus on the essence of their personality – which is really important like that they are respectful. And you’re not focusing on the superficial - like that hobby you find dull if you like a lot about the rest of them.

2/ Wanting too much, too soon – I’ve discussed this in so many Wingmen columns because it’s a real problem. Most singles find it easy enough to see when someone they’ve met want too much too soon – always messaging, always wanting to meet up, etc.

But spotting it in yourself? That’s trickier. For every time you have thought someone wants too much, too soon, there may well be someone who felt that about you at some point.

To prevent this, take a moment before you send that extra message. Take a moment before you suggest meeting up again straightaway. Give yourself a chance to reflect on whether this might come across as wanting things to move along too quickly. Such reflection can prevent you coming across this way.

 

3/ Express yourself – You can miss out on a good thing by feeling you can’t express your opinions. That news person asks where you want to meet and you tell them to decide. They ask what time is good for you and again you ask what works for them. They ask your opinion on a film that’s just come out, and you hesitate because you don’t want to come across as “too opinionated”.

Scratch that, most people want to have dates with people who know their minds – obviously with flexibility, like being prepared to go to a different film-genre then you usually do. However, you can add confidently that you don’t normally go to that genre.

Otherwise, it comes across as a red flag to them, that you are someone who either doesn’t know your mind or feels too insecure to share it.

Knowing your mind but also being open-minded is an extremely desirable quality.

Happy dating, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

 

 


Want your dream or nightmare interpreted? Join me tonight...

Tonight, 6:20 PM, UK time, I join the fantastic Jay James and Amy Casey on British forces broadcasting services radio on Instagram for a live dream and nightmare analysis session! There Instagram is @BFBSRadio.

Don't miss out, it's always a fascinating subject! A photo with Jay after The Overtones concert in December 2019...


New painting: Parallel Universes

I finally finished this new painting: Parallel Universes, it's acrylics on 300 gsm Bockingford paper. 

Overall size - including the frame - is 67 x 87 cm. 

Here are photos of it in a simple lightweight black wood frame and also a simple lightweight white wood frame. Many framing options are available. Also two close up shots.

This is based on one client saying that their life was like parallel universes with some very positive things happening in one part of their life and some very negative things happening in another part. It struck me that so many of us feel this way like were juggling to universes.

Please email pamspurrart@gmail.com to purchase at £450 plus P&P or for international sales $600 plus P&P.


Beware of Golden Penis Syndrome!

My latest column for Wingman Dating App... 

‘Golden penis syndrome’ is a coin termed by Americans on the dating scene referring to places where there are more women than men, for example, on many college campuses. This has led to men having more choice of women and developing an oversized ego to match.

 

Surveys have found that they believe women should work harder for their attention and that they obviously believe they have something ‘golden’ to offer!

 

And it’s not just college students but it’s also some men in careers where there are more women in the workplace, who might feel this way. Thankfully many men who happen to study or work where there are a majority of women, don’t feel that they are a ‘golden penis’ - or GP for short.

 

Here are a few signs that he might believe he’s the ‘GP’ that you should want to be with:

 

1/ He talks about all the women who have shown interest in him, made passes, messaged him on dating apps, etc. But he doesn’t talk about it as if he’s surprised that he’s getting all that attention. Instead he talks about it as if he deserves all that attention.

 

2/ He appears disappointed when you don’t make a regular fuss about how great he is. He may say things like: why don’t you message me more? Haven’t you been thinking about me? You really should nurture what we have! And such like.

 

3/ He mentions how he didn’t have much luck with women in his teenage years but how that’s all changed in recent years.

 

4/ He’ll be incredibly disappointed if you don’t pull out all the stops for his birthday. His expectations are exceedingly high.

 

5/ He frequently mentions how he’s given up a lot of opportunities to be with you.

 

This behaviour can be bewildering. It can leave you feeling confused that he seems to think he’s the best thing since sliced bread but actually you wouldn’t rate him that way.

 

If you’ve had a date with someone like this you need to think very carefully if they are worth your time. This kind of inflated self-belief can be very hard to change unless you set very strict boundaries on his behaviour. Plus pull him up and let him know how great you are!

 

Good luck if you decide to give him extra chances, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

 Me You Us - Lady Lust Mini Vibrator, 4.5 Inch, Gold


The Emotional Eater's Diet

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